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The New Pre-Gaming: Should You Masturbate Before a Date?

Dr. Jess     
Even if you are the most charismatic, confident, good-looking person out there, you may still feel a little uncertainty in your mind.

Who doesn’t get a little nervous before a first date? Hands up please. No one? Right.

Even if you are the most charismatic, confident, good-looking person out there, you may still feel a little uncertainty in your mind. Is masturbating the new pre-date activity to help alleviate those nerves? Most of us have seen that scene from There’s Something About Mary.

All joking aside, is this a viable option to cure a case of the nervies?


Will it Really Keep Sex off Your Mind?


Can a pregame O help keep your mind off sex on your date? I am highly doubtful. If you are concerned with thinking about sex the entire time on your date, I don’t think masturbation will help keep you out of the mental sheets. If you are with your date and things are progressing nicely, you are attracted to them, you probably are going to think about sex. AND THAT IS OK! We are sexual beings. Your date isn’t going to be able to read your mind, and as long and you don’t whip off the tablecloth and take them right there on the table, you’ll be fine.


Orgasm Helps You Relax


Masturbation and orgasm have no bearing on the level of our sex drive. It’s not a situation of “if you use it, you lose it.” When we orgasm, our bodies relax and release tension in our muscles. You get an overall feeling of well-being and calm. It is a completely natural activity. But also keep in mind; a simple orgasm won’t quell our sex drive completely. Just think of an orgasm as a quick, free, fun release that can help put you in a better mindset; pre-gaming. And I am not just speaking to the men. Ladies, you too can benefit from the natural, refreshing feeling from an orgasm.


Sex Does Release Tension


Moreover, what can we take home from this? Can an orgasm help take sex off the brain? Nah. Can an orgasm help alleviate some nervousness or stress? Absolutely. So when you’re getting ready for your date, picking out your perfect outfit, and doing your hair just so, take some time for you and tap in to your built-in stress reliever. An orgasm a day can keep the nervies away, and when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.




About the author: Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Grand Rapids-based Sexologist. She holds a doctor of education in Human Sexuality from San Francisco’s Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a degree in Biology from Grand Valley State University. She also Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists (ACS).

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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