Couple's Workshop #1: The Sensuous Hand Job
Dr. Jess     
Participants were mostly couples, but a few singles attended the Hand Job session armed with a handy cucumber for practice.

This post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you are not yet 18, please visit www.spiderbytes.ca for reliable information on human sexuality.

As part of my initiation into the field of international sexology, I hosted the first set of human sexuality workshops at Desire Resort and Spa this month and they were a huge success. Participants were mostly couples, but a few singles attended the Hand Job session armed with a handy cucumber for practice. I had planned to provide dildos, but was warned that I may not make it through Mexican customs with 50 silicone penises. Given the red-light, green-light selection process at the Cancun airport Customs desk, I'm glad I was forewarned.

As promised, I'll share a few techniques from the workshop below. Bear in mind that the best sex is always subjective and these are just a few ideas to get you started... or keep you coming. Play with these a little, change their names and adapt them to suit what feels best for you.


Basic hand job tips:


  1. Change positions often to avoid cramping.
  2. Use lots and lots of lube. Check out www.OhhhCanada.ca or www.GoodVibes.com for a yummy selection of the good stuff.
  3. Apply lube with your mouth, fingertips or breasts.
  4. Remove all jewellery and ensure nails are smooth and trimmed.
  5. Use at least two hands to pay attention to all the sensitive parts:

Coronal ridge (rim between the head and shaft)

Frenulum (tissue on underside of penis that connects head to foreskin)

Head/glans Shaft Perineum (space between scrotum/testicles and anus)

Testicles/scrotum Foreskin Bulb (can be massaged through perineum)

Bum hole and Prostate (massaged through perineum or through the anus)


Possible Positions


Rear View: Kneel over his abdomen with your back toward his face

Director's Chair: Kneel between his legs as he sits upright on a chair

Easy Access: Kneel/lay between his legs as he lays on his back

Try a few of these moves and let me know what you think!


The Licking Hand


The Licking Hand is a nice way to get started and is really simple:

  1. Use a flat, super-lubricated hand to simulate a licking tongue. Consider blindfolding him and using two licking hands to simulate a fun threesome.
  2. Gently lick/paint the shaft, balls, head and inner thighs.

The Grand Slam Breakfast - Pancakes, Syrup and Freshly Squeezed OJ:


  1. Apply lots of lube (the "syrup") to the entire penis.
  2. Use your less-dominant hand to firmly grasp around the base of the penis; you may want to create a basic seal by making an OK sign with your index finger and thumb.
  3. Use your dominant hand to create a pancake on the top of the head: flatten your hand into a pancake and use the centre of your palm to create circles with medium pressure on the top of his head.
  4. Alternate the pancake with the juice squeeze: twist your fingers in circular motions around the head like you're gently juicing an orange over the head of the penis.

Twist and Shout


  1. Apply lots of lube to your hands.
  2. Begin with your palm facing away from you and your thumb pointing down. This should look like a thumbs-down sign except your fingers should be outstretched.
  3. Firmly grasp the shaft at the base and slide up toward the head; your palm should still face away from you.
  4. When you reach the head, twist your hand over the top so that your palm ends facing you and you're still gripping the penis from the far side. Pay attention to the ridge and frenulum as you perform the twist, as these areas can be highly sensitive.
  5. Slide down the other side of the penis.
  6. With practice, this will become a fluid motion and you can alternate hands to maintain constant contact. You may want to try this one on a dildo/vegetable first to get the hang of it.

The Ringer


  1. Grasp the shaft of the penis with both lubricated hands (one on top of the other).
  2. Apply medium pressure as you turn your hands in opposite directions as though you are ringing out a wet towel; extra lube will ensure a smooth and pleasurable sensation.

Praise the Lord


  1. Place your highly lubricated palms together in prayer position.
  2. Lower them in an upright prayer position over the penis to create a tight seal.
  3. Slide in an up-and-down motion maintaining tight pressure.
  4. Twist in alternating directions as you continue to apply pressure and stroke up and down.



These are just a few of the many techniques we covered in the workshop. Other fun strategies included The Corkscrew, The Manual Vagina, The Mixer, The Extendorator, The Necklace, The Tunnel, The Milk Woman and The Pulse. Once we get started, the possibilities are endless! Until next time, have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex.

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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