Yes, Sign up

Mindful Foot Massage

SDC Dr Rich Blonna Mindful Massage Feet Foot Couple Sensual Foreplay Sensory Play
SDC Dr Rich Blonna Mindful Massage Feet Foot Couple Sensual Foreplay Sensory Play
In sensual massage, the focus shifts to providing more direct contact with the genitals and other erogenous zones. Here’s a guided activity for giving your partner a mindful foot massage.

Massage is one of the greatest sensual delights you can share with your partner. Massage can be a stand-alone sensual activity or a prelude to sexual intercourse. Massage allows you to explore every nook and cranny of your partner’s body in a relaxed, sensual way. Devoting your full attention to kneading, stroking, and manipulating your partner's body requires that you are fully mindful of the present moment

Giving a massage is an excellent training tool for mindfulness because all of your senses are involved. Think about the sense of touch. When you give a massage you must be acutely aware of pressure and motion and the feel of your muscles as well as your partner's skin and flesh. Your sense of smell gets involved because of the natural scent of your partner's skin, hair, and body fluids. Also, many of the massage oils commonly used are scented and can add an extra olfactory dimension to your experience. Visually, you are focused on the shape and contour of your partner's body as your hands move along the ridges and lines of her muscles. The only sense that isn't automatically involved in giving a massage is taste but with a little creativity on your part, you can even work that in. 

In sensual massage, the focus shifts to providing more direct contact with the genitals and other erogenous zones. Let’s start with giving your partner a mindful foot massage.


Sexual Mindfulness Activity: Giving a Mindful Foot Massage


1. Have your partner lie face down on the bed with their feet extending over the edge of the bed about 12 inches.

2. Pull up a stool or chair and position it so that your partner’s feet are directly in front of you, and you can grasp them easily while seated. 

3. Spend a few moments just noticing your partner’s feet with all five of your senses.

4. Get close and examine each foot carefully. Imagine you are a scientist noticing the size, shape, color, texture, and weight of your partner’s feet.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

5. Now close your eyes and examine your partner’s feet using your senses of touch, smell, and taste.

6. Use your nose, cheeks, face, head, and hair to examine your partner’s feet.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

7. Now take a quick taste. You just washed your partner’s feet, so they are clean. Suck on a toe, lick your partner’s instep, heel, or Achilles tendon. You don’t have to get too freaky, just take a taste.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions about experiencing your partner’s feet with all five of your senses.

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings, note that this is happening and say to yourself, “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s feet.

8. Spread oil or powder all over your partner’s feet and ankles.

9. Take your time and rub it all over, making sure to get between your partner’s toes.

10. Notice how the oil or powder feels and smells as you rub it into your partner’s feet.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

11. Rub any excess over your partner’s legs all the way up to your partner’s buttocks. 

12. Now stand and cradle both of your partner’s feet in your two hands. 

13. Notice the weight and feel of your partner’s feet in your hands.

14. Press your partner’s feet against your genitals. 

15. If you have a vagina, notice the sensations in your genitals as you press your partner’s feet against your vulva. 

16. If you have a penis, have your partner’s feet cradle around your penis and feel the soles of your partner’s feet against your scrotum.

17. Notice the sensations in your genitals as you press your partner’s feet against them. 

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

18. Let your partner know how good this feels. 

Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you press your partner’s feet against your genitals.

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s feet and the sensations in your genitals. 

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

19. Now sit back down and shift your focus off of yourself and back on your partner’s feet. 

20. Start at your partner’s ankles.

21. Grasp both feet at the ankle and pull your hands back towards you as you slide your thumbs over the heels and down the center of your partner’s feet.

22. Apply pressure with your thumbs as you pull your hands along the center of your partner’s feet.

23. Do this several times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

24. Now shift your focus to your partner’s left foot. 

25. Start at your partner’s left ankle, and while grasping your partner’s left foot at the ankle with both of your hands, pull your hands back towards you as you slide your thumbs over the heel and down the center of your partner’s left foot.

26. Apply pressure with your thumbs as you pull your hands along the center of your partner’s left foot.

27. Do this several times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

28. Now shift your focus to the toes on your partner’s left foot.

29. Start with the big toe, and using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the big toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

30. Repeat this action a couple of times on the big toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

31. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

32. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the next toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

33. Repeat this action a couple of times on the second toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

34. Work your way down to the middle toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

35. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the middle toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

36. Repeat this action a couple of times on the middle toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

37. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

38. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the next toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

39. Repeat this action a couple of times on the next toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

40. Work your way down to the pinkie toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

41. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the pinkie toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

42. Repeat this action a couple of times on the pinkie toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you massage your partner’s foot and toes. 

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s body and the sensations in your hands and fingers as you massage. 

