# Swingers Q&A

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Do you have [questions about swinging](https://www.sdc.com/swinging-101/), relationships, and sexuality? We have answers! Get advice about popular topics like the swinger lifestyle, [hotwifing](https://www.sdc.com/hotwifing-hotwife-how-to-guide/), open relationships, sexual health tips, and more from our team of experts. Check out our Q&A section below for some recent and popular questions, or ask us your own!

## Do you guys have advice for single guys on this site? I'm worried about saying the wrong thing and looking like a scammer or something. I don't have any nudes on the dating site because I feel that will make me look desperate. Any advice will help.

We've created an in-depth article with you in mind! Single men can absolutely thrive in the swinging lifestyle when you understand the social qualities and erotic etiquette that make flirting and play feel natural. Some swinging couples and single women love a man who exudes confidence, understands sensuality, and can be respectful to both partners without being too forward.

The right approach can allow a single guy to shine in the swinging lifestyle. The following tips help build genuine connections, attract compatible partners, and enjoy experiences that feel organic and sexy rather than tense or transactional. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/single/10-swinging-tips-for-single-men-in-the-lifestyle/)

## What advice do you have for new swingers who've never been to a lifestyle house party? And how do we host one?

Whether you're a newbie looking for guidance or an experienced couple needing a push to host your own party, this episode has you covered. From understanding party themes to respecting house rules and consent, Jason shares the unspoken etiquette that ensures a great time and future invitations. [LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/how-to-navigate-lifestyle-house-parties-tips-and-etiquette)

## What is the difference between hotwifing and swinging?

The multitude of labels in "the Lifestyle" can often become confusing, especially to new explorers. To add to the complexity, as with all language, the meaning of some labels evolves over time, leaving even those experienced in the Lifestyle scratching their heads. The word Hotwife seems to be one of those labels! It is used in a variety of contexts, but what does it really mean? Is there an overlap between hotwifing and swinging, or are they totally separate activities? Let's explore these questions... [READ MORE](https://www.sdc.com/hotwife/hotwifing-and-swinging-are-they-the-same-thing)

## Are swingers actually body-positive? I'm self-conscious because I see so many fit couples in the lifestyle.

You're not alone in feeling this way, but rest assured that people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and orientations enjoy the lifestyle! We actually have an episode wherein we celebrate the empowering concept of body positivity within the swinging lifestyle. Join us as we explore how individuals and couples embrace their bodies in the context of consensual non-monogamy. We delve into the importance of self-confidence and acceptance in enhancing swinging experiences, fostering a supportive environment where all bodies are celebrated and respected. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/embracing-every-curve-body-positivity-in-the-lifestyle/)

## What if I want to swing but I have a small dick? How can I deal with my wife making noises and moaning very differently with someone who has bigger penis than mine?

One of the most common questions and concerns is whether size matters, so rest assured that you're not alone. That said, does size really matter? And are her reactions all about size, or is it more about the experience of someone new? I explore more about this - for both penises and vaginas - in this episode of my podcast: [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/sexual/does-size-matter/)

## How do I reject someone?

How to reject others is a very popular question because if we aren't expected to have sex with anyone and everyone (whew!), how do we actually say no thank you? Well, it can be that simple. "We are flattered, but no thank you." We are flattered, but we are not interested in playing." "You guys are great, but we are more interested in friendship than playing." All great lines. I wish I had used one of those my first time saying no. Here's how mine went. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/couple/the-first-time-i-said-no/)

## Do you have any advice for going on our first date as swingers?

Dating in the lifestyle has its own dynamics and differs from conventional dating. I cover all the practical tips, including using code words, spotting red flags, and having fun in [THIS EPISODE OF MY PODCAST](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/how-to-go-on-a-swinger-date/).

## How do I deal with no longer being attracted to my partner?

One of the most common questions among swingers and couples of all types is, what do you do when you're no longer attracted to your partner? In this episode, I discuss why and how it happens and what to do about it. [LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/couple/when-you-no-longer-find-your-partner-attractive/)

## How do we deal with people being so judgmental of swinging?

Living openly in our ethically non-monogamous relationship has been fun, rewarding, and exciting. As you would imagine, it has also come at the cost of some relationships (family and "friends"), and we've endured some pretty harsh judgment, toxic comments, and vile rumors along the way. We knew when we decided to live transparently, inevitably, there would be those that don't see eye to eye with us. Nevertheless, we had to overcome this animal in order to effectively continue sharing our perspective unhindered. I'd like to share my thoughts on dealing with judgment and some of the ways we've overcome this hurdle. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/open/dealing-with-judgment/)

## How do we deal with ghosting?

Can we all agree that ghosting sucks and is rude, but it is a part of life now? Join me as we explore how to deal with ghosting when it happens to us and alternatives we can use if we feel the need to ghost someone. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/mental/the-dark-side-of-ghosting-in-the-swinger-lifestyle/)

## Are there things we should watch out for as we open our relationship for the first time? We've both only ever been in monogamous relationships before.

