Sabrina, an ASN Most Influential Woman of the Lifestyle
Sabrina is one of ASN Lifestyle Magazine's Most Influential Women of the Lifestyle. All women featured in this series were chosen by the swinger community and ASN readers. Meet these women: who they are, and how they are recognized as leaders, influencers, and contributors within the Lifestyle community.
Hi, I’m Bri, of BriNJoe — The LS Advocate and our marketing agency LStyle Media Social.
As the name preludes, I’m an active advocate of the Lifestyle. My husband Joe and I run our site for Lifestylers as a source for Lifestyle entertainment, media, news, trends, events, promos, and more! Additionally, we run LStyle Media Social — a Digital Media Marketing & Branding Agency exclusively servicing the alternative Lifestyle industry. We provide businesses the digital solutions for building, establishing, and maintaining a strong online presence in what is by far one of the toughest to navigate industries with regard to marketing.
Also, check out the Lifestyle Trends That Matter. There’s plenty to view and read, starting with The Celebration Of The Women of the Lifestyle: http://bit.ly/WomenOfTheLS
We’re very active on social media and will always be available for advice — just ask! Our sites are brinjoels.com and lstylemediasocial.com. Find us here on SDC's Erotic Dating Site at BriJoe1224!
What do you think is the biggest challenge going from being a monogamous couple to a swinging couple?
Being in a monogamous relationship has an unspoken structure that’s a lot lower to maintain than living a non-monogamous Lifestyle. Transitioning your relationship and your way of life can bring a number of challenges. I‘d say the biggest challenge for us was learning each other’s boundaries. What’s said on paper doesn’t always translate the same in reality.
What's the most common question you receive from people when they ask you about your personal practices within the Lifestyle? What is your response?
Outsiders have an idea in their minds for what they envision the Lifestyle being. When I’m asked things like, “does everyone sleep with each other?“ or something like that, and I tell them how different it is than what they’ve always imagined, I can’t help but feel like they’re almost disappointed with the dull (compared to their colorful imagination) reality. LOL
What advice do you have for women who are just dipping their toes into the Lifestyle?
To me, life is about exploring. I think it’s great to check out a new scene, especially ours! My advice would be to educate yourself as much as possible. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself why you’re here? Does it make you excitable or aroused? Are there any outside influences determining your direction? It’s important to stay true to yourself and never to ignore or neglect your needs, and to keep that in mind when making big life choices.
When you first entered the Lifestyle, what's the best advice you were given?
A lot of great advice, and some not-so-great advice. Essentially, we as a couple had to learn to take it all with a grain of salt and embrace the good and forget the bad. We make these decisions as a team, and that itself — to navigate through this way of life as a team — has been ultimately the best advice I’ve ever received.
How has the Lifestyle has improved your life?
The Lifestyle has changed our lives entirely, and 100% for the better. My relationship, for one, has been taken to a level that I never knew existed. I have met a ton of amazing people and have fostered truly beautiful friendships. As an individual, I’ve never felt more in touch with myself. I’ve learned and continue to learn more about myself every day. It’s a been a blossoming I’d never take for granted.
As an influential woman in the Lifestyle, what makes people gravitate to you or what makes you a leader?
I believe true leadership means inspiring people to be their greatest selves. To treat people with the same dignity and respect you demand for yourself. And, most of all, to encourage people to be leaders themselves and not followers.
In what ways have you been able to educate either those in the Lifestyle or those wanting to get in the Lifestyle?
I use every channel, every platform, every chance given to advocate for the Lifestyle. I’ll always make myself available for advice. I want to make sure that I’m a resource, a confidant, and a friend to those who need it. I try to be the friend that I would have valued early on, especially for “The Curious” and just as much for fellow Lifestylers. All of this was kept in mind with the creation of the Lifestyle Trends That Matter, and still is.
What’s the most common misperception the general public has about women in the Lifestyle?
I believe the most common misconception regarding women in the Lifestyle is that we’re in it for the wrong reasons, that we’ve been influenced by our significant others to participate in a male-driven world.
While that may be true for a small few, overall, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Every woman I know from the Lifestyle, including myself, is strong, has an opinion that counts, and is seen as an equal to their mate. I personally introduced my husband, Joe, to the Lifestyle by bringing him to a swingers club I’d been to in the past. Every decision made since has been made together, and with honor to one another. As for the small percentage of women who are here to please their partners, I feel sad for them, and I don’t seriously consider them to be Lifestylers.
How would you describe the sexual evolution of you and other women in the Lifestyle?
I think of it more as a sexual awakening rather than an evolution. I have been a sexual woman for as long as I can remember. The difference between then and now — and for what I imagine it is for others — is the shedding of shame we’d been taught to feel when we’d express what felt natural to us. Entering the Lifestyle is a bit like that movie The Matrix; we were blind, and now we see. We were sleeping, and we’re now awake. It’s beautiful.
If you’ve come out to your family and friends, what was that like and how do you feel now?
I came out with ease to my father. He lives in NY, so I don’t get to see him often, but when we talk, we’re able to talk very openly and honestly. What made it doubly easy for me to come out was him coming out as a swinger to me first!
My mother knows, but we don’t discuss it.
I had a great time with coming out to a select few of my best friends. They were really accepting, and if anything else, curious. I’d become the most interesting friend to chat with on Mondays! LOL
If you are not bisexual, do you feel there’s a negative stigma around you and why? What could change this for others moving forward?
I’m very into women on a sexual level, but I wouldn’t label myself bisexual because I’d never find myself in a relationship with a woman. Regardless, I don’t personally face this issue. I’ve heard from women and couples that have experienced this, however, and I hate to hear about any type of shaming in our community.
If communication is key to success in any relationship, what advice do you have for women to bring up the topic of entering the Lifestyle without their partner feeling they just want to “sleep around” or that their partner is “not enough?”
I recommend being outright with the subject. You can bring it up and be both subtle and honest at the same time. Maybe mention a story from TV, or even actual people you know, like, “have you heard of Hedo? The Millers just got back from their vacation… did you know?” You’ll know from his reaction right away how he feels. Who knows, he may even feel the same way but was too afraid to bring it up to you!
When you share your desires with one another, you’re finally given the opportunity to give and receive the pleasure you both deserve!
ALL PHOTOS RIGHTS OWNED
This article originally appeared in the October 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.