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| WHY SWINGERS SWING |
Has anyone figured out why most swingers start swinging in their forties. I have my own theory about that. I believe that when you're in your twenties and thirties, your mind associates sex as something pleasurable that leads to procreation. Usually people in their twenties and thirties haven't had enough long term relationships to be able to figure out that sex with the same person gets boring after a while, no matter how great that person is in bed, how attractive they are or how much you love that person. I think that when you're in your forties usually your kids are grown up enough that you are able to focus more on your sexuality again with the knowledge or myth that the clock is ticking and your sexual performance years may be diminishing soon. By the time you're in your forties you're better able to appreciate the concept of recreational sex as opposed to relationship sex and you're more prepared to confront your sexual fantasies and make them a reality without worrying about what the rest of society may think about you.
I would like to hear your thought about this. |
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| by USPLUSYOU2 on February 18, 2012 |
Certainly seems to be truth in your comments. We had our first MMF encounter in our early 30s, but then we'd been married for almost ten years by then which means we must have started earlier than most I suppose. I like to say that we're in the advanced class when it comes to our relationship and sex. We know each other as much as a couple could. That awareness helps a lot.
I can see how younger folks might not be able to their heads around a more open sexual encounter with their significant other - we didn't do it (at least not intentionally - we did have an odd same-room experience with friends one night before marriage but it was not planned, though it was very erotic).
As to why we do it?? It's just fuckin fun!
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| by GG49 on February 8, 2012 |
| Been trying to swing since that Playboy at the age of 13...still hoping for my first experience... |
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| by TROPHYCOUPLE on February 7, 2012 |
I think you're right what happens in the life experiences that show up as opportunities in your 40's.
We found that it just depended on when we were exposed to LS partners and it made sense. We just started, though we've been aware and read a lot starting about 5 years ago, but New Year's Eve was our first house party ever and every single weekend since has been with couples or house parties and it's been everything we imagined, including another one this weekend.
We're 60, still healthy and toned, and are having a blast. We've already noticed an age demarcation with a few in our group, but fortunately most of them are just in it for friendship and fun, and I've been with 28 year olds and with 78 year olds at these parties and I wouldn't have thrown any of them away. I certainly can't speak to what we "might" have done at younger ages, I can see that focus on kids and career starts to peak at about 40 or so and suddenly leaves you free to start thinking about yourselves again, though.
But, don't worry your sexual performance years are behind you -- at our first NYE party H was w/ 6 guys and I w/ 4 beauties, so there are ways (even non-pharmaceutical) to keep your capabilities humming. Just starting earlier, in our 40's, would have given us more years to have met these incredible couples and made these incredible friendships. So far, it's all good, so enjoy it whenever it happens, and we don't bemoan lost years; we're just looking forward to all the ones ahead! |
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| by WHYNOTBITE on February 7, 2012 |
Start in late 30s here. Relationship maturity was more of a factor than lifestage for us. And no, it was only very few times that our mind associated sex with procreation, especially in twenties :) |
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| by MSSEXUALCONDUCT on February 7, 2012 |
I started swinging in my early 30s.
Carrie
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| by LADULCEVIDA on February 3, 2012 |
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