Yes! I have a six-part video series here on SDC that discusses several incompatibilities to consider and work through as you transition into ethical non-monogamy. In Part 1, I talk about **Exclusive Commitment**. [WATCH IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/open/6-monogamous-characteristics-incompatible-with-enm-part-1/)

## Do you have any advice about swinger breakups?

Just because you are in the lifestyle or an alternative style relationship doesn't mean that you aren't going to feel the pain and distress as if you were a lovesick teenager. These feelings are real, the pain and disappointment are real, and you deserve the space, support, and time to grieve the relationship you recently lost. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/mental/surviving-a-breakup-in-the-lifestyle/)

## How can I find more places to go with my swinger friends who will actually let us play without judgment?

We all deserve to stay in nice places where the hosts are welcoming and open-minded. Whether you are looking to rent a romantic cottage, a (play)room, a tantra garden, a yacht, or a dungeon, or have just been thinking about it, you are most welcome to join this thriving platform that has been in business for almost 25 years. SDC BNB - a brand-new service added to the SDC.com website and app - is meant to connect all these oft-hidden sexy spaces with its members - free of charge! [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/are-you-seeking-sexy-bnbs/)

## Do swingers have common deal-breakers that we should know about?

From ethical boundaries to sexual preferences, they explore the multifaceted world of deal breakers, discussing how open communication, respect, and consent play crucial roles in maintaining a healthy and enjoyable swinging dynamic. Tune in to The Swing Nation Podcast and get ready for an informative and captivating deep dive into this essential aspect of the swingers' lifestyle. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/a-deep-dive-into-deal-breakers-in-the-swingers-lifestyle/)

## I'm an older woman who is plus-sized. Will I fit in?

Yes! The lifestyle is full of all shapes, sizes, and ages. It can be challenging to overcome a lifetime of conflicting messages about how we "should" feel about our bodies. In this episode of my podcast, I share some proven ways to change how you think and speak about your body so that you can be a healthier and happier person - in and outside of the lifestyle. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/mental/changing-the-way-you-think-and-speak-about-your-body/)

## How can I get better at telling people at the club that I'm not interested?

Lots of people worry about how to effectively say no to advances by others without burning bridges or being rude. Saying no isn't easy if you are prone to people-pleasing, but you can feel empowered to say no respectfully and mean it. [LEARN HOW HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/general/how-to-say-no-at-a-sex-club-respectfully/)

## How do I become a Bull for a Hotwife?

Tabitha Beaumont shares everything you need to know in this in-depth guide to being a better Bull! She covers the how, the what, and the who of recreational sex with a Hotwife. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/hotwife/be-the-better-bull/)

## What is a swinger unicorn?

Single women in the sex-positive and swinger lifestyle are known as "unicorns" because they are so mythically rare to find, let alone land for a threesome. Single men are not as rare in the lifestyle and, thus, are mostly known as "bulls." In this video, I explain more about these labels and roles. [WATCH IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/threesomes/what-is-a-swinger-unicorn/)

## What should I do if my partner and I want different things from the lifestyle?

It's common for each person in a couple to have differing values and expectations from their swinging and other open dynamics. In this quick video, SDC Social Media Director Julieta answers this Swinger Q&A commenter's question about what to do when, say, one person wants to go out on their own, but the other partner just wants to swap couples. [WATCH IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/how-do-you-deal-with-different-swinging-expectations/)

## What can I do to feel better about my body? I feel really self-conscious, especially when we're at the swingers' club.

