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| What Do You All Think of This Sneaky, Sleaze-Ball Behavior |
I don't have a clue as to how common this issue is, but it's bugging me, so I'd like some feedback. Over the past few months I've become aware of some extremely dishonest behavior by someone that wrote to us from a couple profile originally. On his couples' profile with his alleged "wife," they only had a single picture of his (let's call him "C") forearm with a bracelet on his wrist. That's it. He wrote to us, and made the usual noises about not being able to use face pictures due to being "professionals" in the area.
OK...We sent him our private eMail address, and he returned a few pictures of his wife alone, and some with him, that were attractive, but otherwise unremarkable. He began bugging us almost immediately (two hours later) as to what we thought about the pictures, which was slightly annoying, but hardly alarm-bell material. We exchanged phone numbers, and had a rather pleasant initial conversation. We were planning to meet at a local club, but he said that "they couldn't go there anymore" because his wife was allergic to cigarette smoke, and the club is a smoking environment. We decided to try to connect somewhere else, at some other time.
Then about an hour later, I see, by the appearance of their couples' profile photo, that he's posted on Speed Dating, to go THAT NIGHT to that SAME club, where his wife couldn't go--where "you can meet us." This was also odd to me, but perhaps her smoking allergy miraculously went away, or it was something else that caused him to blow us off.
"C" starts texting me constantly, asking when we can all get together. I'm not feeling inspired to meet them anymore, as the dishonesty was a deal-breaker; plus I'm truly busy, so I put him off. Then I notice a Single Guy profile that's online at the same time as their couple profile: often. It's in the next town over, it's for a guy listed as 5 years younger, but it has a main profile photo close-up of the guy's eyes. They're blue-green, identifiable and I recognize them instantly. They belong to the same guy from the earlier contact with the local couple. So now I know he's a lying sack of crap, and my drama detectors go off and I just block him. He writes me some alarmed letter to my personal eMail about "no one ever previously blocked him on SDC." All ego-banter, I ignore him, he goes away after an hour.
I now explain this to the Mrs. and she askes to see who it is. I log in to show her, and--you guessed it: He's blocked us back. This is perfect as far as I'm concerned. Then I notice the profile of the guy whose eyes look just like "C's". I figure that we'll log in, there are 11 photos on his Single Guy profile, and we should be able to tell from the photos that he'd eMailed us if I'm right and it's the same guy. Bingo...he blocked us on THIS PROFILE TOO, even though we'd never had the slightest contact with him on that profile. This is all the proof I need. It's clearly him, or how and why would Mr. Single Guy get the idea to block us for absolutely no reason, when we didn't even know that he existed until we put two and two together. I'm gald that I won't be having the slightest contact frm this lying sack of crap any longer. However, I feel helpless that I can't out this guy in good conscience--we KNOW that there are assholes here, why should our corner of the world have any smaller asshole ratio than any other corner of the world. Yet, part of me just wants to out the asshole to protect people whom he might lie to and manipulate in the future. I know I can't rescue the world, but he's just a reptile and he makes my skin crawl.
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| by FLTWO4FUN on January 31, 2012 |
| You are not the first to be harassed by Bracelet Man; others have complained about him and have blocked him. He has contacted us looking for face photos etc also. He is always on speed dating wanting couples to meet at the 383 Club, if he is a regular at the 383 Club then he must like cigarette smoke and the stale smell of ashtrays which is very prevalent at this club. J & R |
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| by TWO4PLAYD8S on January 31, 2012 |
PLAYFULCPLFL, thanks for taking the time to share your comment with us. We're SO glad to know that you and other folks have their "Shmuck-radar" on also...Bracelet Boy's such an irredeemable piece of lizard slime, that I sensed the aroma of shit around his correspondence from the outset. By the way...he's back on...BOTH profiles, so watch out people.
After I (Russ) told him on the phone that I'd busted him, I told him--point blank--that I'd never let any "sub-human, reptilian, lying shitsack like" him anywhere near my wife under any circumstances. I further informed him that he'd better steer clear of us by a wide berth should we ever end up at the same location accidentally, or that he'd likely need a dentist; moreover, that if I found him near ANY of my friends or acquaintances from SDC (or elsewhere) that I'd out him in the most attention-grabbing means possible at that time and place. I'm guided by an aphorism in life...one of a few: "When people show you whom they are, believe them!" That he's a piece of trash is the only thing that I believe about Bracelet Boy, because he showed me that. I'd never believe one word out of his mouth. |
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| by PLAYFULCPLFL on January 30, 2012 |
Well it didn't take long for the "couples" version of the profile to return on here. I read your blog on the first day that it was posted and it was funny as we knew immediately who it was that you were referring to. And we liked the way in which you showed class and didn't blurt out both profiles names. There is a game afoot with that one to be sure, as several months back we received an email from the "couples" profile referring to our speed date about us being at Club Safari for a hotel Bday party hosted by the Bday girl and her husband,with several other couples and a few singles attending. Their email stated that they were going to be at Safari Club over by the bar in the corner, and could they join our party group. When we asked for profile pics, since his arm with the bracelet was the only one shown, all of a sudden the tone changed and the excuse comes up that the "wife" doesn't play with black guys, and the smoking excuse, and such and no offense, but he doesn't have a problem with it and still wanted to come and hang with us...blah blah blah. It was so strange, as we NEVER did say anything about playing with them or make any sexual comments, or anything, we just simply asked for pics. Anyways, he sent a couple more emails later that day asking again about mingling, and we just never even bothered to respond back, as it was classless, and past the point of the BS meter being able to register the funk coming off of him. |
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| by PLAYFULCPL4U on January 29, 2012 |
First, please allow me to compliment two4playD8s on how well written both your profile and your blog post is. It's refreshing to run across someone who has a grasp of language and communication skills who is a practiced word-smith. In this blog you got your point across without being crass or outing the guy. You handled it in a very classy manner.
