Test Your Sex IQ: R.A.C.K.
Dr. Jess     
Have you taken the time to discuss the concept of R.A.C.K with your lover(s)?

You’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey, taken a few good sex workshops and experimented with blindfolds, restraints and hot wax. But have you taken the time to discuss the concept of R.A.C.K with your lover(s)? If so, we’d love to hear your thoughts. If not, please read through this non-exhaustive explanation and consider talking to your partner(s) about what kinky sex means to you.

The following is an excerpt from my new book, The Little Book of Kink:


R.A.C.K.


R.A.C.K. stands for Risk-Aware, Consensual Kink and this basic phrase outlines two of the essential components of kink while recognizing that there is some risk inherent to all sex play.

For kinky sex to be considered risk-aware, all parties involved must understand and acknowledge the potential negative outcomes of the proposed activity. These risks are ideally discussed ahead of time -- not in the heat of the moment when sexual tension is already building. It is important to address the measures you plan to take to minimize risk when your mind is clear and your judgment isn’t clouded by desire or other distractions.


Consent is No.1


To be considered consensual, all parties involved must be capable of expressing their explicit and informed consent. The absence of protestation does not amount to consent and the clearest way to secure consent is to ask. Similarly, the most straightforward way to provide consent is to offer an enthusiastic and genuine “Yes!”.

Consent is a cornerstone of all kinky activities and you should ask for consent every single time you play with a partner. Do not assume that because a lover wanted to be tied up and rough-handled last Saturday night, that they also want to be bound and spanked next Thursday morning. You always have the right to withdraw your consent at any time without explanation regardless of what you may have agreed upon in the past.




Have fun, get consent, and remember to always practice safer sex!

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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