Swinging, Open Relationships, Kink & Sex Terms
When you enter the lifestyle, there might be some terminology you’re unfamiliar with. This is a list of words and descriptions that you may encounter and are meant to help you navigate swinger relationships, open relationships, polyamory, other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, as well as BDSM, kink and fetish scenes.
– A –
ABRASION
Stimulation of the skin causing friction by rubbing, grinding, or using materials like leather, brushes, rough fabrics, etc.
AC/DC
Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual
ADULT
Euphemism for 21+ (or 18+ where applicable) and used to indicate sexual or pornographic content
AFTERCARE
In BDSM circles, aftercare involves the Dominant caring for the submissive, either emotionally or physically
AGE PLAY
Referring to roleplay that involves the nurturing aspects of a relationship with significant age difference
AIRTIGHT
A GROUP SEX or GANGBANG activity wherein a person with a vagina is penetrated in their mouth, vagina, and anus
ALL
Person or couple up for all fetishes and sexual activities
AMERICAN
Women under, Man on top: missionary
ANAL
Anal intercourse; anal play: play where the anus may be rimmed and/or penetrated with fingers, penis, or sex toys
ANAL BEADS
A set of beads strung together and used to insert into the anus as to stimulate the anal nerves
ANAL PLUG
A toy shaped for use in the anus; also used for "ass training" to stretch out the anus; a.k.a., butt plug or just "plug"
ANAL TORTURE
BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus
ANILINGUS
Oral touch or stimulation of the anus by kissing, licking, sucking, or other
ARTS
Euphemism for fetishes
– B –
B&D
BONDAGE and DISCIPLINE; use of a variety of methods to restrain a person and discipline, usually by a “master” and his/her “slave”
BALL STRETCHING
BDSM play which involves constraints and weights to provide a variety of sensations while stretching the testicles and scrotum
BAREBACKING
Penile sexual act without the use of a condom
BBW
Big Beautiful Woman: curvy and comfortable with it
BDSM
BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. This encompasses the themes of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. This can involve the psychological as well as the physical aspects of BDSM, and can be softcore to hardcore. BDSM is always done CONSENSUALLY. This means that the Submissive gives permission to their Dominant to do these activities to them, and both partners are aware of the boundaries and agree to them before play.
BI-CURIOUS
A person with an interest to explore same-sex/gender activities
BISEXUAL
Bisexual, bi; a person with physical and/or emotional attraction to their own and other genders
BIZARRE
Indication for unusual sexual desires
BJ
Blowjob
BLACK SHEET PARTY
Orgy for those into BDSM sex
BONDAGE
Bondage is known as restrictive play and involves tying or strapping a SUBMISSIVE, with rope, cuffs, etc in a manner that prevents them from moving. This can be done with the intention of performing sexual acts on the Submissive, but sometimes bondage can be an end in itself (because the Submissive enjoys being bound) or as an art form (e.g., Shibari bondage).
BOOT WORSHIP
A fetish involving boots/shoes; commonly used for Domination and humiliation practices
BREATH PLAY
a.k.a., Erotic asphyxiation, Breath Play is a type of bondage in BDSM where a person experiences euphoria due to cutting off oxygen from their brain. Research and caution are essential to ensure safe Breath Play, and it is considered a Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Examples include choking, suffocation by covering the mouth and nose, and other methods of applying pressure to the common carotid artery.
BUKKAKE
Bukkake is the Japanese word for splash. In this context, it's the name for the act of several men ejaculating on one person, usually a woman. This often can happen during GROUP SEX or a GANGBANG.
