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Online Dating Tips

Dr. Jess     
Dr. Jess offers some expert tips to help you have a successful online dating experience.

Are you dating online?

We know it’s not always easy to find your match online. Here are a few tips for successful online dating.

1. Creep your “competition”

Although fellow daters aren’t technically your competition, reading through profiles of similar daters (e.g. people of the same gender, age, and region) will inspire you to craft a more effective profile.

Questions to ask yourself: What do these profiles have in common? Do I want to avoid repetitive content (e.g. cliches)? What makes a profile stand out? How can I differentiate my profile?

2. Use your Twitter or Snap feed to populate your profile

It’s an accurate picture of your recent interests and activities. Share a few of your top tweets (without revealing your handle).

3. Ask your friends to write you a short (1-2 line) profile

Read their versions and use them to put together your profile content using your own words.

4. Check your body language

Research shows that poses in which your chest is open and/or your arms are outspread are rated as the most attractive. Other body language cues for your dates:

  • Check your date’s feet. Are they pointed directly at you even when you’re not face-to-face? This might be a sign of interest.

  • Do they mirror your body language? This may be a sign of approval and connection.

  • Do they lean in or away from you as you speak? Forward movement conveys genuine interest and attraction.

  • When they smile do their eyes smile too? Does the skin around the eyes crinkle? If so, it’s more likely a genuine smile.

5. Be as specific as possible when filling out your profile

For example:

General: I love adventure and am always seeking new experiences.
Specific: My last adventure involved a night out at a knife throwing range. I wasn’t a pro, but I had a blast.

General: I’m very active and want to find a partner who also enjoys the great outdoors.
Specific: I love mountain biking. Last week I discovered a new path up Mount Angelia.

General: I love food and am a great cook.
Specific: I love to cook. Right now, you’ll find shrimp, avocado, homemade hot sauce and starfruit in my fridge

6. Let go of the soul mate myth

There is no such thing. You can live (almost) happily ever after with more than one of the other 7 billion people on this earth. Belief in fate is positively correlated with lower relationship satisfaction; belief in the need to work/grow is key to a happy relationship.

How ever you choose to date online, remember that it’s supposed to be FUN! Enjoy yourself. Laugh at and learn from the bad dates. Relish in the good ones — even if they don’t always lead to love.

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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