8 Ways to Help Your Relationship Last

A recent study revealed the average long-term relationship these days doesn’t stretch past four years. But, what happens when you want your relationship to last longer than that? Well, in this episode of Sex Because with Charlie and Arienne they’re offering up eight excellent ways to help your coupledom last.

[00:00:07] spk_0: Tyler you’re charlie and arian with sex because and you want your relationship to last eight

[00:00:13] spk_1: eight ways thinking highly of your partner would be a good way to start all right you don’t think highly of the person you’re with can’t just turn off the phone

[00:00:21] spk_0: see easy right

[00:00:23] spk_1: yeah sometimes that something let’s let’s be fair there going every day you’re with your partner especially in a long term relationship you’re not going to think highly of that person you were singing what how long was the average relationship

[00:00:36] spk_0: there’s a recent study that showed that the average relationship now is four years

[00:00:40] spk_1: my information bank right here four years that’s a long term relationship okay but okay let’s say you want to go for more than four years at some things like distant distance maybe when you look at when i talk about distance let’s say you work together like we do it’s okay to go take a break and even go in the next room and text each other and do things like that take some time away from each other or to communicate it’s amazing how you communicate with with your person or persons when you are outside of being right in their face ok you’re out when you’re outside of the house or outside of where you typically or go somewhere else and enjoy communicating with them on talking to them about things that are on your mind a difficult conversation it’s funny i see, enjoy, let’s, say, you’re arguing about something, too. Sometimes devon in the other room and texting about it. I’m not a social media guy, i’m not, you know, we’ve had to be this way because of media, but i like to post up things about you and me, and, you know, kind of go from there, but it’s okay to sometimes, just that they’re in text each other and say, hey, look, i’m feeling this

[00:01:45] spk_0: way, all right, engaging hobbies and challenging activities together. Yeah, it promotes teamwork and encouraging use to learn how to use your complimentary

[00:02:00] spk_1: with the compliments. Yeah, it does. Encourage what she said. Okay, you can tell that we’ve got most of this morning. It does encourage you to do a lot of things wear really competitive so it’s funny that we say that we should never be on opposite teams so i don’t know how this makes us this is the craziest advise we’re giving you because well we are compete with each other that stuff is religion so

[00:02:23] spk_0: we do engage in challenging activity way have learned what where skills that’s why utilize them way

[00:02:33] spk_1: totally don’t have the same skill sets it’ll ok continue where you started if you started off giving her love notes and writing her songs on guitar and doing all that kind of stuff please don’t take this stuff away and expect like in year ten and you don’t need to do any more that’s just destiny you that you sold so that’s to you that you sold so you need to keep you need to be what you said worked don’t start me if you get flowers and you exercised together and all that kind of stuff don’t turn around in four or five years and decide i don’t do it somebody more because i’m married because that’s exactly what it looks like you’re saying because you’re not trying

[00:03:03] spk_0: right continue to court

[00:03:05] spk_1: yes condition according partner i like lacey wraps up so you continue to court your part yes theo theo affection you know that was the next one okay

[00:03:15] spk_0: i mean actually were always such a and i feel like it it shows its action that should have appreciation value you desire when you want to know that your partner desires

[00:03:29] spk_1: you do you really do want to know that that first next to you wants to be with i mean because we’re always talking about people out there that you know, the affair affairs it happened it’s always about somebody that seems like they want somebody more than the person they’re with even though they haven’t taken the trash out together paint bills together you know it’s gonna like that’s a fantasy that you’re living when you do have that type of relationship it’s nice to know that the person next to you values you in a way that another person that barely those would okay yeah spending intentional time together which means decide to spend time together and say this is gonna be our time two or three hours a day or two or three hours a weekend we’re going to sit together together we’re going to do we don’t know we’re gonna do we’re just going to spend that intentional time on each other this is not time where you go to the restaurant on you try to find excuses of getting out of this time this is time that you by being on facebook or whatever it was this time that you sit down together and you decide that even though we’re going to board is held together we’re gonna figure out why we’re borders all together and we’re gonna try to change some things about what we’re doing to be intentional being in the moment.