BULL
The male who takes sexual "ownership" over another man's female partner at their invitation; in short, the male who services the HOTWIFE or VIXEN
BYOB
Bring Your Own Booze
BYOC
Bring Your Own Condoms
BYOL
Bring Your Own Lube
– C –
CAN ENTERTAIN
Person or couple open to receiving others in their home for sexual activities
CAN TRAVEL
Person or couple able to travel a distance for sexual activities
CANING
A fetish involving spanking with a light cane made of bamboo or other light material
CHEATING
Engaging in sexual activity with others without consent of spouse
CISGENDER
A term used to describe the gender a person has from birth to present day; i.e., if someone was born as a female and still identifies as a woman, she is cisgendered
CLEAN
Free of STD’s
CLOSED DOOR/CLOSED SWINGING
Sexual activity using separate rooms, in the same house
CLOSET SWINGER
Person hiding the fact that he/she is a swinger
COCK RING
A ring made out of rubber, metal, or leather used to strap around the base of a penis and balls; used to increase blood flow during self-stimulation and sex
COCK WORSHIP
Penis or dildo play involving licking and/or FELLATIO
COLLAR
A collar made of leather, steel, rubber, or rope worn around the neck to indicate submissiveness
COMPERSION
The emotional satisfaction of knowing and/or seeing the joy that loved one experiences with other people; common in POLYAMORY and often considered the opposite reaction to jealousy
CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY
Relationships and/or intimacy with more than one partner. Consensual or ethical non-monogamy means that all the partners involved are aware that their relationships are not exclusive, and there are other partners involved. Includes POLYAMORY and SWINGERS. This is not the same as cheating, in which one partner is not aware of their partner's activities.
CONSENT
The explicit permission for any sexual activity, it can be retracted before and during sexual activity
CPL/COUPLE
Two people in a committed relationship, either dating, married or cohabiting. Or, two singles dating for swinging purposes.
CROSSDRESSER
Formerly known as transvestite, a crossdresser is an individual who wears clothes of the opposite gender they were assigned at birth
CUCKOLD
Cuckolding is the practice of a couple in which the male partner wants to watch his partner have sexual relations with another individual (or several individuals), without his direct sexual involvement. In this case, the male "cuckold" acts as a VOYEUR and is often (but not always) present to witness his partner engaging in sexual acts with the third person (or more people). Often (but not always), the cuckold takes on a SUBMISSIVE role and may also want his partner to humiliate him verbally (and/or physically) during this time with the third partner present (e.g. "He's more of a man than you are," etc.). This is done with the male's consent (not the same as a man witnessing his wife cheating without his consent). The female version of this is called "CUCKQUEANING" or "Cuckqueanry," in which the female plays the role of the Submissive who is witnessing their partner engaging in these acts with another person (or several people).
CUCKOLDRESS
A woman who cuckolds her husband/boyfriend; an adulterous woman who cuckolds her male partner
CUCKQUEAN
The female in a relationship consensually watches or is forced to watch her husband play with others
CUFFS
A BDSM device, often with locks, made out of leather or metal used to restrict movement
CULTURE
Euphemism for fetish or arts
CUM
Ejaculate; refers to both the action of climaxing and ejaculating (cumming)
CUNNILINGUS
Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by mouth and sometimes teeth
– D –
DILDO
An artificial penis made out of rubber, plastic or glass to use for sexual stimulation of vagina and/or anus
DISCIPLINE
Discipline can also be called "behavior correction" and can involve the DOMINANT using sadist activities, bondage, or psychological domination with the SUBMISSIVE.
DISCREET/DISCRETION
Exercising caution in communication as to hide any indication to swinging activities
DOCILE
Like a submissive willing to receive bondage and/or discipline
DOMESTIC TRAINING
Submissive obedience with a focus to intimate and/or humiliating household chores
DOMINANT
Dominance can be physical and/or psychological. This is done by the Dominant (aka Dom or Master or Top) to the SUBMISSIVE (aka Sub or Slave or Bottom). It can involve everything from verbal commands (e.g. "you're mine") to physical commands ("get on your knees"). Dominance and SUBMISSION (also called D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can also be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. See BDSM for more info.