43. Now focus on the arch in your partner’s left foot.

44. Grab your partner’s foot with both hands and use your thumbs to knead just the arch.

45. Repeat this action a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

46. When you are finished kneading it with your thumbs for a few times shift and use your fist to rub it in a circular motion putting more pressure on it than before. 

47. Repeat this action a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

48. Now grasp all of the toes in your partner’s left foot with one hand and rotate them in a circular motion.

49. As you continue to hold all of the toes on your partner’s left foot in one hand, push the ball of your partner’s foot down toward the floor while gently pulling your partner’s left heel back towards you with the other hand. This will gently stretch your partner’s entire left foot.

50. Do this a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

51. You are now ready to shift to the right foot.

52. Stand up and lean over, spread more oil on your partner’s legs, behind the knees, and buttocks.

53. Notice the shape, smell, feel, and taste of your partner’s legs and buttocks as you make your way up your partner’s left leg, over the buttocks, and down the right leg to the right foot.

54. Take time to nuzzle your partner’s legs and buttocks.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

55. Work your way to the right foot by sliding your hands up your partner’s left leg, over their buttocks, and down the right leg all the way to the ankle.

56. As you move up one leg, over the buttocks, and down the next leg, press and knead the areas you go over.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

57. Now shift your focus to your partner’s right foot. 

58. Start at your partner’s right ankle, and while grasping your partner’s right foot in both of your hands, pull them back over the heel and down the center of your partner’s foot.

59. Apply pressure with your thumbs as you pull your hands along the center of your partner’s right foot.

60. Do this several times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

61. Now shift your focus to the toes on your partner’s right foot.

62. Start with the big toe, and using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the big toe. 

63. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

64. Repeat this action a couple of times on the big toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you massage your partner’s toes. 

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s body and the sensations in your hands and fingers as you massage your partner’s toes. 

65. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

66. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the next toe. 

67. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

68. Repeat this action a couple of times on the second toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

69. Work your way down to the middle toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

70. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the middle toe. 

71. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

72. Repeat this action a couple of times on the middle toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

73. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

74. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the next toe. 

75. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

76. Repeat this action a couple of times on the next toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

77. Work your way down to the pinkie toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.

78. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull and twist the pinkie toe. 

79. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.

80. Repeat this action a couple of times on the pinkie toe.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

81. Now focus on the arch in your partner’s right foot.

82. Grab your partner’s foot with both hands and use your thumbs to knead just the arch.

83. Repeat this action a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

84. When you are finished kneading it with your thumbs for a few times shift and use your fist to rub it in a circular motion putting more pressure on it than before. 

85. Repeat this action a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

86. Now grasp all of the toes in your partner’s right foot with one hand and rotate them in a circular motion.

87. As you continue to hold all of the toes on your partner’s right foot in one hand, push the ball of the foot down toward the floor while gently pulling your partner’s right heel towards you with the other hand.

88. Do this a couple of times.

PAUSE A FEW SECONDS

89. Gently wipe off the excess oil from your partner’s feet and legs and cover them with a blanket or towel.

90. Let your partner relax and enjoy the warmth and peacefulness.

Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you lie quietly next to your partner for a few moments. 

If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment,” and focus on your partner’s body and the sensations in your hands and fingers as you relax and lie next to your partner.

Take turns giving foot massages. Today, you take the initiative and let your partner give you a massage the next time.


In my next column, I’ll talk about giving a mindful back massage. You can listen to the recorded version of this activity by getting your copy of my Sexual Mindfulness audio collection at https://www.drrichblonna.com/audio/sexual-mindfulness/.


Dr. Rich Blonna

Dr. Rich is not a swinger. He is an SDC author/contributor who has written books and developed self-help courses that will help members of the SDC community enhance their sexuality and relationships. He is a a noted author, teacher, trainer, and coach. He has helped thousands of students and clients from across the globe improve their sex lives. He is a world-renowned expert in understanding how the mind and body work together to enhance sexual pleasure. He is a retired Professor Emeritus from William Paterson University in NJ, where he taught Human Sexuality for 28 years. As a nationally-certified Coach (BCC), Counselor (NCC), and Health Education Specialist (CHES), he uses the best practices from these disciplines to help you get the most out of your sex life. He is one of the pioneers of Acceptance and Commitment (AC) Coaching, an approach that helps you become more psychologically-flexible and unleash the power of your sexual mind to get the most out of your sex life. Dr. Rich is also certified in Naikan and Morita, two forms of Japanese psychology that use mindfulness and acceptance to help you shift your focus off of your unhelpful sexual thoughts and feelings, and onto acting in ways that enhance your sex life and relationships. He is the author of several books, adult-learning courses, and training materials that integrate this approach into the field of human sexuality.
SHOW MORE ...
0 Comments
  • Anonymous