The open lifestyle has a tendency to intimidate people who are new to presenting their bodies to others outside of their primary relationship. The way we So, how can you start to rewrite your self-talk body narrative? I discuss it in my podcast! [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/mental/changing-the-way-you-think-and-speak-about-your-body/)

## If someone wants to be a swinger but isn't in a couple, can they still swing?

Whether you are entering the lifestyle as a single or have been swinging for a while and are freshly solo, rest assured that you can still swing! In this social media Q&A, I answer a commenter's question about whether or not the swinging lifestyle is exclusive to couples and provides some encouraging insight. [WATCH IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/is-swinging-exclusive-to-couples/)

## Do you have any advice for going to a swingers' club?

As a relationship, sex, and open lifestyle coach, I've helped many couples and singles overcome their fear or nervousness about attending a swingers club and discover how to navigate slowly and safely, at their own speed, and while respecting their personal and relationship boundaries. I've enjoyed the erotic excitement of the open lifestyle as both a unicorn (single female-identified person) and as a couple, and both seen and experienced firsthand the ways in which swingers club experiences can go wrong, especially for newbies to the lifestyle. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/23-things-to-know-before-going-to-a-swingers-or-sex-club/)

## How can we tell if we're breaking any unspoken swinger rules?

We hear you! Many people are exploring relationships outside of traditional monogamous partnerships, but navigating these new dynamics can be tricky. We discuss some etiquette and best practices to help guide your journey. Whether you're curious about non-monogamy or already have experience, this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast will surely provide valuable insights and advice! [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/lifestyle-education-swinger-lifestyle-etiquette/)

## Which is more intimate: sleeping together or oral sex?

This is not a question that comes up too much amongst monogamous individuals, but if you are in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and you have a new partner, how does your initial partner feel about you having sleepovers? Sleeping together can involve physical closeness and vulnerability, as well as the potential for emotional intimacy through sharing space and time together. Oral sex, on the other hand, involves a more explicit and focused form of physical intimacy. [WATCH MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/open/which-is-more-intimate-sleeping-together-or-oral-sex)

## Many times, not all four people are compatible, so we've been going to parties because we can both get what we want. Are we doing something wrong, or is this normal?

You're definitely not doing anything wrong! Compatibility is never guaranteed, and many couples use separate room play to enjoy the lifestyle. In a recent episode of our Swinger University podcast, we discuss how we've considered leveling up our own swapping into separate room play. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/couple/are-you-ready-for-separate-room-play/)

## Non-monogamy is so intriguing, but how do I know if I have what it takes to join the open lifestyle?

When people become interested in non-monogamy, swinging, or lifestyle clubs or parties, some are concerned about what they need to be in the lifestyle. I'm here to tell you what that is; the answer might surprise you. When people are looking at swinging from the outside, what they most likely see is a lot of sex. If they don't actually see it, they imagine it - in fantastic detail. It's why many (most?) people are attracted to ENM, swinging, or the lifestyle in the first place: more sex, sexual variety, and sexual adventure. Fair. According to one academic report ... [READ MORE HERE](https://www.sdc.com/couple/what-you-need-to-be-non-monogamous/)

## How do I talk to my partner about swinging?

If you want to start your lifestyle journey but don't know how to talk to your partner about it, we have the right podcast episode for you! Everything you need to know, from gauging your partner's interest to how to discuss fantasies and what it means to set boundaries, is in this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/lifestyle-education-talking-to-your-partner-about-swinging)

## What do we need to know before we visit our first swingers club?

So, you and your partner are interested in going to a Swingers Club. Well, we happen to have a video for you! Watch along as we give you 5 of our best tips to make sure you have a great time at the club! [WATCH IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/5-tips-for-the-best-time-at-the-swingers-club-part-1/)

## Is there a guide or something to the lifestyle? We don't know where to start.

Couples like you have choices about how to live their lives together. It **is** possible to be passionate lovers, best friends, enjoy erotic experiences together, and live consistent with your highest values *if* you design a conscious relationship based on mutual trust and respect. Since you're reading this here on SDC, you've likely caught a glimpse of what this looks like in the open, swinging lifestyle. You both might find helpful the series entitled "*Smart Erotica: The Modern Couple's Playbook,*" which offers a practical blueprint for how to protect your relationship while you are spicing it up in the uncharted world of erotic intimacy. [READ MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/couple/smart-erotica-modern-couples-playbook/)

## One of my vanilla friends keeps asking me about the lifestyle, but I don't know how to describe it in a way that he'll understand.