[00:04:31] spk_0: Okay, thanks. You know, we’re going to say this sex is so important until relationship to keep it going.

[00:04:38] spk_1: Yes, a lot of it.

[00:04:40] spk_0: Yes, it is it’s, often correlated with free relationship, satisfaction and general well being. If you have sex frequently, you generally just feel better. You have even less stress, you know, it makes you feel better. Sex makes i

[00:05:00] spk_1: don’t know i mean you could probably replace every single item on this list to say sex sex sex sex, sex, sex and you would not move

[00:05:08] spk_0: well i’m here if you’re not if you’re not having sexual relationship though it’s it’s often a telltale sign it’s a symptom else greater is going on that needs to be addressed

[00:05:17] spk_1: through to something else so caring about what your partner is and whether they’re safe is another another another requirement for making sure that our relationship last you don’t want somebody else doing this job i’ve also heard people say that the work wife got home wife and things like that other reasons i’ve noticed that people say that is because usually there’s a person there during the day and sometimes it’s a joke don’t take this too serious but sometimes there’s a person there that is really engaged in knowing what this person is doing your person is doing when you were away be invested in what they do i mean realising that curing where they’re at and if they’re safe when they’re doing it is part of showing that individual that you’re invested okay men it manifests itself in men with wanting to know where their partner is at all times with women they have a tendency to i think quite a bit about the person that they’re with they don’t need necessarily need to know where he is all the time but they need to know that that person knows what they’re thinking so it’s a little different a little different so so safety and cheering and those types of things that showed that that shows investment person yes i have your person in mind

[00:06:23] spk_0: all right and then lastly thoughtlessly being passionate about life being happy in general not so we can’t be happy all the time that’s a general term but just being appreciated your life given yeah and that yes that one turn will be come across in your relationship

[00:06:42] spk_1: if you don’t have a passion about uh problem that people run into a lot of the times you want your relationship to be everything it can’t be it’s not supposed to be it’s supposed to complement some wonderful things in your life it’s supposed to be a terrific compliment but if you have a passion for a passover athletic activities you have a passion for like when i met you, it was a passing for helping children, those types of things a therapy and different things like that worked with children autism when when a person has that type of passion and i work with people with ptsd and it makes it easier for you to fit into something and already had two something good because they have something they believe in and passionate people typically want to have a lot more sex when they really do because they’re they’re using working with some decent highs and lows that are going on that usually do well. I mean, they engage world intimacy, that’s it that’s being passionate about things that important,

[00:07:35] spk_0: it starts with you first.

[00:07:36] spk_1: Yes, it does start to do first if

[00:07:38] spk_0: your relationship is going to be passionate field of highs and lows of relationship, not just the lows. Yeah, you’ve got to be helping yourself allowed to allow that. Yes,

[00:07:47] spk_1: you do, because you’re persons come in and you can’t make them be a savior for you. If you’re you’re dealing with depressive conditions and things of that sort, this person is gonna have too much on our shoulders, try to see to be even be themselves again. We’re charlie and area. Check us out at sex, because dot com feel free to share this with you as well. We’ll see you soon.

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SexBecause with Charlie and Arienne
Dr. Charlie and Dr. Arienne Williams have specialized knowledge and training around the diverse ways in which people choose to explore their sexuality and/or gender. This will enable the person to feel accepted and understood, without judgement, and free from unnecessary questioning to clarify their understanding.

As discrimination is sadly still common surrounding sexual diversity, people may find it difficult to come to terms with their choices and preferences, which can lead to deep feelings of shame. These feelings can lead to difficulties in relationships, and internal conflict within self. Seeking support from Charlie and Arienne of SexBecause.com can help explore these feelings without any fear of the therapist being perhaps shocked or not understanding for example terms and/or slang which may be used in non traditional sexual lifestyles.

Dr. Charlie and Dr. Arienne have over 27 years clinical direct care experience dealing with PTSD, sexual trauma, relationship and couples therapy as well as grief support and substance abuse. They have trained over 200 therapists in experiential and cognitive behavioral therapy and worked with over 3,000 patients directly and are themselves clinicians.

Confidential online therapy, as well as therapy in their Houston Texas office is also available.