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Welcome to SDC.com, the world’s largest lifestyle community to hook up with open-minded couples and singles, swingers and kinksters. Connect with members near you with features like live video streaming, local parties and clubs, instant messaging, speed dating, and advanced search. Discover SDC members online right now. Find hookups, threesomes and moresomes today!
When you enter the lifestyle, there might be some terminology you’re unfamiliar with. This is a list of words and descriptions that you may encounter and are meant to help you navigate swinger relationships, open relationships, polyamory, other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, as well as BDSM, kink and fetish scenes.
– A –
ABRASION Stimulation of the skin causing friction by rubbing, grinding, or using materials like leather, brushes, rough fabrics, etc.
AC/DC Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual
ADULT Euphemism for 21+ (or 18+ where applicable) and used to indicate sexual or pornographic content
AFTERCARE In BDSM circles, aftercare involves the Dominant caring for the submissive, emotionally and/or physically following a BDSM scene. This is usually done to help ease the intensity of the submissive's experience and soothe them. Aftercare can be different for different people and is usually dependent on the submissive's individual needs, and can be of varying durations (from minutes to hours or days afterwards). For example, caressing the hair, saying comforting things, wrapping in a blanket, getting the submissive something to eat/drink, cuddling, etc.
AGE PLAY Within the fetish / kink community, age play refers to consensual roleplay that involves the nurturing aspects of a relationship with a significant age difference. This might not necessarily mean that the individuals participating in age play do have a significant age difference. In age play, participants might use names such as "little", "little girl", "little boy", to signify the younger participant; "Daddy", "Mommy" or other terms may be used for the older participant. Age play might include non-sexual activities such as playtime, bedtime, homework, etc.
AIRTIGHT A consensual group sex or gangbang activity wherein a person with a vagina is simultaneously penetrated in their mouth, vagina, and anus.
ALL Person or couple up for all fetishes and sexual activities
AMERICAN A term used to describe a sexual position that traditionally has the female underneath and the man on top; also known as missionary position.
ANAL Refers to anal sex or anal play; play where the anus may be rimmed and/or penetrated with fingers, penis, or sex toys.
ANAL BEADS A set of beads, usually made of body-safe plastic, silicone, metal, glass, or other materials, which can be of varying sizes, and are strung together and used to insert into the anus for anal pleasure.
ANAL PLUG A sex toy shaped for use in the anus; also used for "ass training" to stretch out the anus; a.k.a., butt plug or just "plug". In anal training, people often begin with smaller anal plugs and gradually increase the size of the plug as their comfort level increases and their body acclimates to the new toy. Importantly, anal plugs have a flared base that prevents the toy from getting lost within the anal cavity and ensures safe removal. Decorative anal plugs can have a jewel or tail at the base.
ANAL TORTURE BDSM practice of inflicting pain on a person's anus in a way that may give them sexual pleasure.
ANILINGUS Refers to the use of a person's mouth to orally stimulate another person's anus by kissing, licking, sucking, or rimming, for the purpose of sexual pleasure.
ARTS Within the kink community, this can be used as a euphemism for fetishes.
– B –
B&D Refers to the "B" and "D" within the term BDSM: "Bondage" and "Discipline". Within BDSM, participants, usually a "Dominant" and a "submissive", might use a variety of sexual and non-sexual activities such as bondage and discipline to stimulate arousal. In bondage scenarios within BDSM, a Dominant might tie up or otherwise restrain a submissive's body parts, as a form of control, and may then perform other acts on the submissive while they are restrained. The bondage may also be an end to itself, such as in the case of Shibari art, for the submissive's pleasure of being bound.
BALL STRETCHING An activity which can be done during BDSM play which involves the Dominant using constraints and weights to provide a variety of sensations while stretching their submissive's scrotum.
BAREBACKING A sexual act referring to a person with a penis penetrating someone's vagina or anus without the use of a condom, hence, "bare".
BBW Often a term or genre referred to in pornography or erotica, Big Beautiful Woman means a female who is confidently voluptuous.
BDSM BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. This encompasses the themes of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. This can involve the psychological as well as the physical aspects of BDSM, and can be softcore to hardcore. BDSM is always done CONSENSUALLY. This means that the Submissive gives permission to their Dominant to do these activities to them, and both partners are aware of the boundaries and agree to them before play.
