This question recently came up in a Ladies of the Lifestyle group that I am an admin for. It has some seriously good information, so I wanted to share it in the June 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine!
This Issue's Question
Q: OK ladies. I’m not a poster, but here it goes! I’ve registered for a hotel takeover as a single although I’m married. My hubby feels this big event is not for him, so I’m going alone. This is a totally new boundary for us, and while I’m super excited for a new experience and being independent, I’m nervous at the thought of going by myself. I’ve never attended an event alone! I’ve been with my hubby since we were teens, so I’ve always had a partner or people with me. Any tips or advice from you ladies who are more independent and do stuff like this on their own are greatly appreciated! How do you get past the anxiety going outside your comfort zone?
A: Girl, I am so freaking excited and PROUD of you! This is why I love the Lifestyle. It can provide all kinds of opportunities for growth for both individually and within your relationship(s).
I hope that you are proud of both yourself and your relationship. It takes a lot of work to build this kind of trust, openness, and communication. Place faith and confidence in yourself for this experience. You have already gotten this far.
As for advice and tips, here is what I suggest:
- Ensure your partner, and you have discussed your rules and boundaries for attending this event. What sort of play is ok? Are you staying with someone in the hotel room or alone? Are sleepovers allowed? Discuss all the different scenarios that could come up and talk about them. This doesn’t have to be a negative discussion, either. Talk about the sexy things that could happen too.
- It may be smart to arrange a “check-in” schedule with your hubby. I know a lot of my girlfriends who play alone/attend events alone do this. Every 2-3 hours you can send him an update text or plan something that works for you.
- Connect with other single ladies or couples before the event. Usually, there are groups for the event on Kik, Facebook, SDC, etc. Just ask the organizers or other attendees, and I am sure you can find something. I actually heard of several events that had a separate group chat just for single ladies! Getting to know others before the event can help you feel more relaxed and ease anxiety.
- Attend workshops, playshops, seminars, and don’t miss the welcome seminar. All of these are great ways to meet others and mingle outside of the “party” times.
- If you have a room to yourself, make it is your sanctuary. Personally, I love bringing my crystals, oil diffuser, and twinkle lights to make my room sensual and soft.
- Trust your intuition! Women are blessed with a strong intuition and the “gut-feel.” Listen to this during the event. It will help to guide you towards making the most pleasurable night possible!
I hope these tips help you through the next journey in non-monogamy! Good luck and I can’t wait to hear all about it!
Keep it sexy!
This article originally appeared in the June 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.