DIY Sex: Hot Tips for Self Pleasure
Dr. Jess     
I cannot think of a better project to work on with your very own hands than a little self-pleasure.

This month is all about Do-It-Yourself and as fantastic as some of the latest homemade crafts and edible gifts may be, I cannot think of a better project to work on with your very own hands than a little self-pleasure.

With new research suggesting that over 90% of men and women have made solo sex a part of their erotic repertoire, there is hope that the days of shame, stigma and shameful hairy-palm myths are long gone. Considering that most people will experience their very first orgasm at the hands of...their own hands, it’s a good thing too! Read on for my favorite tips to get the most out of self-love.


Fantasize!


Thinking about someone other than the love of your life during sex is NOT tantamount to cheating. In fact, 84% of men and women admit to fantasizing about other partners and research suggests that those who fantasize have the most fulfilling sex lives. So, go ahead and let your mind wander a little...

If you don’t know what to fantasize about, do a little research. Check out the stories from real women in Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden or pick up a copy of Sweet Love: Erotic Fantasies for Couples by Violet Blue. Not every story will appeal to you in its entirety (in fact, some may turn you off altogether), but reading a variety of fantasies will help you to tap into your own and push your boundaries.


Make Noise!


Did you know that most of the noise we make during sex is actually for our partners’ pleasure and not our own? And though we tend to exaggerate our sounds during partnered sex, many of us do the opposite during solo sex. Downplaying our natural vocalizations seems to make sense since many of us were conditioned to muffle our sounds during early masturbation experiences to avoid “getting caught.”

However, as adults, all that has changed. We can lock ourselves in our rooms or steam up the shower as we let it all hang out! The next time you decide to play with yourself, allow your sounds to flow freely so that your breath follows in a deep and natural rhythm. If you feel like sighing, screaming or grunting, then go ahead and indulge. Your body will thank you with orgasmic contractions and tingly sensations all over.




Have fun exploring your own body, and remember to always practice safer sex!

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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