On Being a Single Guy...

We do grow on trees, and we can be purchased almost everywhere at the current price of a dime a dozen.

My name is Single Guy, and we are legion. And we don't get much respect in the Swinging world.  If the Single Bi-Girl is the prized, elusive Unicorn, who is to be treasured, then the Single Guy is more along lines of a dirty, smelly Stray Dog.

We are eternal second-class citizens, paying extortionate prices to get into a club (even if a couple brings you) and browsing profiles that go out of their way to say "NO SINGLE MALES!!!!!!" or "We are looking for couples, women, and SELECT SINGLE MALES" (just wondering- does this mean you are not selective about your couples and single women? In that case you might as well just say, "We'll fuck anyone and anything, except for SINGLE MALES. WE ONLY WANT SELECT SINGLE MALES!"

i get it. A lot of us single guys are kind of stupid, sex-obsessed, rude, and crude jackasses. Some of us more, some of us less.  Unfortunately I fear this is due less to us being single and more due to us being male. Oh how many times have I posted an ad for a woman or couple and received a response from some single guy hoping desperation might make me less selective (it doesn't). It will happen whether I say NO SINGLE GUYS or not. So I just accept it as inevitable and stop being annoyed.

What is funny though, is that (and I don't think I am going out on a limb saying this...) for every couple out there (except for the lesbians) at least one member use to be a  SINGLE MALE. You earned a promotion.

Have you forgotten what it was like in those dark single days?  All those times you spent forever trying to come up with the perfectly clever email that showed all the reasons the couple should pick you (as they requested you do) knowing that you probably won't hear from them. A Unicorn, on the other hand, need only send her picture and an address, and within minutes a limo with a heavily armed escort will be heading to pick her up and bring her safely to the couple.

Even if you pass the audition, you exist to serve a sexual purpose, are expendable, and will likely only play with the couple once or twice. It will be rare, no matter what people may tell you, that you will form a friendship.

It isn't exactly the easiest of existences. So on behalf of other SINGLE MALES out there (including even the stupid dumbass ones), I ask the couples and the unicorns of the swingers' world to take just a little pity on us.  We might be single, and male, but we are still people, dammit!  #weshallovervomeoursinglemaleness  #singlemalesneedloveandlusttoo


07-08-2018 by EZM
Let the responses to this begin in....3...2..1
Cue said responses from the particularly insecure and immature advertised from New Mexico and Florida.
07-08-2018 by ATXPHOTOG
Really good thoughts and personal musings about being single, and an admitted "introvert" like me. Kinky50 you're well spoken and unabashed about being a single. Bravo. There's no shame in who you are. 

I was attacked and condemned for my post a few weeks ago and I simply was sharing my views as an introvert in the lifestyle. The posters made assumptions about me that were patently false, but I had zero interest in debating such mindsets. 

You will eventually meet the quality couple or single woman who appreciates who you are. I like your credo, too: "We might be single, and male, but we are still people, dammit!" Yes, let's be decent with one another. Please.

- ATXphoto
07-08-2018 by SHARELION711
So why would someone enter an arena rife with such disdain for them? Why not take another path, like a hook up or dating site. As a couple, we have not had a bad experience with a SM. Not opposed to them being on SDC, but it seems like supply way outdoes demand, and then the conditions you mention arise. Everyone should get respect. My only objection are those misrepresenting themselves. If you are a SM, just admit it and do not pose as a couple. 
07-09-2018 by EUROMEXCOUPLE

Yes, at one time, used to be a single male in this lifestyle.  In between marriages.

What helped me was the experiences with single males during the first marriage. I learned how not to act as a single male.

So when the time came, put those lessons to work.  I did not want to be a single male, but I was bitten by the hobby, and I wanted to continue in some manner. But all along, I did hope to run into a relationship in or out of the lifestyle. That is just me.

The problem single males have is their number compared to demand.  Then that is compounded by the vast majority being inexperienced, cheating spouses, and just assholes, all of that gives all of the single males a bad rap.

I learned, as a single male, I am not a "swinger", at least not by the original definition of swingers: two or more hetero couples exchanging spouses for recreational sex. I brought nothing to the party.  I would be an accessory to the couple that let me into their bedroom, so I learned to respect that scenario, especially the husband's role.

I did not assume that chemistry on the part of both spouses was not important. Most women will not fuck you merely because you have a dick.  Her husband has that already, there needs to be something more.

I learned I need to read profiles thoroughly, be sure a SM is OK. If not, no matter what, I would not contact. Today, one of our issues is single males looking at the photos, but not reading our profile, and still contacting us.  Or a single male that would send a message just to the Mrs., something like "hay beautiful, I would love to meet you and see where we go".  Last week "are you into cyber sex you have great breasts and I am so horny".


And at clubs, we have actually had SMs great angry at us for not being interested in them, asking us why were we there.  Like they assume a woman in this lifestyle will fuck any and everyone.  Respect, another issue. I learned that right away.  You must respect the male half of the couple.

Lately, the Mrs. has said no more single males, too many are just boorish, impressed with the size of their penis, and not really interested in the feelings of their partner. Another lesson, most single males seem to only be interested in getting laid, not what they do for a woman.

Here is where I interject that in all of these years, I have run across some real gentlemen. But they seem to get married and move on leaving just the "deplorables".

No need to go any further with an explanation. For those few legit single males, your biggest issue are the so many really pathetic single males that come before you and fuck it up for you.  Make yourself special, a standout.

