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       Posted by KINDREDSPIRITS Posted May 27, 2008 View Comments 1      
Boundaries and Respect in the Lifestyle
Last month we had a "newbie" couple, whom we had played with on several occasion (soft swap only) over to our home and she and I (Mr.) were playing in the pool.  We ended up with me backed against the wall and her straddling me.  Long story short, she attempted insertion on a number of occasions.  My responses ranged from "you are being bad" to "no protection, no sex" to "that is against your own rules and could cause a lot of drama"... and exited the pool.  Her responses are what has been troubling me.  One was to keep it secret.  Another was to claim the I was so drunk... which I pointed out did not do much since SHE was the one on top and SHE was the one attempting it.  On protection, she was sure that she was fine and was her that should worry about me.  When asked why they are soft if intercourse is what she wants, she said she wanted to, but he didn't.

It all seems very disrespectful of herself, her relationship and my relationship. 

I think I am going to have a phone conversation with her to this effect and try to explain to her the trouble she is going to cause herself and her relationship, as well as how the majority of experienced lifestyle people may not receive such action as well as I did.  It would that it could have been very easy for the evening to completely explode into drama filled chaos if I had brought this to our partners' attentions in the moment.  I did not, but spoke with my partner about it the next day.  I believe I will leave her relationship to her and not address this with her husband, unless such actions and disrespect occur again.

Thoughts?


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