Penser à haute voix/Thinking out loud

We are new to the lifestyle. We are attracted to the lifestyle. We are having trouble finding our way…

This is what we would hope for:

Meeting people that are happy, interesting, funny and playful. Playful in every sense. We enjoy social games, dinners, going out, etc. Our starting fantasy would be to have friends that are a bit more than friends, were we could have dinner, play a game, dress sexy, flirt…

If it would just be that, it would be great. But with a bit of wine, when people start to relax and be comfortable, if things heat up, then that would be great also. But sex is not our main goal. It would be the joy of feeling those ‘feelings’ again, in the safe zone of our couple.

I find her beautiful, she finds me beautiful. To the eyes of others, we would appear average I guess. Like probably most of the people on this site. But this is not important to us. We have learned with time that when you get to know someone and like that person, they become beautiful. So, we are not looking for gorgeous, ripped, athletic people. And they are certainly not looking for us. 😊

But in this fast-paced world, who takes the time anymore?

Clubs are difficult. We have tried four different ones. Three we liked a lot. One not very much as there were too many single men buzzing around us all the time. We are not judging, we were the ones uncomfortable.

But it does not seem to be the place search for what we are looking for. We tried talking to people, just to be social, nothing else, but we understood very quickly that just talking to someone has a whole other meaning in a swinger’s club. That’s cool but does not help our quest.

This site seemed to have potential. But we hit two people that I am sure are not real. Some people ‘liked’ us, we then ‘liked’ them back, and then, nothing. I wrote a previous blog about our profile. There were good suggestions which we followed (better pictures, more skin, etc.). We make modifications.

Some people dismissed us for our looks. Kind of hurt but we know we should not take it personally. We did do our homework.

We maybe not photogenic, but meet us in person, get to know us a bit, and you may possibly find that we are beautiful people…

Comments

02-13-2018 by INTREPIDCPL
Be of good cheer.  You should be able to find exactly hat you're looking for, but it's going to be a bit of work.

A couple of profiles "liked" your profile, but it ended there?  Okay, then.  Stop waiting for others and get out there and start writing to people that you feel are interesting. You know what?  Some people are going to reject you.  That's okay.  There's no shame in being rejected - it just means that you aren't looking for the same thing.

Some people on this site are looking for incredible sexual experiences with model-style bodies, after which they will swiftly move onto the next one.  Others are looking for friends with occasional benefits.  Most folks are somewhere between there.  I can't criticize someone for wanting something that I'm not looking for, and that's the secret.  Rejection in the LS isn't some sort of critucism.  It's not to be taken personally at all.  You're just looking for different things.

Reach out.  That's how to get what you're looking for.  Make friends.  Even people that you don't care to play with can be friends that could introduce you to someone or invite you to a party.  Go to meet-and-greets, be social and have fun.

This is supposed to be fun.  That's the point.

02-13-2018 by BOUNCYBEDDY
Some couples only play once or twice a year. Getting started takes time. Going to the club consistently helps. Try house parties, vacations, or hotel takeovers. Don't bother with paid house parties unless you already know the people well and feel it is justified. You have a lot of options. Just enjoy the experience without expectations.

Swinging is about sex. Poly is about those feelings, as you put it. Some people here are ok with a more poly approach. Many are not. You may enjoy soft swap couples. 
02-13-2018 by EUROMEXCOUPLE

When I first started, with the ex, the Trap 3-4 nights per week. At first, the ex being very bi, F/F play.  Often with the same female. Then getting bored with watching, F/M/F just for a short while.  Somebody gets the short "end of the stick".   "So why didn't you cum in me?". Ouch, do not want to hear that again.

Better, couples, if the chemistry is there, all get satisfied.

The club proved fruitful, we met two couples that we exclusively enjoyed for two years, and that led to a private monthly exclusive 4 couple gathering for an equal time until we moved.

Now, with Mrs. Euro, we started off slow, and still prefer only 3-4 meets per year.  We still go to the clubs when in town, have fun, but no plan to hook-up, just enjoy each other.

As time goes, quality becomes more important than quantity.

And, one learns that rejection is part of this hobby, you just move on, you already have your significant other that matters, anything else, just fun, nothing serious.