Refers to the "B" and "D" within the term BDSM: "Bondage" and "Discipline". Within BDSM, participants, usually a "Dominant" and a "submissive", might use a variety of sexual and non-sexual activities such as bondage and discipline to stimulate arousal. In bondage scenarios within BDSM, a Dominant might tie up or otherwise restrain a submissive's body parts, as a form of control, and may then perform other acts on the submissive while they are restrained. The bondage may also be an end to itself, such as in the case of Shibari art, for the submissive's pleasure of being bound.
BI-CURIOUS Typically refers to a heterosexual person who has an interest or "curiosity" to explore sexual activities with someone of the same gender. Within the open lifestyle, people who are "situationally bisexual", meaning that given a certain scenario or person may be interested in playing with someone of the same gender, can also fall into this category of bi-curious.
BISEXUAL Bisexual, bi; a person with physical and/or emotional attraction to their own and other genders
BJ Also known as "fellatio", a "blow job" means oral sex performed on a person with a penis, but can also be used to describe oral sex done on someone wearing a strap-on dildo.
BLACK SHEET PARTY A slang term used for an orgy involving people who are into BDSM.
BONDAGE Bondage is known as restrictive play and involves tying or strapping a SUBMISSIVE, with rope, cuffs, etc in a manner that prevents them from moving. This can be done with the intention of performing sexual acts on the Submissive, but sometimes bondage can be an end in itself (because the Submissive enjoys being bound) or as an art form (e.g., Shibari bondage).
BOOT WORSHIP Within the BDSM / kink community, boot worship is known as a fetish revolving around the Dominant's boots or footwear, in which the submissive might kiss, lick, caress, or otherwise idolize their Dominant's boots to show reverence, devotion, or humility; may also be used as a disciplinary tactic on behalf of the Dominant who commands that their submissive worship their boots as a form of humiliation.
BREATH PLAY a.k.a., Erotic asphyxiation, Breath Play is an activity where a person experiences temporary euphoria due to the oxygen deprivation and lack of blood flow to their brain. This can be done within the context of BDSM or kink play, but may also be used outside of those scenarios. Typically, the Dominant, or the person who is asphyxiating the breathless individual or submissive, will carefully cover the person's mouth and nose and suffocate them, or choke them by applying pressure to the carotid artery in their neck. Because asphyxiation is inherently dangerous, breath play is done with the utmost caution and requires understanding the limits of a person's physical and psychological well-being to ensure that it is done safely.
Breath play can also be practiced solo, without a partner, and this is termed "auto-erotic asphyxiation".
BUKKAKE Bukkake is the Japanese word for splash. In a sexual context, bukkake refers to the act of multiple men ejaculating on one person's body at the same time, typically in the context of group sex or gangbang scenarios.
BULL The male who takes sexual "ownership" over another man's female partner at their invitation; in short, the male who services the HOTWIFE or VIXEN
CAN ENTERTAIN Used within the context of party or event descriptions, refers to a person, couple or people open to hosting others in their home for the purpose of sexual activities.
CAN TRAVEL Person, couple, or people who are able and willing to travel a distance to meet others for sexual activities.
CANING Within the context of BDSM, caning is a fetish used in impact play that involves the Dominant spanking, hitting, or tapping a submissive's body parts. Caning is usually used for discipline purposes but can also be done as a warm-up to more intense impact play using other implements.
CHEATING
Engaging in sexual activity with others without consent of spouse
CISGENDER A term used to describe when a person's gender matches the gender with which they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned a female when they were born (i.e. by a medical practitioner on their birth certificate) continues to feel like and identify as a female as they grow up, is considered cisgendered. Gender is a fluid concept and can change over time.
CLOSED DOOR/CLOSED SWINGING Within the context of swinging or open relationships, "closed" often refers to open couples who feel comfortable engaging in separate sexual activities in different rooms or locations from their primary partners.
CLOSET SWINGER Person hiding the fact that they are a swinger. This can be the case for people who are high-profile or whose professional reputation, culture, religion, or social group do not permit them to be open about their lifestyle.
