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We have found this site very good for talking but very frustrating for meeting, we are good looking and fun, looking to meet on the 7th July, we have advertised for meets in the past but have never had any response, is there something wrong with us? Answers on a post card please xx |
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| by LEEDSJAMES on July 4, 2012 |
Echoing the comments below, clearly you're profile is splendid and you're real genuine folks, but for some reason, members on here find it tricky to take that leap of faith and set up a meeting with others (perhaps who they don't know).
Personally, I find club meets (Chameleons/ Partners/ Xt etc) are more approriate, and in such an environment you can have a chat over a drink to test the water.
Good luck and keep trying. |
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| by COUPLEFORFUN19 on June 28, 2012 |
| We have been active in the lifestyle for a number of years now and we still learn new things everyday. We try a combination of approaches including posting for "dates", attending organized parties, attending house parties, attending swinger clubs, and holding our own house parties. We have had some level of success with all of these methods of meeting couples. Each method has their advantages and disadvantages (too many for this blog), but the point is we try a variety of approaches and then attempt to maintain long term relationships with those we find compatable. When i was a young man i thought that if i asked 10 ladies out for a date and i was turned down 90% of the time then i was rejected, later i realized that if you are being turned down 9 times in ten if you ask 10 girls out for saturday night you would have a date! |
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| by MOJO911 on June 27, 2012 |
The beauty of the lifestyle is that you never know what type of night u will end up
having. You and partner may go to a club or party and not make a connection all night but
still have a good time. Maybe meet someone you like but not end up having sex but u both had fun anyways. Maybe u find someone that u do have sex with but it was just ok but u had fun anyways . And of course there are those hot, erotic novel,off the charts delicious sex u find every once in a while.
What's important is that either way you n ur mate had a good time together as a team....
And as to why people don't show up or cancel last minute ???
We are still searching for the answer, keep ya posted.......
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| by MARCCHARLOT on June 22, 2012 |
Like the others have said, there's nothing wrong with you, your pics are quite sexy and you are obviouslyt attractive.
We have been playing this game for 10 years now and we are no experts, often falling flat on our faces, but here's our 2p worth:
- your text gives very little flavour about your characters and people will be unsure about whether you will have anything in common. Our text is far from perfect, but it tries to give a flavour of our characters
- I think the profile text should describe some of your fantasies or sexual preferences if you want to hit other people's buttons. Our biggest mistake in the early days was being too generic with our sexual desires so that we didn't alienate some people, but this was counter-productive as we got very few approaches and those we got weren't into the same things as us
- you need to be active, only about 20% of our meets have been initiated by an approach from someone else. We think of our profile as something someone reads after we have approached them. Most people are in the same boat as you and are passive and somewhat shy.
- learn to cope with rejection again. Most swinging couples have a stable relationship which means that they have been together for a while. That means that they have been off the dating scene for a few years and their ability to cope with sexual rejection is much reduced. It can feel brutal, no matter how nicely it's done. Once you have rebuilt a coping mechanism together then you will feel more confident about approaching other people and your "hit rate" will increase
As I say, we're no experts, but hope there's something in here that helps.
M&C xxx
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| by LEBOVIER2 on June 20, 2012 |
There's nothing wrong with you it's actually how it is.
When we joined this site in 2004 you could go into a chatroom, start a conversation with a couple you had never met and in 45 minutes be getting ready to meet them. There could be 300 plus members in a chatroom, now there may be at best 70 on a busy night.
The swinging scene is diluted by social commercial events which are so "no pressure" that nothing ever happens. Its very easy to create a profile, load some pics, put yourself on a guest list and call yourself a "swinger" . Some people use "hardcore" and "full on" as best, criticism, at worst insults.
Think that what many people might think of as swinging is as "underground" as it was 25 years ago.
So there's nothing wrong with you. |
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| by PLAY4BI on June 20, 2012 |
| FUNSFLCOUPLE you had me scratching my head with your comment about the friends, you read real quick and it looks like that but its not, they have 8 friends but there screen name is 20381 so that number is their screen name not their amount of friends. LOL |
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| by FUNSFLCOUPLE on June 19, 2012 |
We have the same frustrations but it isn't form the site for us... it's us.
We have a kid and both of us have brothers and sisters and family... . so we ALWAYS want to go play but only get out about 10 times a year... totally sucks but we talk to ALTO of people and sometimes when we get time out that couple will be unavailable... so it's like we have to wait another 6 weeks to try again... it can be 3 to 6 months before the stars up.
ALSO, it has to do with the number of members in your region. I have heard some parts of the US it is better to be on another site ... but where we are, Florida, this site is the best.
But I have to say it must be you... lol sorry but you have over 20K friends!!!??? Are you kidding?!! really in less than 3 years you have 20K friends on here? THere must be a computer error...
Is it possible on interaction is a fetish and distracts from in person action?
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