DP
Double Penetration occurs when both the vagina and anus are penetrated during sex; DVP is Double Vaginal Penetration, and DAP is Double Anal Penetration; see also AIRTIGHT
DUNGEON
A room or area with BDSM equipment and/or play space
DUNGEON MASTER
Supervisor who enforces house rules at a play party or dungeon
– E –
ED
Erectile Dysfunction
EDGE PLAY
SM play that involves the possibility of physical or emotional harm; not to be confused with EDGING, which involves denying and delaying orgasm
EDGING
A BDSM technique involving denying and delaying someone of their orgasm; bringing a person close to climax but not allowing them to orgasm; not to be confused with EDGE PLAY
ELECTRIC PLAY
Refers to exploring the mysterious effects of applying electric pulses for excitement and sexual gratification; alluring for a submissive
ELECTROSEX
Refers to using specially designed machines to apply electrical stimulation to the genitals for sexual pleasure
ELLIS
Ellis is code for L.S. aka Lifestyle. The question “Are you a friend of Ellis?” can help identify those in the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality.
ENGLISH CULTURE
Sexual stimulation
ENTERTAIN
Person or couple open to receiving others in their home for sexual activities
EXHIBITIONIST
Someone who enjoys being watched during sexual activity. Includes sharing erotic and explicit photos and videos.
– F –
F
Female
FACE SLAPPING
BDSM play where moderate slapping the face is used for humiliation and/or control
FANTASY ABANDONMENT
BDSM play where a submissive is left in a certain area to exert control and/or as a form of punishment
FELCHING
A sexual activity that involves the act of orally sucking semen out of the anus
FELLATIO
Sexual stimulation of the penis by moth, tongue, lips and teeth
FETISH
Sexual arousal through the use of non-sexual objects, clothing, actions, or non-genital anatomy
FIGGING
A BDSM practice where a piece of peeled ginger root is inserted into the anus or vagina
FISTING
Anal or vaginal play involving placing the entire hand into the rectum or vagina; extremely dangerous if not performed correctly
FLAGGELLATION
Sexual stimulation through pain, usually whipping or spanking
FLOGGER
A BDSM whip device with many "tails" used on buttocks, back, and/or genital areas
FLOGGING HORSE
A bench-like device used to secure someone in a mounted position for the BDSM activity FLOGGING
FOREPLAY
Sexual activities performed between sexual partners before sex that leads to arousal. For example, fingering, handjobs, oral sex, touching, caressing, erotic massage, kissing, etc.
FRENCH CULTURE
Oral-genital sexual activity; aka Fellatio, Cunnilingus
FULL SWAP
A swinger term for when a couple exchanges partners for (typically penetrative) sexual activity
FUN GAMES
Euphemism or sexual activity
– G –
GAG
Form of BDSM play where the use of the mouth is restricted by inserting a gag (i.e., cloth, leather, ballgag, etc.)
GANGBANG
A gangbang is a situation in which several people engage in physical sexual activity with one specific individual sequentially or at the same time. That specific individual is the central focus of the sexual activity; for example, it could be one woman surrounded by several men or a man with multiple women. See also BUKKAKE.