COCK RING A sex toy in an O shape or ring shape designed to wrap around the base of a person's penis and/or balls, which is used to increase and/or concentrate blood flow during self-stimulation and sex, potentially leading to longer-lasting erections. Some cock rings may also feature a shape that simultaneously stimulates the perineum and/or the anus for added pleasure. Some cock rings also have an attachment, for instance, "rabbit ears" designed to provide extra stimulation to their partner's clitoris during sex. Vibrating cock rings and remote-controlled cock rings can be helpful tools for couples to increase intimacy in their sex lives. Note: cock rings must be put on while the wearer's penis is not erect.
COCK WORSHIP When a person spends a lot of time and attention stimulating someone's penis or dildo to give them pleasure and show devotion. This often involves oral sex and/or manual stimulation, and may be included as part of BDSM play by the submissive on their Dominant.
COLLAR Within the BDSM community, a submissive may wear a collar or necklace around their neck to signify that they are "owned" by, dedicated to, or under the control of a Dominant. In BDSM, collaring a submissive can be very ceremonial and significant.
COMPERSION Within open relationships, especially polyamory, compersion is the opposite of jealousy, and refers to a person's emotional satisfaction of knowing and/or seeing the joy that their partner experiences with other people romantically, platonically, and/or sexually. Compersion is not necessary for open relationships to work. A person might experience feelings of compersion for their partner in some scenarios and with some partners, but may experience jealousy at other times.
CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY Relationships and/or intimacy with more than one partner. Consensual or ethical non-monogamy means that all the partners involved are aware that their relationships are not exclusive, and there are other partners involved. Includes POLYAMORY and SWINGERS. This is not the same as cheating, in which one partner is not aware of their partner's activities.
CONSENT The explicit permission for any sexual activity, it can be retracted before and during sexual activity
COUGAR A slang term for a female who has a sexual and/or romantic preference for significantly younger partners.
COUPLE / CPL A couple is defined as two people who are in a sexual and/or romantic relationship. This includes couples who are dating, married, cohabiting, or who commonly play together in certain scenarios (e.g. two single individuals). Being a couple does not necessitate a monogamous relationship; couples can also be open and in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship which may involve other partners.
CROSSDRESSER Formerly known as transvestite, a crossdresser is an individual who wears clothes of the opposite gender they were assigned at birth
CUCKOLD Cuckolding is the practice of a couple in which the male partner wants to watch his partner have sexual relations with another individual (or several individuals), without his direct sexual involvement. In this case, the male "cuckold" acts as a VOYEUR and is often (but not always) present to witness his partner engaging in sexual acts with the third person (or more people). Often (but not always), the cuckold takes on a SUBMISSIVE role and may also want his partner to humiliate him verbally (and/or physically) during this time with the third partner present (e.g. "He's more of a man than you are," etc.). This is done with the male's consent (not the same as a man witnessing his wife cheating without his consent). The female version of this is called "CUCKQUEANING" or "Cuckqueanry," in which the female plays the role of the Submissive who is witnessing their partner engaging in these acts with another person (or several people).
CUCKOLDRESS A woman who cuckolds her husband/boyfriend; an adulterous woman who cuckolds her male partner
CUCKQUEAN The female in a relationship consensually watches or is forced to watch her husband play with others
CUFFS Often used within BDSM scenarios, cuffs fasten and/or lock around a submissive's wrists and/or ankles to restrict their movement. Cuffs can be attached to tables, beds, poles, etc. or to themselves. In a hogtie, a person's ankles and wrists are bound together behind their backs.
CUM A commonly-used slang term for a person's ejaculate or sexual fluids. Cumming may refer to either or both the action of climaxing as well as ejaculating. Fluid play can often involve cum.
CUNNILINGUS Oral sex performed on a person with a vagina to stimulate their vulva and/or clitoris. Oral sex may include penetration with a person's tongue and/or fingers and/or sex toys to increase pleasure. Often known as a form of foreplay prior to penetrative sex, cunnilingus can help increase a person's sexual arousal to make it more likely for them to have an orgasm during penetrative sex. Cunnilingus can (and should) be performed as an end to itself for the receiver's sexual pleasure.
– D –
DILDO A sex toy that may resemble a phallus, made out of silicone, rubber, plastic, metal, or glass that can be used for sexual stimulation, often for the purposes of penetration. Some dildos vibrate. Dildos can be shaped to stimulate the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the G-spot, and/or the anus. A double-ended dildo can be used to achieve dual stimulation to penetrate two individuals simultaneously. A strap-on dildo can be worn with a harness by someone with or without a penis for the purpose of penetrating another person.