Alternative lifestyles like swinging are misinterpreted and even vilified by many monogamous people. It can be hard to get through to them in a meaningful way that leaves everyone feeling understood and respected. Not everyone can wrap their heads around the concept of non-monogamy, but we can certainly try to help explain it! [WATCH MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/explaining-non-monogamy-to-monogamous-people/)

## We've been to the local club a few times, but we tend to feel shut out by the regulars. What can we do?

Like any subculture, there will always be cliques. But that doesn't mean we can't overcome them! In one of our recent episodes of The Swing Nation Podcast, we talk about cliques in the lifestyle - how to identify them, ways to address them, and things you can do to ensure your group doesn't contribute to this stigma. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/lifestyle-education-is-the-lifestyle-cliquey/)

## I keep seeing people talk about "hotwifing" but I have no idea what that is.

It's a common question in the lifestyle! Does it mean that you have to be a married, smoldering hot woman to be a hotwife? What are hotwifing relationships really all about? Check out our [complete guide to hotwifing](https://www.sdc.com/hotwifing-hotwife-how-to-guide/) and discover if hotwifing is right for you!

## How can I find a hotel for swingers?

Regardless of where you are in the world, there are places to meet up - and more - with your swinger dates! [We've curated a list of lifestyle-friendly hotels, clubs, and businesses right here on our website](https://www.sdc.com/biz/). Click or press "TYPE" to sort the list, and look for "Lodging" to find your next sexy stay. Happy travels!

## How can I help my wife feel more confident and as sexy as I think she is?

We get it - scroll through swinger profiles, and it's mostly filled with a... specific aesthetic. But trust us when we say that lifestylers come in all shapes and sizes! In this episode of our 4OURPLAY podcast, we answer listener questions about jealousy, body image, and confidence in the swinging lifestyle. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/jealousy-body-image-and-confidence-4ourplay-podcast-ep-28/)

## I'm single and always wanna get into this lifestyle but don't know how.

Solo guys in the lifestyle are often met with several barriers and challenges. From how to respectfully approach couples and navigate play sessions to making the perfect online profile, we have suggestions for you. If you are a single male in the swinger lifestyle, this is the episode you don't want to miss! Hear all about these things and more in [this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/lifestyle-education-advice-for-the-single-male/).

## We're interested in opening up our relationship, but how do we know if we're ready?

Swinging, just like any other form of relationship, takes dedication, and yeah, work! When couples embark on their swinging journey, they naturally come upon a variety of stumbling blocks. Often, as expressed in many of my coaching sessions for non-monogamous couples, they never anticipated the level of communication, trust, and honesty required to make a swinging relationship work. So, for you folks interested in opening up your relationship, the question is: what do you really know about the swinging lifestyle? [LISTEN TO MORE HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/the-swinging-lifestyle-opening-up/)

## One of my play partners recently pulled my hair during doggy style, and I would love to know more about why I thought it was so hot! 

It's no secret that different sensations can turn us on, even if they are traditionally considered painful. While someone pulling my hair in broad daylight would really hurt me, it somehow manages to be a staple in my BDSM activities. Combined with a stream of endorphins from sexual activity, hair pulling - if done right - is really hot. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/bdsm/bdsm-101-hair-pulling/)

## Do you have any advice on how to find a unicorn?

Ah, the elusive unicorn! Within the realm of ethical non-monogamy, unicorns are the rarest and most sought-after species. To guide you on your quest for a unicorn, here are some basic mistakes that couples tend to make and how you can steer clear of them to maximize your success. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/open/unicorn-hunting-5-common-mistakes-and-how-to-avoid-them)

## Our first-ever lifestyle play date is coming up! Do you have any advice for us?

Dating as a single person is one thing, but courting play partners as swingers comes with its own set of expectations and practices. In the third episode of our podcast, we discuss how to prepare for a play date and what to expect during and after the date with a swinging couple. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/its-your-first-play-date-and-its-time-to-swing)

## We love being non-monogamous, but there's one partner who isn't the right fit for our dynamic. How do we break up with them?

In the last decade, there has been a growing number of people choosing ethical non-monogamy (the Lifestyle). There are many resources available to learn how to enter, navigate, and maintain these alternative relationships, including the one you're on right now. But once you're in, is there a healthy way out? Once you open your relationship and bring in others, can that door ever be closed in a healthy way that does not destroy all of your romantic relationships and leave you alone? [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/open/closing-a-relationship)

## I feel like I'm ready to dive into swinging, but my partner isn't so sure. How can I bring them to my level? 

If either of you is having doubts about sharing yourself or your partner sexually with others, and you weigh on the "nope" side more than the "hell yeah" side, then you need to pull back and evaluate what gravitated you toward the lifestyle to begin with. Meaning if you're not ready, then that's OK... - [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/this-type-of-sex-is-not-for-everyone/)