So OP, no sympathy, no pity for you or any single male. No reason. If  you are one of those true gentlemen, and you know who your are, you do not need sympathy or pity. You are already having a good time being "used" by a couple. No disrespect meant. I enjoyed being used by a couple, at least the female half.  I much prefer the action now with another couple.

And to the OP again, first your comment about "select single males" and trying to twist that into meaning they will fuck any couple or single female, but are selective about single males, please, that self pity is not impressive, get over yourself.   And then this: "#singlemalesneedloveandlusttoo", really?  Then go find a girlfriend. Why are you depending on someone else's wife for this??

Thanks for the opportunity to respond.

Hey PORCELIN DICK, hope this response meets your unwanted approval. But then honesty is not your usual policy. 

07-09-2018 by BROADSTROKES
You're going to get attacked for this post. Prepare for unwanted hostility, insecurity, false claims and pseudo-intellectual responses.
07-09-2018 by
First, thank you all for your comments so far. Secondly, many of you seem to be taking my post far more seriously than I myself did, and I wrote the manner in which I wrote with my tongue planted firmly in cheek.  There are certain grains of truth embedded  within, but I have written it in such an exaggerated, over the top way (creating hashtags...c'mon folks...did you really think I was being serious???) It is based in some truths, but mostly meant to be fucking humorous. Please lighten up.

If you didn't "get" the humor, that is fine. but nowhere have I personally attacked anyone or anything. I have not generalized anything to all couples or all swinging. There are great couples out there and great experiences and not so great couples and experiences.  So please refrain from personally directed comments such as  telling me to "get a girlfriend".  If you are not sure about something I have written, then feel free to ask me. If you want to say something personal keep it to yourself.  Please don't presume to think you know me off what you read in a single blog post, and I will show you the same courtesy. 

In regards to the SELECT MALES part of my blog that prompted one reader to tell me to "get over myself" (*waves to Euromexcouple* Hi there! My name is Joseph and it is so nice to meet ya"ll). Again, in a very exaggerated way I am just pointing out that saying SELECT MALES is a rather meaningless phrase. EVERYONE WE CHOOSE TO PLAY WITH IS "SELECT". Why feel the need to direct it to single men....especially as people seem to say it doesnt really stop single guys from contacting you.  You may agree or disagree with me, which is fine, but you will keep your disagreement respectful or I will delete the comments. I will also possibly send you a lovely, handcrafted email, suitable for framing, to say hi and let you know exactly how I feel.

I think I have said enough and this is the only time I will respond to comments about this blog entry. 

Again, for God's sake, please stop taking it all so seriously.
07-09-2018 by
LOL @EZM & Broadstrokes

Unfortunately many single guys wreck it for the good single guys and it’s a shame. Many don’t have proper etiquette whatsoever. 

Paul & I both have great friendships with several single guys in the LS. They are no threat to our relationship. And if it wasn’t for those singles guys then my fun would be VERY limited. Plus we team up with other couples and we like to add single guys to our fun. Some of us females need multiple guys to satisfy us. Call us greedy if you may. But the majority of the husbands of couples cannot satisfy me as a single guy can. So thank you single guys for existing!! At least let me thank the ones who are respectful, show class, know how to operate in the LS and most importantly can fuck me good!!!! 
07-09-2018 by WILLCOOL
great post,love the humor and the play on words.
07-09-2018 by STRIPPERSROCK
Not every couple out there is opposed to single males.  We have a disclosure on our profile on how we would like the contact and original interaction to go.  Some read and follow and others don't.  The ones that can't follow the rules during contact, more than likely can't follow them if we ever met and played.  Sure we have had some rude interactions with single males, but then again we have with couples as well as single females.  Everyone loves a single female, until they realize she thinks she is a prize and acts like it.
I honestly think EuroMexico does nothing except comment on blog after blog to do nothing but stir up hate and discontent.  Apparently they play a few times a years and claim to have so much experience.  We have done more in a week, then they have in a year.  If I have a drivers license for 30 years but only drive once a year, that does NOT make me an experienced driver, so why don't you STFU Euro.  Wish you were closer, I'd love to meet you for a cup of coffee.  Everyone sees how many pics of him are on there versus her.
For us, SM are okay when we are in the mood for one.  We always make contact via a messaging app and once I have a good feeling, they can chat with the wife.  Sext, whatever they want to do.  Then we meet for a drink and see how that goes, if it goes well, we wind up hosting the majority of the time.  We judge each SM individually and not paint them all with the same brush.  Sure there are assholes out there but some are couples and some are drunk unicorns and some are single males.  As far as turning them down, the cowards behind the keyboard sometimes give you hell, but never in person.  Damn near every club I have ever gone to and that is alot, from Amsterdam to New York, Florida, Atlanta, Texas and Arizona, if a couple encounters a problem with a single male, simply notifying the staff normally rectifies the problem by removing the single male.  
I do not know why people have to be so critical of others.  regardless of their status, we are all people and deserve to be at least initially treated with respect.
07-09-2018 by BROADSTROKES

If someone needs the humor of this blog pointed out to them, they don't have a stick up their ass.  They have a fucking forest up their ass.
07-10-2018 by GG49
funny stuff...the curse of being a DSM... :) the heavily armed escort is classic...Euromex aside (he had a humorectomy as a youth) - hilarious!
07-10-2018 by LOVE4UNME
Funny blog and in your humor you spewed truth..... Love most of the responses, much truth in those as well. Still waiting for two other single male bashing fuck tards that always come around when single males post anything from an observation to a recipe... I.e back when I was a single male.... blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, we do include single males in what is called, (swinging lifestyle) as many don't recognize them in it. You have your place and for many, you are welcome. Do your thing. :)