DISCIPLINARIAN An authority role represented in the "D" in "BDSM." A type of DOMINANT or TOP, a Disciplinarian focuses on punishment as their form of Domination for their SUBMISSIVE or BOTTOM.
DISCIPLINE Discipline can also be called "behavior correction" and can involve the DOMINANT using sadist activities, bondage, or psychological domination with the SUBMISSIVE.
DISCREET / DISCRETION Refers to an individual who is exercising and seeking caution when it comes to communication and shared media to keep them secret, often because they do not want their activities known by others. Anyone might seek discretion, but this might be more common in the contexts of kink and/or open communities.
DOCILE Within the kink community, docile refers to a submissive individual who is willing to receive bondage and/or discipline from a Dominant.
DOMESTIC TRAINING Submissive obedience with a focus to intimate and/or humiliating household chores
DOMINANT Dominance can be physical and/or psychological. This is done by the Dominant (aka Dom or Master or Top) to the SUBMISSIVE (aka Sub or Slave or Bottom). It can involve everything from verbal commands (e.g. "you're mine") to physical commands ("get on your knees"). Dominance and SUBMISSION (also called D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can also be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. See BDSM for more info.
DP Double penetration means that both the vagina and anus are penetrated during sexual play. DVP refers to Double Vaginal Penetration, which means that two phalluses are penetrating the vagina simultaneously, while DAP (a.k.a. Double Anal Penetration) refers to two phalluses penetrating the anus at the same time. In an "airtight", double penetration is involved as well as simultaneous oral penetration and often happens in group sex or orgy scenarios.
DRAG QUEEN / DRAG KING A Drag Queen is typically a male-presenting person who dresses head-to-toe in a hyper-femme aesthetic. When dressed for entertainment purposes, a Drag Queen also assumes their character's identity during their act. A Drag King is a typically female-presenting person assuming a masculine aesthetic.
DUNGEON A room or area with BDSM equipment and/or play space.
DUNGEON MASTER Within the BDSM community and kink play, a Dungeon Master (a.k.a. a DM) is a supervisor who enforces house rules at a play party or dungeon to ensure that consent and safety are respected.
EDGE PLAY (AKA EDGEPLAY) Within the BDSM lifestyle, Edge Play (also known as Edgeplay) refers to SM (sadistic/masochistic) play that involves the possibility of physical and/or emotional harm and/or danger and/or death. This is a high-risk type of play and falls under risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) that requires consent, knowledge of the physical / psychological boundaries of those involved, and the possible risks and consequences of the specific edgeplay. Examples of edge play include breath play (AKA breathplay, which is erotic asphyxiation), knife play, fire play, wax play, and blood play, among other types of risky activities. Safety measures (physical as well as psychological) are crucial to consider for all kinds of high-risk play. Because of the emotional and physical intensity of edgeplay, aftercare is absolutely recommended (as it is also needed after any kind of BDSM play) to ensure the physical and psychological well-being of anyone involved in the scene.
Edgeplay is not to be confused with edging, which involves denying and/or delaying orgasm for the purpose of building up sexual pleasure as well as a possible means of control.
EDGING A sexual technique involving denying and delaying someone of their orgasm; bringing a person close to climax but not allowing them to orgasm. Edging can often lead to a buildup of pleasure and intensify the person's resulting climax, if an orgasm does arise afterwards. Edging is more commonly used in BDSM scenarios as a means of controlling a submissive's pleasure but can also be used in any sexual situation. Not to be confused with "edge play".
ELECTRIC PLAY Also known as "Electrosex" or "erotic electrostimulation", electric play involves the exploration of the stimulating effects of applying electric pulses (e.g. using a "violet wand", which safely transforms an electrical current into a stream of sparks that can stimulate the skin) to a person's body parts for the purposes of excitement and/or sexual gratification. Electric play is a kink that can be explored within the BDSM community as a technique used by dominants on their submissives to control their pleasure. This kind of kink requires knowing and understanding the limits of a person's safe physical and psychological thresholds of the voltage of the electrical currents and the areas of the body on which electric play can be safely used. Contrary to popular belief, when done properly and safely, electric play can be quite stimulating and pleasurable.
