C is for Cunnilingus

I think every woman intrinsically knows how to pleasure another woman. We simply do what we would like to be done to us. It may require some practice and self-confidence but it is there, just waiting to be discovered. This follows on perfectly from B is for Bisexuality. I feel it is a natural thing for women to be together. And the same could be said for two guys being together. But this is about Cunnilingus. P is for Penis Play so stay tuned for that one…

Perfecting the technique…

Each woman has different erogenous zones and it can be fun to explore them as the Sexual Adventurer that you are!

C could be for Clitoris as that is the primary sensitive area for most women. Sometimes, to find the right spot can be a challenge, but I welcome that challenge and encourage you to, as well. Or you can always ask what it is that gives her pleasure. Ask for some guidance. Asking shows that you genuinely want to know what will bring her pleasure. Being the recipient, it is important to also give verbal responses so that the giver knows they are on the right track.

Each woman is completely different and responds differently. One of my girlfriends loves her clitoris to be sucked very vigorously. Another just likes soft licking, as if a pussy cat is lapping up cream.

Adding those extras

I find introducing humming whilst performing cunnilingus can simulate a vibrating sex toy and bring added stimulation to that area. Appreciative sounds whilst giving oral pleasure can be beneficial, too. It shows you are enjoying what you are doing and love what you taste. Women can be very self-conscious about being licked. So, to show your appreciation really helps.

Adding extra spit also helps the experience for the receiver. Some may be shy and not produce a whole lot of juice so help them out with some of your saliva. Saliva is also a great anti-bacterial.

As well as the tongue and humming, added stimulation can be given with finger play on the outside and inside of the vagina at the same time as licking the clitoris. Sex toys can be used, too. In my experience maintaining lip contact with the genitalia at the same time as using a toy or finger is the most effective.

It’s not for every woman!

Some women do not orgasm from licking. So don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get the response you expect. In my experience, oral pleasuring is a part of sex, but not necessarily the be all and end all. Keep experimenting with different combinations in order to achieve ultimate sexual satisfaction.

I have noticed in different cultures and countries differing comfortableness with oral sex and performing oral sex on women in particular. So encourage your sexual partners to lick you!

“Lick before you stick” is a great motto to live by, guys! If you want to stick it in, then make sure it is nicely moist before you do! Licking the pussy first is an almost guaranteed way to ensure sexual satisfaction for both parties!

Keep it clean down there, ladies

There’s a reason we have a nose above our mouths, too! It is important to sniff before you eat. If it doesn’t smell right don’t eat it! And the same goes with the pussy. Your nose gives you indicators whether your body will enjoy eating something or not!

Each woman has a different smell depending on what she eats, the time of her cycle, and general hygiene. Ladies, if you would like to encourage your sexual partners to perform cunnilingus, then makes you are are clean and fresh down below!

If at any time I have gone down on a woman and not resonated with her odor I then subtly incorporate a shower or bath into our time and then try again… it can be very sensual showering with another person. Be careful not to use too much soap down there though. But lots of water…

But, what’s the BEST technique?

There are many books out there outlining different techniques for cunnilingus. In my experience, however, being too clinical and scientific takes the joy and pleasure away, for both parties. It is interesting to read the books or watch the videos, but trust your inner self.

You are a Sexual Adventurer! Enjoy the exploration and see each female as an opportunity to discover new lands! Some may be lush, green, tropical jungles. Others, may initially feel like a dry desert, but underneath there may be a spring waiting to be found! Each is a unique continent to be discovered. Dwell a little and enjoy your new discoveries.

Different music can inspire different tongue action. More on that under M for Music. But experiment with playing different music in the background and licking in time to the beat or hum along with the song.

But most importantly incorporate it into your sexual play! As a woman, and as a sexologist who has worked intimately with many, many women, sexual stimulation down there is appreciated and desired. If you don’t feel comfortable or skilled simply find an excuse to practice.

Now there’s a great pick-up line for your next social event, swinger party or meet up: “So, I want to become better at cunnilingus and would love to explore with you and get your feedback…” If someone came up to me and said that I would find it difficult to say no!


One of my philosophies in life is “Say Yes!” You won’t know whether you like it until you try it. And sometimes you may have to try things a few times before you know whether you like it or not. And like Cinderella – it may take the prince to try out a few “feet” until he finds that one that fits the shoe perfectly!

Cinderella starts with a C. We are all Cinderellas in that we hope our “Prince” will rescue us. Be the Prince (whether you are a male or female) and set out on a quest to satisfy your Princess!

Please complete the required fields.











Dr. Shelley on EmailDr. Shelley on Facebook
Dr. Shelley
Originally from New Zealand, now based in Las Vegas, Dr Shelley has a PhD specializing in human sexuality and in particular open relationships and polyamory. She is the author of Soul Sex, and the Anti-Aging & Health Benefits of Sex. Dr Shelley teaches small group intensives, workshops and has been working with couples and individuals for 20 years focusing on making the world more sexually joyful. She is excited to share her latest writings Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex.