Yes, at one time, used to be a single male in this lifestyle. In between marriages.
What helped me was the experiences with single males during the first marriage. I learned how not to act as a single male.
So when the time came, put those lessons to work. I did not want to be a single male, but I was bitten by the hobby, and I wanted to continue in some manner. But all along, I did hope to run into a relationship in or out of the lifestyle. That is just me.
The problem single males have is their number compared to demand. Then that is compounded by the vast majority being inexperienced, cheating spouses, and just assholes, all of that gives all of the single males a bad rap.
I learned, as a single male, I am not a "swinger", at least not by the original definition of swingers: two or more hetero couples exchanging spouses for recreational sex. I brought nothing to the party. I would be an accessory to the couple that let me into their bedroom, so I learned to respect that scenario, especially the husband's role.
I did not assume that chemistry on the part of both spouses was not important. Most women will not fuck you merely because you have a dick. Her husband has that already, there needs to be something more.
I learned I need to read profiles thoroughly, be sure a SM is OK. If not, no matter what, I would not contact. Today, one of our issues is single males looking at the photos, but not reading our profile, and still contacting us. Or a single male that would send a message just to the Mrs., something like "hay beautiful, I would love to meet you and see where we go". Last week "are you into cyber sex you have great breasts and I am so horny".
And at clubs, we have actually had SMs great angry at us for not being interested in them, asking us why were we there. Like they assume a woman in this lifestyle will fuck any and everyone. Respect, another issue. I learned that right away. You must respect the male half of the couple.
Lately, the Mrs. has said no more single males, too many are just boorish, impressed with the size of their penis, and not really interested in the feelings of their partner. Another lesson, most single males seem to only be interested in getting laid, not what they do for a woman.
Here is where I interject that in all of these years, I have run across some real gentlemen. But they seem to get married and move on leaving just the "deplorables".
No need to go any further with an explanation. For those few legit single males, your biggest issue are the so many really pathetic single males that come before you and fuck it up for you. Make yourself special, a standout.
So OP, no sympathy, no pity for you or any single male. No reason. If you are one of those true gentlemen, and you know who your are, you do not need sympathy or pity. You are already having a good time being "used" by a couple. No disrespect meant. I enjoyed being used by a couple, at least the female half. I much prefer the action now with another couple.
And to the OP again, first your comment about "select single males" and trying to twist that into meaning they will fuck any couple or single female, but are selective about single males, please, that self pity is not impressive, get over yourself. And then this: "#singlemalesneedloveandlusttoo", really? Then go find a girlfriend. Why are you depending on someone else's wife for this??
Thanks for the opportunity to respond.