ELLIS Ellis is a code for L.S. aka Lifestyle, referring to the open and/or swinger lifestyle. The question “Are you a friend of Ellis?” can help discreetly identify those in the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality and maintaining secrecy.
ENTERTAIN Most commonly referred to in dating profiles when it is mentioned "can entertain", which refers to when a person, couple, or group is open to hosting others in their home for erotic and/or sexual activities.
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AKA "ED". When a person with a penis is unable to achieve an erection. This could be due to physiological (e.g. prostate issues, inflammation, the side effect of medication, hormone therapy, etc.) and/or psychological reasons (e.g. anxiety, depression, nervousness, etc.). Oral medications and topical treatments may be very helpful in treating erectile dysfunction in people with penises. Erectile dysfunction is more common than you might expect. If you are experiencing erectile dysfunction, know that there is no shame in having ED! Consult a medical professional as soon as possible for treatment options and to ensure that the erectile dysfunction is not a result of a more serious underlying condition.
EXHIBITIONIST Someone who enjoys being watched during sexual activity. Includes sharing erotic and explicit photos and videos.
– F –
F A letter used to designate Female, often seen in dating profiles and erotic event descriptions involving the guests who are allowed to attend.
FACE SLAPPING A consensual activity that involves a person slapping another person in the face before and/or during sexual activity. This kink can be seen in BDSM scenarios wherein face slapping is used for humiliation, degradation, and/or control of a submissive by their Dominant.
FANTASY ABANDONMENT BDSM play where a submissive is left in a certain area to exert control and/or as a form of punishment
FELCHING A sexual activity that involves the act of orally sucking semen out of a person's anus. May or may not be coupled with "snowballing", in which the person then spits or shares the semen with the person whose anus out of which they just sucked the semen.
FELLATIO Oral sexual stimulation of a person's penis by mouth, tongue, lips, and/or teeth. More colloquially known as a BJ or Blow Job.
FETISH In kink terms, fetishes exist when a person is sexually aroused by a non-sexual object, piece of clothing, actions, and/or non-genital anatomy. For instance, foot fetishes, which are one of the most common types of fetishes, involve a person being aroused by hearing about, seeing, smelling, and/or touching a person's foot or feet.
Fetishes can be explored safely and are not harmful to a person's mental health in and of itself, and are nothing to be ashamed of. In the rare case that a fetish is illicit or dangerous to a person's physical well-being, and/or preoccupies a person's life in a way that can impede their relationships, personal lives and/or professional lives, seeking help and advice of a kink-friendly mental health professional is advised.
FIGGING A sexual practice in which a piece of peeled ginger root is inserted into the anus or vagina, which can create a burning sensation. This is included within the BDSM umbrella as a type of "sensation play".
FISTING A sexual activity in which a person uses their entire hand to stimulate a person's vagina and/or anus from the inside. When done properly and with the right preparation, fisting can be extremely pleasurable and stimulate a person's erogenous areas that are often hard to reach and stimulate via conventional toys and penetration.
Fisting can be a very intense experience for the receiver, who requires mental and physical preparation prior to getting fisted, ensuring the person getting fisted is well lubricated and relaxed. Communication between the receiver and giver is absolutely necessary to ensure a pleasurable and safe time for everyone involved.
Fisting can be dangerous and painful if not performed correctly (e.g. scratched by a person's nails from the inside). For safer fisting play, wearing latex or nitrile gloves is recommended to prevent scratches, abrasions, and the transmission of some sexually-transmitted infections and/or diseases.
FLAGGELLATION Sexual stimulation through pain, usually whipping or spanking
Self-flaggelation
FLOGGER A BDSM whip device with many "tails" used on buttocks, back, and/or genital areas
FLOGGING HORSE A bench-like device used to secure someone in a mounted position for the BDSM activity FLOGGING
FOREPLAY Sexual activities performed between sexual partners before sex that leads to arousal. For example, fingering, handjobs, oral sex, touching, caressing, erotic massage, kissing, etc.
FRENCH CULTURE Oral-genital sexual activity; aka Fellatio, Cunnilingus
FULL SWAP A swinger term for when a couple exchanges partners for (typically penetrative) sexual activity
GAG Form of BDSM play where the use of the mouth is restricted by inserting a gag (i.e., cloth, leather, ballgag, etc.)