Secondly, for us, honesty is very important. Maybe I'm a bit old school, but I believe if you want to fuck my wife you have to earn that privilege. If you can't be trusted to tell us the truth, you can't be trusted to have your hands on her. While we will play on a first meet, we go slow, engage in lots of conversation, and make sure there is a comfort level before we agree to take the friendship to the level of fuckship.
More than once in conversation guys have tripped themselves up. They have said something about their kids, or their wives, or their girlfriends and the evening took a much different turn. We don't have lots of rules, but one firm issue we agree on is that we don't play with half a couple. If someone is in a relationship it's either both or none as far as we're concerned. We have no respect for a liar and cheater who is sneaking around. We can never figure out why guys want to go to the effort to deceive, when most of the time they get found out.
Good for you for your insight and for your handling of the situation. |
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| by TWO4PLAYD8S on January 29, 2012 |
A funny thing happened on the way to the answer...He pulled BOTH of his profiles off of SDC. He must've seen this blog post, and Bracelet Boy/Couple & Mr. Single Sneaky Eyes no longer show up anywhere...including as "friends" of the club-owners of a group in the area where he was always signing up for Speed Dating.
So, TEXAN, you were correct...in the only answer that I got that followed my natural inclination: to let truth alone turn over the rock that he lived under. He's gone for now, but I have a feeling he'll be back in some other incarnation really soon. What nearly everyone who answered contributed: Caution is a good guiding technique, and keeping your eyes and ears open augment it really well in winowing out the creeps.
Thanks to all for hearing me out, and for the time you took in sending your comments.
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| by TEXAN on January 29, 2012 |
| I don't think it would do any good to out this guy. You are quite right that dishonesty is all around us and we need to beware of it. But outing him would probably be inneffective, and would likely make you look like a whiner, even though you are probably not. If someone is a good guy, that eventually gets around and if someone is a bad guy, that too gets around. Warning your friends and other contacts on this site about him would be in order, but I would reccomend against outing him publicly, as it just pits your credibility against his. |
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| by SCOTPRINPRINCES on January 29, 2012 |
| There are devious people everywhere! You have to use common sense when dealing with people in general. We always give people a special phone number to a cell that we only use for the lifestyle. We have a personal email that is only used for the lifestyle only, and not our personal ones. This is how it is. I know it's more work to check the extra phone and emails, but it keeps psychos from getting to us personally. You should report him to the website for abuse! When we first joined this site, we had something similar happen...we finally figured out it was a single guy and luckily we did not send him any of our private pics, etc. Just have to do more screening and be cautious. Good luck! |
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| by IRISHSPANISH on January 29, 2012 |
FYI
most swinging clubs in Holland now have a sectioned off smoking area. Was in one recently and the smoking area was behind doors but....... they left the doors open all night
DOH!
this was right next to the massive jacuzzi and it gave a rather unpleasant smell to be honest. Not very well thought out!
But other places we've been, the smoking area was behind closed doors.
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| by OKCFUNCPL on January 28, 2012 |
| All we can say is that this seems to be quite common lately. We don't give out our phone number until after we have met but other than that we have had similar things happen to us. It has gotten to the point where we don't want to meet new couples but rather just stay with true and tested friends. |
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| by TWO4PLAYD8S on January 28, 2012 |
Yeah, Trapeze is now smoke-free for all those who hate cigarette smoke, and don't like kissing ashtray mouths.
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| by LUST8 on January 28, 2012 |
| Out him as a liar....seems shady...several safety bells ring after reading this one....I'm a single guy on here and I've hung out with others at parties etc..the fact that he is posing as a couple is not only douchie but it brings down the trust level expected from consenting adults on SDC...we don't need anymore of that on here....Singles, couples....I've seen some really shady stuff....has to stop at some point right.... |
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| by GATORANDMISSY on January 28, 2012 |
I would report him for abuse.
I can sorta relate to his douchiness, but only as the inverse. I too (on another adult site) have a single male profile as well as a couples profile. I have clearly stated on my single profile that I am married and that the profile was created because we were separated by distance only. I was on a 6 month contract out of state. Now that we are back together again, I do not use it so much.
Gator
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| by LUVOUR420 on January 28, 2012 |
| Sounds like a class A Douche. So is there a such thing as a Non Smoking club anywhere? |
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