GATES OF HELL
A type of BDSM cock ring used to restrict blood flow; usually made out of metal with several rings attached together ranging from larger at the base to smaller toward the tip of the penis
GAY
A person with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender, typically used to indicate two males; a.k.a., homosexual
GBM
Gay Black Male
GENEROUS
Refers to money in exchange for sex
GENITORTURE
Form of BSDM play where pain is inflicted to the genitals for sexual gratification
GOKKUN
A Japanese term meaning "gulp" used to describe a sexual activity involving the consumption of semen from one or more partners, often from a serving vessel; generally performed at the end of BUKKAKE
GROUP ROOM
Room dedicated to group sex, usually furnished with mattresses or mats
GROUP SEX
Group sex usually involves four or more people, even if not everyone is sexually involved with each of the partners
GWM
Gay White Male
– H –
HARD CORE
A swingers party or gathering where sexual interaction is expected
HARD LIMIT
A non-negotiable sexual act that someone will not do
HEAD
Oral-genital sexual stimulation of a male penis
HEDONIST
Someone who lives for sensual pleasure
HETEROSEXUAL
A person who is attracted to the opposite sex
HOGTIE
A method of tying up wrists and ankles of a submissive with ropes or cuffs
HOMOSEXUAL
Person attracted to members of the same sex
HORNY
Sexually aroused
HOTWIFE/HOTWIFING
A roleplay fetish involving a woman who has sexual play sessions outside of her relationship with full consent, permission, and encouragement from her husband/partner
HUNG
Refers to having a large penis
HWP
Height-Weight Proportionate: indicates an ideal body weight
– I –
ICE PLAY
Use of ice cubes on genital areas, nipples, and other erogenous zones
IMMOBILIZATION
Any form of bondage to immobilize someone, usually used for extreme bondage practices
IMPACT PLAY
BDSM sensation play that deals with impact on the body such as the use of whips, crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
INDOOR SPORTS
General indication for swinging activities
INTERESTED
Person seeking a relationship that includes swinging for emotion and recreational purposes
IRL
In Real Life; used in ads or online chat
ISO
In Search Of; used in ads
– K –
KINBAKU
(a.k.a., Shibari) A Japanese style of bondage of creating visually-intricate patterns with rope
– L –
LEATHER
A fetish; sexual arousal by wearing or touching leather or leather garments
LESBIAN
A female with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender
LGBTQIA+
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. The plus indicates that there are more identities, and the current full acronym is LGBTQQIAAP (the remaining letters are: Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, and Pansexual, with even more identities that fall under the Gender and Sexuality Minorities umbrella.
LOVER
A sexual partner. Could be an individual who is single or already in a relationship, engaging with multiple partners and relationships.
LTR
Long Term Relationship
– M –
MARITAL
Devices used for sexual stimulation of self and others
MASOCHISM
Masochism or to be a "masochist" is to get sexual pleasure from receiving physical or psychological pain that is inflicted by another person (usually the DOMINANT). Typically the SUBMISSIVE/Slave/Bottom is the person receiving pain from the Master/DOMINANT/Top.
MASTER/SLAVE
Participants in a sexual relationship that includes bondage and discipline
MASTURBATION
Self-pleasure performed on your own body, often (but not always) to orgasm
MATROOM
Room dedicated to group sex
MBC
Married Black Couple
MBIC
Married Bisexual Couple
MEET FOR PLEASURE
Person willing to meet for sex; without any further social or emotional interest
MENAGE A TROIS
Three people having sex
MENTAL HEALTH
All non-physical health topics. Emotional and behavioral (psychological) aspects of life and self-care.
MORESOME
More than three persons having sex
MUNCH
A code word for a group of people into BDSM to meet at vanilla places in street clothes
MWC
Married White Couple
– N –
NASCA
North American Swing Club Association
NEWBIE
New persons entering the swinger scene
NIPPLE CLAMPS
Clamp-type devices placed on the nipples to stimulate and stop blood flow to the nipples
NIPPLE RINGS
Rings pierced through the nipple to stimulate sensation
NON-SMOKER
Does not smoke. If mentioned in ad, person is looking for sexual encounter with a person or couple who are non-smokers.
NYOTAIMORI
"body sushi" or sushi displayed on a woman's naked body; nantaimori is the male equivalent
– O –
OFF-PREMISE
No sexual activity takes place; you meet and make your own arrangements elsewhere
OPEN
One or more people maintaining committed or casual relationships with other people (i.e., a couple that consensually dates separately outside of their marriage)
OPEN DOOR/SWINGING
Sexual Activity with another couple in the same room. Several or all participating couples sexually active in the same room
ORAL
Sexual acts performed with the mouth on genitals of any gender. See also ANILINGUS, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, FRENCH CULTURE, and HEAD.