GANGBANG A gangbang is a situation in which several people engage in physical sexual activity with one specific individual sequentially or at the same time. That specific individual is the central focus of the sexual activity; for example, it could be one woman surrounded by several men or a man with multiple women. See also BUKKAKE.
GATES OF HELL A type of BDSM cock ring used to restrict blood flow; usually made out of metal with several rings attached together ranging from larger at the base to smaller toward the tip of the penis
GAY A person with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender, typically used to indicate two males; a.k.a., homosexual
GENITORTURE Form of BSDM play where pain is inflicted to the genitals for sexual gratification
GOKKUN A Japanese term meaning "gulp" used to describe a sexual activity involving the consumption of semen from one or more partners, often from a serving vessel; generally performed at the end of BUKKAKE
GROUP ROOM Room dedicated to group sex, usually furnished with mattresses or mats
GROUP SEX Group sex usually involves four or more people, even if not everyone is sexually involved with each of the partners
HOT HUSBANDRY The male equivalent of the HOTWIFING scenario
HOTWIFE/HOTWIFING A roleplay fetish involving a woman who has sexual play sessions outside of her relationship with full consent, permission, and encouragement from her husband/partner
KINBAKU (a.k.a., Shibari) A Japanese style of bondage of creating visually-intricate patterns with rope
– L –
LEATHER A fetish; sexual arousal by wearing or touching leather or leather garments
LEATHER DADDY / MOMMY A person of leadership and influence in the LEATHER community of BDSM, a Leather Daddy / Mommy takes on the role and responsibility of a Top and/or Dom(me) in dynamics typically known as Daddy/boy and Mommy/girl.
LESBIAN A female with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender
LGBTQIA+ Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. The plus indicates that there are more identities, and the current full acronym is LGBTQQIAAP (the remaining letters are: Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, and Pansexual, with even more identities that fall under the Gender and Sexuality Minorities umbrella.
LOVER A sexual partner. Could be an individual who is single or already in a relationship, engaging with multiple partners and relationships.
MARITAL Devices used for sexual stimulation of self and others
MASOCHISM Masochism or to be a "masochist" is to get sexual pleasure from receiving physical or psychological pain that is inflicted by another person (usually the DOMINANT). Typically the SUBMISSIVE/Slave/Bottom is the person receiving pain from the Master/DOMINANT/Top.
MASOCHISTIC CUCKOLD A man who experiences sexual pleasure from humiliation and degradation by his female partner (CUCKOLDRESS) and BULL.
MASTER/SLAVE Participants in a sexual relationship that includes bondage and discipline
MASTURBATION Self-pleasure performed on your own body, often (but not always) to orgasm
NIPPLE CLAMPS Clamp-type devices placed on the nipples to stimulate and stop blood flow to the nipples
NIPPLE RINGS Rings pierced through the nipple to stimulate sensation
NON-SMOKER Does not smoke. If mentioned in ad, person is looking for sexual encounter with a person or couple who are non-smokers.
NYOTAIMORI "body sushi" or sushi displayed on a woman's naked body; nantaimori is the male equivalent
– O –
OFF-PREMISE No sexual activity takes place; you meet and make your own arrangements elsewhere
OPEN One or more people maintaining committed or casual relationships with other people (i.e., a couple that consensually dates separately outside of their marriage)
OPEN DOOR/SWINGING Sexual Activity with another couple in the same room. Several or all participating couples sexually active in the same room
ORAL Sexual acts performed with the mouth on genitals of any gender. See also ANILINGUS, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, FRENCH CULTURE, and HEAD.
ORGASMS Sexual climaxes and methods to achieve them
ORGY Sexual activity by several people in the same room; see also GROUP SEX, MORESOME
PANSEXUAL The ability and potential to feel sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender; sometimes conflated with bisexuality and omnisexuality, but the distinction of labels is common in the LGBTQIA+ community
PARTY Any gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging; see also SOCIAL
PARTY CLOTHES Clothing meant as sexy party wear to show off the body for erotic courting and play
PARTY HOUSE A non-membership swinger club offering a regular schedule for on-premise swingers parties
PASSIVE Quiet and submissive person, willing to receive corrective training
PEARL NECKLACE Sexual act in which a male ejaculates semen on or near the neck, chest, or breasts
PEGGING A sexual practice where a person without a penis penetrates a partner's anus with a strap-on dildo
PHOTOGRAPHY Interested in exchanging or creating nude or sexually explicit photographs
PHYSICAL HEALTH All non-psychological health topics. Physiological, of the body.