## What do we wear to a swingers' club? Should we bring anything?

If you're new to the lifestyle, it can be intimidating and confusing when trying to determine how to present yourselves. Also, how do we know what's worth bringing with us into the club? In this episode, we discuss club attire, etiquette, and ways to be prepared for fun! [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/what-to-wear-to-a-swingers-club-and-things-to-bring-with-you)

## We're newbies and want to experiment, but we're nervous about messing things up. What should we do?

A while back I found myself flirting with some Canadian friends, newbies to swing. We talked about the possibility of a playdate somewhere mid-way between us ('round middle of Michigan). They were understandably nervous, as it would be their first time doing anything, and I stumbled across an idea of how to look at the possibility of sexual activity on our weekend: The Safe Zone. In The Safe Zone, they can try things they're nervous about trying without repercussions afterward. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/the-safe-zone-giving-yourself-permission-to-screw-up/)

## Are there some basic swinging rules for newbies to follow?

If you struggle with navigating the lifestyle, these five rules will help you on your swinging journey - whether you're just starting out or have been open for years. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/the-five-rules-of-swinging)

## How can we get better at sexting?

Sexting can achieve various goals, including riling up your lover (AND yourself!) as foreplay before you see them, staying connected when you're apart, spicing up your relationship, and sharing fantasies you may be too shy to vocalize directly when you're right in front of your partner. Also, it's just a HELL of a lot of filthy fun! If you're shy or you've never sent a sexy message before, here are some tips to inspire you to get nasssssty. Consider this Lexi's Guide to Sexting![READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/sex/foreplay/sexting-for-newbies-how-to-melt-your-lovers-phone/)

## My husband and I get into arguments; are we still cut out for swinging?

Conflict is NOT BAD, should not be avoided, and IS inevitable in every relationship. Conflict is growth seeking to happen in the form of an unmet need trying to express itself. The problem is most don't know that nor how to communicate in ways that can get those needs met. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/couple/conflict-vs-fighting-in-swinger-relationship/)

## What should we know before we try to have our first threesome?

Sure, the idea of having a threesome might seem simple and straightforward, but there are a few things you really need to consider when you're planning on embarking on the adventure. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/sex/threesomes/three-things-to-consider-about-having-a-threesome/)

## How do I bring up my cuckolding fantasies to my wife?

Sharing your sexual fantasies with your partner can be a scary thing to do, especially if those fantasies involve "outside of the norm" kinds of themes. For a lot of people, the fear of being harshly judged or rejected by their partner is enough to keep those fantasies buried deep in the closet. This is what has inspired me to share my tips on how to approach her in a way that will hopefully make things go well. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/cuckold/how-to-talk-to-your-wife-about-your-cuckolding-fantasies)

## We hear that swingers can't catch feelings. How do we avoid falling in love in the lifestyle?

In this episode of our podcast, we break down how to separate emotions from swinging and avoid developing romantic feelings for the people you play with in the lifestyle. We also talk about the differences between being a Swinger, Polyamorous, and being in an open relationship. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/how-to-avoid-falling-in-love-in-the-lifestyle/)

## My Bull pulled my hair during a recent hotwifing date, and it was SO HOT! Does this mean that I'm kinky?!

YES! You might be submissive! Sometimes, playing the role of a hotwife can bring out other sides of your sexuality and pleasure that you didn't even know were lurking under the surface. Hair pulling was actually my foray into BDSM, too. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/bdsm/bdsm-101-discovering-submission/)

## What's the best way to find new playmates?

In this episode, we discuss different websites and various events to attend to meet new playmates. We also discuss how to navigate SDC and etiquette on how to send an introduction in the app. [LISTEN TO IT HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/finding-playmates-with-sdc-and-more/)

## How can we hide our new sex swing?

So, you've done it! You've purchased a sex swing! Most people don't give it much of a thought when purchasing the swing, but in order to make sure no one crashes to the ground and hurts themselves, you're going to want to put a big ole eye hook in a beam in your ceiling. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/sex-toys/how-to-hide-a-sex-swing/)

## Can friends be sexual with each other?

Sometimes, curiosity gets the best of us. If you're ready to break the ice with sexy friends, [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/playing-with-friends/)

## What are nudists, and do we have to be nudists to join the lifestyle?

What are nudists, and do we have to be nudists to join the lifestyle?