ORGASMS
Sexual climaxes and methods to achieve them
ORGY
Sexual activity by several people in the same room; see also GROUP SEX, MORESOME
OTK
Over The Knee (spanking)
– P –
P/P
Photo and phone number
PANSEXUAL
The ability and potential to feel sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender; sometimes conflated with bisexuality and omnisexuality, but the distinction of labels is common in the LGBTQIA+ community
PARTY
Any gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging; see also SOCIAL
PARTY CLOTHES
Clothing meant as sexy party wear to show off the body for erotic courting and play
PARTY HOUSE
A non-membership swinger club offering a regular schedule for on-premise swingers parties
PASSIVE
Quiet and submissive person, willing to receive corrective training
PEARL NECKLACE
Sexual act in which a male ejaculates semen on or near the neck, chest, or breasts
PEGGING
A sexual practice where a person without a penis penetrates a partner's anus with a strap-on dildo
PHOTO
Nude or sexually explicit photos
PHOTOGRAPHY
Interested in exchanging or creating nude or sexually explicit photographs
PHYSICAL HEALTH
All non-psychological health topics. Physiological, of the body.
PIV/PIA
Penis in Vagina / Penis in Anus acronyms for non-oral penile penetrative sex
POLYAMORY
Emotional and/or physical relationships with more than one partner at the same time
PRO
Professional; in other words prostitutes or escorts
PUSSY WORSHIP
A form of erotic play involving cleaning, licking, shaving, etc. of the vagina
– Q –
QUEEF/QUEEFING
An audible, involuntary release of air from the vagina
– R –
RACK
Short for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, meaning that participants in the BDSM scene agree to and acknowledge the associated risks
RAVAGEMENT FANTASY
a.k.a., Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy; Ravagement Fantasy is a type of Risk Aware Consensual Kink BDSM scene involving roleplaying as a victim who is consensually forced into sex by an aggressor or a group of aggressors. There is often an element of capture where the victim is taken away. Once captured, they can be bound, forcefully penetrated, and/or any other desired acts such as physically harmed, blindfolded, etc. The aggressor(s) develop the scene based on previously agreed-upon themes by and with the victim.
RECREATIONAL
A person or couple practicing swinging for recreational purposes and not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment
RESTRAINT
Mild bondage used in the enactment of sexual fantasies
RIMMING
Form of anal play; see also ANILINGUS
RISK AWARE SEX
Common among HSV and other STI/STD positive people, Risk Aware Sex involves consensual participation in sexual activity upon disclosure of STI/STD status
ROLEPLAY
Act out a different persona dressed in sexy themed outfits
ROMAN
Group sex, orgies, party scene
ROMAN CULTURE
Sexual orgies
RUBBER
Condom; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, associated with Bondage & Discipline
– S –
S&M
Sadism and Masochism
SADISM
Sadism is a term derived from the Marquis de Sade. To be a "sadist" is to get sexual pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain on another person (usually the SUBMISSIVE). Typically the DOMINANT/Master/Top is the person inflicting pain upon the Submissive/Slave/Bottom.
SAFE
Sterile person
SAFE WORD
A specific word agreed upon in BDSM settings that indicates consent is per immediate withdrawn
SAFER SEX
Refers to the practice of mindful, protected sex; there is no such thing as safe sex, as there is always at least some risk of infection, disease, pregnancy, etc.
SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS
a.k.a., BDSM cross, bondage cross, crux decussata, saltire, X-cross, X-frame, this piece of restraint equipment is common in BDSM dungeons
SAPIOSEXUAL
Erotic attraction to intelligent people; sexual stimulation experienced during intellectual conversation or other displays of knowledge
SBF
Single Black Female
SBIF
Single Bisexual Female
SBM
Single Black Male
SENSATION PLAY
Play where the intent is to explore and push a person's sensory limits
SEX TOYS
Sexual devices, a.k.a. pleasure products
SEXUAL HEALTH
Topics regarding safer sex practices (contraception, STI/STD prevention) and the well-being of the body in relation to sexual activity and sexual confidence
SGL/SINGLE
Single, a swinger without a partner
SHIBARI
a.k.a., KINBAKU; a form of intricate Japanese rope bondage
SNOWBALLING
Sexual practice where semen is passed on from mouth to mouth
SOCIAL
A party or gathering organized by a swingers club or others for swinger to meet and socialize
SOCIAL SWING CLUB
A swingers club, usually membership-based for on-premise swinger activities
SODOMY
Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation
SOFT LIMIT
A sexual act someone is hesitant to do or try
SOFT SWAP
A swinger term for when a couple performs non-penetrative sexual activity with each others' partners, i.e., kissing, oral, sensual massage, etc.
