I commend you in doing what you did and you did the right thing. Your best bet is stay away I have tried in your situation to sit with the husband and tell him what is going on and that did not go so well. He probably already knows how she is and is dealing with it by making the soft swap rule. At the end they have no business in the lifestyle as a couple and the problem falls on both their laps. You got into this for your enjoyment with your wife and do not need this drama as to really help them becomes a project. If they were good friends then maybe but at this point move on.