PIV/PIA Penis in Vagina / Penis in Anus acronyms for non-oral penile penetrative sex
POLYAMORY Emotional and/or physical relationships with more than one partner at the same time
POWER EXCHANGE The relinquishing and assumption of control as part of or within a BDSM kink dynamic (Domination/submission).
PRIMAL A form of BDSM, primal play is practiced by "primals" who express their raw, animalistic side during sexual activity. Stronger vocalizations, such as growling, and physical behaviors like scratching and wresting, are common. Some primals also emulate specific non-human animals during sessions.
PRO Professional; in other words prostitutes or escorts
PUSSY WORSHIP A form of erotic play involving cleaning, licking, shaving, etc. of the vagina
– Q –
QUEEF/QUEEFING An audible, involuntary release of air from the vagina
QUEER The Q in LGBTQIA+, queer folx don't identify with conventional labels and instead use individualized, often fluid (ever-changing) gender and sexuality expressions.
– R –
RACK Short for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, meaning that participants in the BDSM scene agree to and acknowledge the associated risks
RAVAGEMENT FANTASY a.k.a., Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy; Ravagement Fantasy is a type of Risk Aware Consensual Kink BDSM scene involving roleplaying as a victim who is consensually forced into sex by an aggressor or a group of aggressors. There is often an element of capture where the victim is taken away. Once captured, they can be bound, forcefully penetrated, and/or any other desired acts such as physically harmed, blindfolded, etc. The aggressor(s) develop the scene based on previously agreed-upon themes by and with the victim.
RECREATIONAL A person or couple practicing swinging for recreational purposes and not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment
RESTRAINT Mild bondage used in the enactment of sexual fantasies
RIGGER A person who practices a specific form of BONDAGE, typically with rope, on a ROPE BUNNY or ROPE BOTTOM.
RISK AWARE SEX Common among HSV and other STI/STD positive people, Risk Aware Sex involves consensual participation in sexual activity upon disclosure of STI/STD status
ROLEPLAY Act out a different persona dressed in sexy themed outfits
ROPE BUNNY / BOTTOM The receiving partner to the RIGGER in a BDSM dynamic, a Rope Bunny or Rope Bottom experiences psychological and/or sexual pleasure from being bound with rope or other forms of tied BONDAGE.
RUBBER Condom; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, associated with Bondage & Discipline
SADISM Sadism is a term derived from the Marquis de Sade. To be a "sadist" is to get sexual pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain on another person (usually the SUBMISSIVE). Typically the DOMINANT/Master/Top is the person inflicting pain upon the Submissive/Slave/Bottom.
SAFE WORD A specific word agreed upon in BDSM settings that indicates consent is per immediate withdrawn
SAFER SEX Refers to the practice of mindful, protected sex; there is no such thing as safe sex, as there is always at least some risk of infection, disease, pregnancy, etc.
SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS a.k.a., BDSM cross, bondage cross, crux decussata, saltire, X-cross, X-frame, this piece of restraint equipment is common in BDSM dungeons
SAPIOSEXUAL Erotic attraction to intelligent people; sexual stimulation experienced during intellectual conversation or other displays of knowledge
SEXUAL HEALTH Topics regarding safer sex practices (contraception, STI/STD prevention) and the well-being of the body in relation to sexual activity and sexual confidence
SHIBARI a.k.a., KINBAKU; a form of intricate Japanese rope bondage
SNOWBALLING Sexual practice where semen is passed on from mouth to mouth
SOCIAL A party or gathering organized by a swingers club or others for swinger to meet and socialize
SOCIAL SWING CLUB A swingers club, usually membership-based for on-premise swinger activities
SODOMY Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation
SOFT LIMIT A sexual act someone is hesitant to do or try
SOFT SWAP A swinger term for when a couple performs non-penetrative sexual activity with each others' partners, i.e., kissing, oral, sensual massage, etc.