SOFT SWINGERS
Couples who choose to have intercourse exclusively with their own partner
SOFT SWINGING
Term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched or any sexual activity not including intercourse
SOP
Swinger Open Poly; another lifestyle acronym for consensual non-monogamy
SPANKING
The BDSM practice of spanking someone for sexual arousal or gratification; a form of IMPACT PLAY involving hands or toys for erotic pleasure
SQUIRTING
Female ejaculation. The act of a female ejaculating during a sexual act
SRS
Same Room Sex
STAG
A man who encourages his female partner, known as a VIXEN, to have sex with other men; he may or may not engage in GROUP SEX with his Vixen
STD/STI
Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection; STDs: Sexually-transmitted diseases that affect the reproductive system. (e.g., HPV, Herpes, HIV/AIDS); STIs: Sexually-transmitted infections. Distinct from diseases, as these are treatable and usually temporary. (e.g., Chlamydia)
STEALTHING
The act of removing a condom during or right before sexual intercourse without consent
STR/STRAIGHT
Not homosexual person. Describes a person who does not do drugs. Used by swingers to denote non-swingers
SUBMISSIVE
Submission can be physical and/or psychological. A Submissive is a.k.a. Sub, Slave, or Bottom. This is done by the DOMINANT (aka Dom, Master, or Top). It can involve everything from following verbal commands and performing commanded actions.
SWAFFLE/SWAFFLING
The intentional slapping the penis against something or someone for sexual arousal and gratification
SWAPPING
Couples exchanging partners for sexual activity
SWEDISH CULTURE
Use of hands in massage to sexually stimulate
SWF
Single White Female
SWINGING
The consensual pursuit of sexual partnerships with other couples. This can also involve individuals who are open-minded and navigate the swinger lifestyle individually (not necessarily only with their partner), and can be called unicorns, rhinos, stallions, etc.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE
Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life and intimate relationships
SWINGING MARRIAGE
A marriage that is open to swinging
SWM
Single White Male
– T –
TAN
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus
TANTRA/TANTRIC SEX
Specific acts and positions that synchronize partners into a meditative state. A form of SACRED sex and intimacy. See also SPIRITUAL.
TEABAGGING
Sexual act in which someone uses their mouth to suck on a scrotum
TEASING
The act of playfully teasing a partner to stimulate sexual pleasure
THREESOME
Three people engaging in sexual activity with each other
TICKET
A person, usually a female solely for the purpose to enable a male to gain entrance
TICKLERS
Sex toys like feathers and rods with floggers attached
TNG
Short for The Next Generation, usually involving younger people from ages 18 to 35
TPE
Short for Total Power Exchange; usually a relationship where the Dominant makes all the decisions for a submissive
TRANSGENDER
A person that does not feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned to at birth. This may or may not involve a physical transition to become the gender they feel psychologically. This can denote someone who has physically transitioned into having the opposite reproductive organs and hormones than those with which they were born (i.e., a person with male genitals would undergo reassignment surgery to have a vagina and vulva and many receive breast implants and use hormone therapy to give them more feminine features).
TRIAD
Three people, in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome
TRIOLISM
Used in profiles to indicate desire for “threesomes”
– U –
UNICORN
Single females or female-identified individuals who are ideally bisexual and open to playing with couples for threesomes and others within a swinging or open relationship.
UNICORN HUNTING
The act of searching for a Unicorn, like when a couple is looking for a unicorn for a threesome or group sex experience. This can include using dating websites or apps, and meeting unicorns in person at erotic events and sex / swingers' clubs.