The definition of a nudist is a person who believes in the practice of going nude, especially in non-sexual social settings and as a part of a conscious choice of lifestyle. In this episode of the Pure Orgasmic Love podcast, we discuss living a nudist lifestyle, how nudism is perceived, and how nudism is NOT a sexual lifestyle. [LISTEN HERE...](https://www.sdc.com/health/sexual/pure-orgasmic-love-8)

## Is it true that swingers are just horny hippies looking for sex?

On an SDC cruise, Dr. Jay noticed that there was a number of people all of his clinical professors would have certified as totally "normal" in terms of demographics, socioeconomic status, level of functionality, and absence of any overt pathology. If he didn't see a few naked people, he would not have noticed anything unique about most of the people on this cruise - they seemed quite "normal." [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/myths-about-swingers-oversexed/)

## What are some red flags to watch for in the lifestyle?

These are things that might pop up that should be a warning sign that something is not OK. We give key insight on how to identify fakes, flakes, and drama couples in the lifestyle and ways to avoid them. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/swinger-red-flags/)

## Are there any secret signs that identify someone as a swinger?

It would be nice if there were some clear signs to let everyone know! Like any good secret society, there are plenty of myths surrounding the "secret signs" of swinging, so SDC.com is here to let you in on a few of the urban legends surrounding swinging. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/swingers/secret-signs-of-being-a-swinger-revealed/)

## How can we take better pictures for our dating profile?

Finding how to take the perfect photos of yourself will take plenty of trial and error, but for a good cause. Once you find your angles, your ideal lighting, and the shots you enjoy taking most: You will be taking nudes all the time. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/exhibition-voyeur/the-in-depth-nude-guide-phone-camera-edition/)

## Question 1 - What is Lorem Ipsum

Answer 1 - Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.

## Question 3 - Why do we use it?

Answer 3 - It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using 'Content here, content here', making it look like readable English.

## Question 4 - Where can I get some?

Answer 4 - There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don't look even slightly believable. If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn't anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text.

## Swinger parties seem like so much fun, but we're worried about getting caught up in drama in our local Lifestyle scene. How do we avoid drama?

Drama in the Lifestyle can ensue when people don't know what they don't know. Often, they've already stumbled out of the gate and realized that their enjoyment and sexual engagement with others in the Lifestyle requires a lot more communication skills than they're used to. There is a lot at stake for couples: emotional intimacy, assets, family, and friends. READ MORE...

## How do we know when we're ready to explore open relationships?

The erotic lifestyle can be a spiritual gift that takes your relationship to new depths of emotional and psychological connection as we reveal core aspects of ourselves through the language of sexuality. Mutual consent, unconventionality, organic, raw, spontaneity, creativity, imagination, and fantasy - all good. Awesome, right? Yes ... AND ... Here's what's also true, but often not respected as much as it needs to be: [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/relationship/couple/smart-erotica-modern-couples-playbook/)

## What are some questions we can ask a new couple to help determine if they're a good fit for us?

Hooray, you have made it to the point of meeting a new couple and are ready to see where things go! Assuming you've exchanged pleasantries on the basics, what does your quality time together consist of, or how do you make sure you are on the same page? [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/swinger/questions-to-ask-a-new-couple/)

## Should we be using condoms during blowjobs at play parties?

Does a blowjob while wearing a condom suck a little bit? There's a certain amount of awesome inherent in a blowjob. Does a condom reduce it? Yeah, a little. Does a dental dam detract from the glory that is pussy licking? Yeah, for both parties, a little. Does it keep you from getting diseases that may literally kill you? Yeah, a lot. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/sex/oral/should-you-use-condoms-for-blowjobs/)

## Is there a right way to have casual sex in the lifestyle?

Most people have experienced casual sex in one form or another. Whether it's a one-night stand or dating possibility, most of us engage in casual sex for a variety of reasons. If you've thought about having casual sex, but just don't know how it will affect you and your sexual future... [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/fetish/casual-sex-info/)

## What is hotwifing, and do you need to be married to do it?

In a Twitter poll, some people took to identifying what was hot and others took to identifying what a wife was. Welcome to the subjective area, folks - hold on tight, because this one could get bumpy. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/kink/hotwife/do-you-need-to-be-hot-and-a-wife-to-be-a-hotwife/)

## What should we do if my husband loses his hard-on during sex with other people?

Let's face it: Our bodies don't always cooperate with us. For men whose erections disappear at an inopportune time, the stress and discomfort can be overwhelming; but it doesn't have to be. [READ MORE...](https://www.sdc.com/health/sexual/what-to-do-when-he-loses-his-erection/)