SOFT SWINGERS Couples who choose to have intercourse exclusively with their own partner
SOFT SWINGING Term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched or any sexual activity not including intercourse
SOP Swinger Open Poly; another lifestyle acronym for consensual non-monogamy
SPANKING The BDSM practice of spanking someone for sexual arousal or gratification; a form of IMPACT PLAY involving hands or toys for erotic pleasure
SQUIRTING Female ejaculation. The act of a female ejaculating during a sexual act
STAG A man who encourages his female partner, known as a VIXEN, to have sex with other men; he may or may not engage in GROUP SEX with his Vixen
STD/STI Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection; STDs: Sexually-transmitted diseases that affect the reproductive system. (e.g., HPV, Herpes, HIV/AIDS); STIs: Sexually-transmitted infections. Distinct from diseases, as these are treatable and usually temporary. (e.g., Chlamydia)
STEALTHING The act of removing a condom during or right before sexual intercourse without consent
STR/STRAIGHT Not homosexual person. Describes a person who does not do drugs. Used by swingers to denote non-swingers
SUBMISSIVE Submission can be physical and/or psychological. A Submissive is a.k.a. Sub, Slave, or Bottom. This is done by the DOMINANT (aka Dom, Master, or Top). It can involve everything from following verbal commands and performing commanded actions.
SWAFFLE/SWAFFLING The intentional slapping of the penis against something or someone for sexual arousal and gratification
SWAPPING Couples exchanging partners for sexual activity
SWEDISH CULTURE Use of hands in massage to sexually stimulate
SWINGING The consensual pursuit of sexual partnerships with other couples. This can also involve individuals who are open-minded and navigate the swinger lifestyle individually (not necessarily only with their partner), and can be called unicorns, rhinos, stallions, etc.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life and intimate relationships
TANTRA/TANTRIC SEX Specific acts and positions that synchronize partners into a meditative state. A form of SACRED sex and intimacy. See also SPIRITUAL.
TEABAGGING Sexual act in which someone uses their mouth to suck on a scrotum
TEASING The act of playfully teasing a partner to stimulate sexual pleasure
THREESOME Three people engaging in sexual activity with each other
TICKET A person, usually a female solely for the purpose to enable a male to gain entrance
TICKLERS Sex toys like feathers and rods with floggers attached
TNG Short for The Next Generation, usually involving younger people from ages 18 to 35
TOY Someone who becomes a Toy in a BDSM ROLEPLAY scene is no longer treated as a person but rather as a purely sexual object for the sole purpose of pleasuring someone else.
TPE Short for Total Power Exchange; usually a relationship where the Dominant makes all the decisions for a submissive
TPE Total Power Exchange. The relinquishing and assumption of control as part of or within a BDSM kink dynamic (Domination/submission). "Total" here meaning that the giving up of control extends into everyday life — everything from what and when to eat, when to go to bed — in addition to the sexual dynamic.
TRANSGENDER A person that does not feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned to at birth. This may or may not involve a physical transition to become the gender they feel psychologically. This can denote someone who has physically transitioned into having the opposite reproductive organs and hormones than those with which they were born (i.e., a person with male genitals would undergo reassignment surgery to have a vagina and vulva and many receive breast implants and use hormone therapy to give them more feminine features).
TRIAD Three people, in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome
TRIOLISM Used in profiles to indicate desire for “threesomes”
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UNICORN Single females or female-identified individuals who are ideally bisexual and open to playing with couples for threesomes and others within a swinging or open relationship.
UNICORN HUNTING The act of searching for a Unicorn, like when a couple is looking for a unicorn for a threesome or group sex experience. This can include using dating websites or apps, and meeting unicorns in person at erotic events and sex / swingers' clubs.
UNIFORM A form of roleplay where uniforms are worn
UTOPIAN SWINGER A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals
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VAGINISMUS A condition involving muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause painful, difficult or even impossible to have sexual intercourse, undergo a gynecological exam or insert a tampon
VAGINITIS Inflammation of the vagina that can result in discharge, itching and pain
VALIDATION The action of proving the validity of a profile or person to be real
VANILLA Someone who is not into the open swinging lifestyle
VIBRATOR Battery run vibrating device for sexual stimulation
VIOLET WAND A device used in electrical play which produces electrical sparks when it touches the body
VIXEN Another word for HOTWIFE; a woman who has sex with people besides her primary partner at the encouragement of her primary partner, known as a STAG
