Last Longer in Bed: The Stop-Start Method
Dr. Jess     
Learning to control your orgasm (for both men and women) is not only empowering, but can deepen sexual and orgasmic response.

In my private practice, I receive many inquiries from men asking for advice on how to last longer in bed. And though most women I talk to aren't looking for marathon-length sessions, we do appreciate the option to take our time and enjoy the experience. Learning to control your orgasm (for both men and women) is not only empowering, but can deepen sexual and orgasmic response. This is the first in a three-part mini series on making sex last longer.


Stop Here for Better Orgasms


The Stop-Start Method is a simple, sensual and orgasm-intensifying approach to lasting longer in bed. It simply entails doing whatever you love to do and stopping just before the point-of-no-return (or the point of ejaculatory inevitability for men). You don't have to stop stimulating your partner or yourself, but do stop performing the particular activity that makes you feel like cumming.

For example, if you're having penetrative intercourse, pull out (or have your partner pull out) and engage in some breast play, oral sex, dirty talk, manual sex, anal play, kissing, erotic massage or anything else you can come up with until the urge to ejaculate or orgasm subsides. Repeat as many times as you like until you feel ready for that long-awaiting climax. You'll likely find that the build-up intensifies your response and you may experience heightened sensations as a reward for your patience.




This method is actually one component of orgasm-intensification programs that sexologists use to help clients improve their sex lives. It can be enjoyed alone, in pairs, in groups and by men and women alike. Have fun, experiment, practice safer sex and don't set a timer to gauge your success, as this pressure will only detract from the pleasure of the experience. It may take several tries to identify your point-of-no-return so take time to enjoy both the practice and the results!

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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