Wife realized on Friday she had the Monday off, and felt like playing on Sunday night. Can you please get friends together real quick? Just say it’s to watch the Cowboys game.
Lesson #1: Don’t tell your husband he is going to soon have sex with friends when he is driving, his mind will wander off and he won’t pay attention to the road anymore!
So I get on the phone, text friends who live real close as nobody is going to want to travel 45 minutes for a last second booty call on a Sunday night. Some of our best friends are available, but want to bring a couple. So I find another couple, now there’s 8 of us. Decent crowd for a last minute Sunday night. I am thinking: it’s going to be an orgy in a big pile all night.
Lesson #2: stop dreaming! That big pile is never going to happen! Especially on a Sunday night when couples are going to be recovering from their Saturday night or wanting to leave early to not be too hungover for work.
Luckily our friends are like us: they want to start early. So we start drinking at 5pm, eat burgers at 6:30pm, watch the game from the hot tub at 7:30pm. The New couple Bestfriend brought are real nice. I can tell NewLady wants to play with me (she laughs at my stupid jokes), but I gotta let Bestfriend go first. They’ve known each other for a long time, they’ve never played, they are all finally in the mood,.... I shouldn’t stand in their way. So I concentrate on GreatGirl.
Lesson #3: Don’t cockblock your friends. If a good buddy has clearly indicated his intentions (like: “imma finally fuck that girl”), don’t stand in his way!
We start in the hot tub, watching the game. Slow game, so sexy things start happening. People switch places to get next to the person they want to play with. Heavy petting ensued.
Lesson #4: When a woman grabs your cock under water, it’s usually a sign that she wants you!
We migrate inside. Chlorine can be bad for vaginas so we always caution our guests about it. Play on clean sheets!
Lesson #5: it’s also easier to put a condom on when you are on a bed rather then underwater. And it’s not easy to argue that getting condoms out of the pool filters is regular maintenance.
Everyone plays, gets back on the patio. The game is going into overtime. And we lose. Wife is diehard fan and is so mad she goes: “I need to erase this from my brain. Let’s get some overtime too. Let’s go for round 2. I need some cock”. NewLady wants me to go but NewGuy is done and wants to go home. BestFriend and BestGirlfriend are going home too. Me and GreatGirl stay on the patio to chat whilst Wife and GreatGuy go fuck.
Lesson #6: you want to check on your wife from time to time when she plays in a separate room. Except if you can hear her every 3 minutes from the patio. Then you would just ruin the mood by walking in.
GreatGirl tells me that they just expected to have a burger and watch the game. I always have zero expectations too, but I am thinking: for someone who was not necessarily in the mood, wow! What is it when she expects good sex!
Lesson #7: Sometimes I could be more explicit, like: “come to our house for burgers, the game, naked hot tub fun and fuck time”. But then that would sounds a bit too direct, wouldn’t it?
An hour later, Wife is done. We still cary on chatting until 2 am on the patio.
Lesson #8: Most people get to know each other, then have sex. We usually do the opposite! It’s more fun!
Lesson #9: Don’t party when your wife has the day off the next day and you don’t! Or get ready to have to perform at 2am again with her and still be in the office at 8am!