UNIFORM
A form of roleplay where uniforms are worn
UTOPIAN SWINGER
A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals
– V –
VAGINISMUS
A condition involving muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause painful, difficult or even impossible to have sexual intercourse, undergo a gynecological exam or insert a tampon
VAGINITIS
Inflammation of the vagina that can result in discharge, itching and pain
VALIDATION
The action of proving the validity of a profile or person to be real
VANILLA
Someone who is not into the open swinging lifestyle
VERSATILE
Bisexual
VIBRATOR
Battery run vibrating device for sexual stimulation
VIOLET WAND
A device used in electrical play which produces electrical sparks when it touches the body
VIXEN
Another word for HOTWIFE; a woman who has sex with people besides her primary partner at the encouragement of her primary partner, known as a STAG
VOLUPTUOUS
Fullness of beauty and form
VOYEUR
A person who enjoys watching others having sex; engages in VOYEURISM
VOYEURISM
Sexual gratification by watching others having sex; practiced by a VOYEUR. Includes viewing erotic and explicit photos and videos.
– W –
WATER SPORTS
Sexual activity in which urine is involved
WAY-OUTS/WEIRDOS
People interested in activities considered bizarre, kinky, highly unusual or unconventional
WHIP
A device usually made out of leather and used for striking in sexual BDSM play
WHIPPING POST
A tall post with tethers used to position a person for ease of whipping in BDSM play
When you enter the lifestyle, there might be some terminology you’re unfamiliar with. This is a list of words and descriptions that you may encounter and are meant to help you navigate swinger relationships, open relationships, polyamory, other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, as well as BDSM, kink and fetish scenes.
– A –
ABRASION
Stimulation of the skin causing friction by rubbing, grinding, or using materials like leather, brushes, rough fabrics, etc.
AC/DC
Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual
ADULT
Euphemism for 21+ (or 18+ where applicable) and used to indicate sexual or pornographic content
AFTERCARE
In BDSM circles, aftercare involves the Dominant caring for the submissive, either emotionally or physically
AGE PLAY
Referring to roleplay that involves the nurturing aspects of a relationship with significant age difference
AIRTIGHT
A GROUP SEX or GANGBANG activity wherein a person with a vagina is penetrated in their mouth, vagina, and anus
ALL
Person or couple up for all fetishes and sexual activities
AMERICAN
Women under, Man on top: missionary
ANAL
Anal intercourse; anal play: play where the anus may be rimmed and/or penetrated with fingers, penis, or sex toys
ANAL BEADS
A set of beads strung together and used to insert into the anus as to stimulate the anal nerves
ANAL PLUG
A toy shaped for use in the anus; also used for "ass training" to stretch out the anus; a.k.a., butt plug or just "plug"
ANAL TORTURE
BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus
ANILINGUS
Oral touch or stimulation of the anus by kissing, licking, sucking, or other
ARTS
Euphemism for fetishes
– B –
B&D
BONDAGE and DISCIPLINE; use of a variety of methods to restrain a person and discipline, usually by a “master” and his/her “slave”
BALL STRETCHING
BDSM play which involves constraints and weights to provide a variety of sensations while stretching the testicles and scrotum
BAREBACKING
Penile sexual act without the use of a condom
BBW
Big Beautiful Woman: curvy and comfortable with it
BDSM
BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. This encompasses the themes of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. This can involve the psychological as well as the physical aspects of BDSM, and can be softcore to hardcore. BDSM is always done CONSENSUALLY. This means that the Submissive gives permission to their Dominant to do these activities to them, and both partners are aware of the boundaries and agree to them before play.
BI-CURIOUS
A person with an interest to explore same-sex/gender activities
BISEXUAL
Bisexual, bi; a person with physical and/or emotional attraction to their own and other genders
BIZARRE
Indication for unusual sexual desires
BJ
Blowjob
BLACK SHEET PARTY
Orgy for those into BDSM sex
BONDAGE
Bondage is known as restrictive play and involves tying or strapping a SUBMISSIVE, with rope, cuffs, etc in a manner that prevents them from moving. This can be done with the intention of performing sexual acts on the Submissive, but sometimes bondage can be an end in itself (because the Submissive enjoys being bound) or as an art form (e.g., Shibari bondage).
