How To Keep The Flame Burning Over The Holidays
Dr. Jess     
The holiday season can be a stressful time for many couples, so check out Dr. Jess’ tips to help keep your flame burning as your ring in the New Year.

The holiday season can be a stressful time for many couples, so check out Dr. Jess’ tips to help keep your flame burning as your ring in the New Year.


Forego Gift-Giving


Good things may come in small packages, but great things come in the form of our most valuable asset…time. The pressure to choose the perfect gift can detract from the cheer of the season, so trade in time at the mall for quality time spent together. Take turns planning an intimate date and use these ideas as inspiration:

  • Go ice-skating hand-in-hand.
  • Hit up the tobogganing hill beneath the stars.
  • Prepare a private brunch for two.
  • Indulge in a spa day.
  • Take a holiday cooking class together.
  • Snuggle up for an evening of spiked hot cocoa and cheesy holiday movies.
  • Go snow tubing!
  • Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or “adopt” a child and purchase holiday gifts from their wish list.

“Match” Your Family Time


The holidays usually involve a series of gatherings with friends and family and though these get-togethers can be full of love and laughter, we sometimes neglect our romantic relationships during this busy time of year. To ensure that you have a chance to connect with your lover this year, devise a plan to “match” time spent with family with time spent alone.

For instance, if you spend 3 hours at a family get-together, make a commitment to spend a similar amount of time doing something you enjoy as a couple. Running from party to party and house to house can be exhausting and leave you feeling anything but sexy, so scheduling time for intimacy is of paramount importance. The exchange does not have to be minute for minute, but any effort to set time aside for yourselves will be well worth it.


Steal a Few Sexy Moments


Dinner at Aunt Shirley’s with 18 of your (geographically) closest family members may not inspire a quickie in the laundry room, but you can still make an effort to eroticise your relationship over the holidays. A sweet kiss beneath the mistletoe or 30 seconds of making out in the spare bedroom will help to remind you of the powerful connection you share. Even a stolen glance from across the room or a whispered “I love you” during your uncle’s rambling toast can help to cultivate this connection through the holiday season and beyond.




Enjoy the holidays together, and remember to always practice safer sex.

Dr. Jess

"An award-winning speaker, Jess has worked with thousands of couples from all corners of the globe to transform their relationships via her wildly successful Marriage As A Business program. From Prague and Istanbul to Albuquerque and New York City, her relationship retreats receive rave reviews from some of the most powerful couples in the world who are drawn to her enthusiastic, practical and no-nonsense approach to happily ever after. Jess's doctoral research focused on sexual health and relationship education and she is passionate about accessible, classroom-based education. When she isn't globetrotting for speaking engagements, she volunteers with students, teachers and social service organizations to empower young people to embrace healthy, happy relationships. As a global ambassador for several brands, Jess contributes regularly to the biggest names in international media. You'll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women's Health, Men's Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Her insights into couple' issues reaches millions of homes across America as the host of the hit reality series Swing, which just capped its fifth season on PlayboyTV. Canadian-born and Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent, Dr. Jess loves ultimate frisbee, crab, airplane turbulence, cheese and red wine. Makes perfect sense, right?"
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