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How To Get Over A Cheater

Dr. Jess     
It can be very difficult to move on in life and in relationships after we’ve experienced betrayal.

It can be very difficult to move on in life and in relationships after we’ve experienced betrayal, but there are strategies you can employ to facilitate the process.

Read through the suggestions below and feel free to share your own in the comments section:

Take time to heal.

A clean break will make it easier to move on and focus on the positive elements of your own life. Agree not to transition to a friendship immediately after a break-up and avoid making excuses to get together. If you’re a drunk texter, delete their number from your phone so you won’t be tempted to get in touch during a late-night moment of loneliness.

Sign off social media.

You don’t have to close or deactivate your accounts altogether, but you do need a fresh start. Stop following (and analyzing) your ex’s updates and do not use social media platforms as a means of seeking attention or lashing out.

Take the high road.

It may be tempting to mock, bash or publicly criticize your ex, but degrading someone you once cared for does nothing to enrich your life or refine your reputation. Though you may need to talk about the particulars of your relationship and break-up with those closest to you, resist the urge to share your ex’s indiscretion with the world.

Hang out with happy people.

Your friends’ attitudes and intentions are contagious, so surround yourself with positive influences. Research suggests that this positive contagion works in multiple degrees: if a direct connection is happy, your chances of happiness improve by 15 percent; if a friend of a friend or spouse of a friend is happy, the likelihood of your happiness improves by 10 percent.

Happiness is more than just a state of mind — it’s associated with a host of practical and health benefits including reduced mortality, pain reduction, a boosted immune system and improved cardiac function. Hmmm…these benefits seem to parallel those associated with sex!

Invest in yourself.

It is common for your self-esteem to tumble after being betrayed, so remind yourself that your ex’s behavior is not a reflection of your self-worth. People cheat for many reasons and many admit that it is their own insecurity that motivated their infidelity.

To restore your self-esteem it is necessary to invest in yourself. Spend time engaging in activities you enjoy, try something new, volunteer or take a class to meet new people and enjoy life.

Take the time you need to heal and for yourself, and when you're ready remember to have fun and always practice safer sex!

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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