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Masturbation Advice For An Improved Sex Life

Dr. Jess     
Did you know that masturbating can improve your sex life? Dr. Jess reveals some tips to rub yourself the right way.

Masturbation is good for your sex life, whether you're single or coupled. It’s the prime opportunity to learn about your own body without the pressure to perform or meet another person’s needs. And once you know what you like in bed, you can train a partner (or two or three!) to be a part of the process.


Experiment With Yourself


Treat self-pleasure as you would with partnered sex and experiment. We tend to masturbate using the same technique, in the same location and in the same position over and over again; changing things up can help you to discover new likes and dislikes. Try a new position, a new toy or a new approach to see if you learn something surprising about your body’s unique sexual response.

Pay attention to your breath. Are you holding it? Experiment with a range of breathing patterns (e.g. short and shallow, deep and slow) to see how your sexual response changes.


Free Your Sounds


Let your sounds emanate freely. Don’t hold back. When we watch porn, we often see and hear exaggerated versions of sexual response - including sounds. We aren’t sure what ours should sound like because most of us have never seen or heard real-life sex with non-actors.

The best way to fix this is to practice while masturbating. When you’re all alone and don’t feel any pressure to perform, give yourself permission to make as much or as little sound as you’d like. Breathe, moan, groan and don’t adjust your sounds to make them fit a cultural script - just let them flow. Once you get comfortable with your own sounds, you’ll become more comfortable with a partner.

Remember: stifling your sounds interferes with breathing, which can inhibit sexual response and orgasm!


Take Your Time


Because many of us were conditioned to rush through masturbation to avoid getting caught during our teen years, we’ve created bad habits that prioritize expediency over experience. There is nothing wrong with a quickie, but you might also want to take your time once in awhile to train yourself to exercise some control over your sexual and orgasmic response.




Masturbation also has the potential to improve body image; as you learn to enjoy your body and appreciate its natural responses, you may feel more connected to it and learn to appreciate its incredible capacity for pleasure.

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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