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December 25, 2012
Raised Eyes !!!!!! Fakes and Flakes
Some mentioned to me that everyone lies on SDC for many reasons, I understand this. Not everyone is inclined to know all of your personal business unless they are your friends. With that being said I just want to ask everyone how they feel when they have been lied to by a couple or a single on SDC.
It has happened to all of us.
But we as swingers use words like FLAKES or FAKES.
I have been FAKED or FLAKED by couples and singles females in the past. It doesn't bother me because I always have a back up plan.
So have you ever had a situation were someone told you something like we can't make it child is sick or my wife is sick. Then they get a validation from a person the next day? LOL
Let me know your thoughts.....
by KING on December 31, 2012
Thanks, Celtic239 Really appreciate your response to the blog
by CELTIC239 on December 31, 2012
I was a bit confused because for us there is a real difference between a "Flake" and a "Fake". A "fake" for us is an individual/couple that pretends to be a swinger. Some may even show up for a "date" but inwardly have no intention of ever swinging. As a general rule we only meet other potential playmates at Lifestyle related events (meet and greets or clubs) which serves not only as our "backup plan" (for no shows) but also weeds out many of the uncommitted.
"Flakes" on the other hand come in all shapes and sizes. In our experience most have been single males that have no fucking conception as to the proper way to conduct themselves in public (that means keeping their hands to themselves unless invited otherwise). We have met the occasional single female but really no interest since my wife isn't really into girl on girl play. The fact that we don't click with another couple DOES NOT mean they are flakes it just means that things didn't work out on a "sexual" level but we still can hang out with them at the clubs. A "flake" (be it an individual or couple) for us is the epitome of drama and while he/she/them may be "hot" on a sexual level the old adage of " you don't stick your dick in crazy" is one to be relied upon.
by BLACKBECKHAMS on December 29, 2012
This is a great post. We noticed that most of the single women that we have communicated with have been full of shit. They wanted attention or they were looking for a quick distraction from their boyfriend or whatever. It wasted our time and it was disrespectful. We have met several couples that were flaky and full of shit also. Lying about family issues that just popped up an not rescheduling. Not rescheduling is a tell tale sign of bullshit. The majority if the couples that we have met have been great though. It may even be an issue if where we live. It may attract single women that are flaky and classless.
by KING on December 29, 2012
A back up plan to me is someone that you have been with regularly or know on a personal level and that you like to hang around in and outside of the bedroom... Truthfully none of this bothers me. I'm just asking and putting info out there and seeing what everything thinks. I have been lied to flacked, faked out several times but it doesn't me... I just wanted to know what people think and measure others thoughts... People are not inc d to play or give me a reason why we didn't meet up.. Shit it's life, and anything could of happened...
by COUPLEFUNFORALL on December 29, 2012
Curious as to " A validation the next day" are you implying the couple (or single)"Played elsewhere" ? As to The dreaded Drama queens , Flakes and Fakes , Time will tell on most everyone (So we've been told) Excuses do happen for Play time to not happen, never happen or stop happening ... To each their own ...Trust is an earned thing and should be given and taken with regard to everyone being human. Honesty in this lifestyle as the main lifestyle is the best policy. We have had our share and had to give reasons for a cancellation or an abrupt end to a meeting , again (Time will tell) and we can only relate to you on just over a years worth of experience. Sometimes validations are an acceptable "measuring tool" for reasons only important to what you make of them .. It's usually a sign of a couple that is truly "grounded in their choice of lifestyle" but not always.. There is quite a bit of "growth" to experience and Certs and validations are an "opinionated" facet ... The turn-off is that No one likes to waste or have their time wasted . You also mention that you have a "back up" plan ... Are you making multiple dates as you suggest someone else did ? That may lesson your own credibility.Making several or multple plans is never a good idea (we make One and intend to keep it) anything else is trouble. Our path is simple ; Find friends ..Form a comfortable circle (variety is the spice !) and from time to time do a lil fishing .. But alas .... If we only knew then ...What we have cum to learn Now !!
by MIAMIFISH on December 27, 2012
We never Validate until we meet in person. A couple like us do not want to hang a lot of info. out here, just like any social media site. If anything, we tend to hold information back rather than use fake information. We are upfront in a basic sense until we have spoken or met in person. In our world things caome up due to family or work, but we float that as a possibility when we know it. We have been FLAKED before but work through it and always have another plan.
by EUROMEXCOUPLE on December 26, 2012
We always have a plan B. For a first meeting, we suggest only a quick drink as we have "plans" afterwards. If the meeting goes well, you can always cancel those plans. If not, you have a way out.
Also, we prefer meeting at clubs. If there is no attraction, or a no-show, we can still have fun together. Really, if a couple can not have a great time alone, you have to question your relationship. We are our best FWB.
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