BOOT WORSHIP
A fetish involving boots/shoes; commonly used for Domination and humiliation practices
BREATH PLAY
a.k.a., Erotic asphyxiation, Breath Play is a type of bondage in BDSM where a person experiences euphoria due to cutting off oxygen from their brain. Research and caution are essential to ensure safe Breath Play, and it is considered a Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Examples include choking, suffocation by covering the mouth and nose, and other methods of applying pressure to the common carotid artery.
BUKKAKE
Bukkake is the Japanese word for splash. In this context, it's the name for the act of several men ejaculating on one person, usually a woman. This often can happen during GROUP SEX or a GANGBANG.
BULL
The male who takes sexual "ownership" over another man's female partner at their invitation; in short, the male who services the HOTWIFE or VIXEN
BYOB
Bring Your Own Booze
BYOC
Bring Your Own Condoms
BYOL
Bring Your Own Lube
– C –
CAN ENTERTAIN
Person or couple open to receiving others in their home for sexual activities
CAN TRAVEL
Person or couple able to travel a distance for sexual activities
CANING
A fetish involving spanking with a light cane made of bamboo or other light material
CHEATING
Engaging in sexual activity with others without consent of spouse
CISGENDER
A term used to describe the gender a person has from birth to present day; i.e., if someone was born as a female and still identifies as a woman, she is cisgendered
CLEAN
Free of STD’s
CLOSED DOOR/CLOSED SWINGING
Sexual activity using separate rooms, in the same house
CLOSET SWINGER
Person hiding the fact that he/she is a swinger
COCK RING
A ring made out of rubber, metal, or leather used to strap around the base of a penis and balls; used to increase blood flow during self-stimulation and sex
COCK WORSHIP
Penis or dildo play involving licking and/or FELLATIO
COLLAR
A collar made of leather, steel, rubber, or rope worn around the neck to indicate submissiveness
COMPERSION
The emotional satisfaction of knowing and/or seeing the joy that loved one experiences with other people; common in POLYAMORY and often considered the opposite reaction to jealousy
CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY
Relationships and/or intimacy with more than one partner. Consensual or ethical non-monogamy means that all the partners involved are aware that their relationships are not exclusive, and there are other partners involved. Includes POLYAMORY and SWINGERS. This is not the same as cheating, in which one partner is not aware of their partner's activities.
CONSENT
The explicit permission for any sexual activity, it can be retracted before and during sexual activity
CPL/COUPLE
Two people in a committed relationship, either dating, married or cohabiting. Or, two singles dating for swinging purposes.
CROSSDRESSER
Formerly known as transvestite, a crossdresser is an individual who wears clothes of the opposite gender they were assigned at birth
CUCKOLD
Cuckolding is the practice of a couple in which the male partner wants to watch his partner have sexual relations with another individual (or several individuals), without his direct sexual involvement. In this case, the male "cuckold" acts as a VOYEUR and is often (but not always) present to witness his partner engaging in sexual acts with the third person (or more people). Often (but not always), the cuckold takes on a SUBMISSIVE role and may also want his partner to humiliate him verbally (and/or physically) during this time with the third partner present (e.g. "He's more of a man than you are," etc.). This is done with the male's consent (not the same as a man witnessing his wife cheating without his consent). The female version of this is called "CUCKQUEANING" or "Cuckqueanry," in which the female plays the role of the Submissive who is witnessing their partner engaging in these acts with another person (or several people).
CUCKOLDRESS
A woman who cuckolds her husband/boyfriend; an adulterous woman who cuckolds her male partner
CUCKQUEAN
The female in a relationship consensually watches or is forced to watch her husband play with others
CUFFS
A BDSM device, often with locks, made out of leather or metal used to restrict movement
CULTURE
Euphemism for fetish or arts
CUM
Ejaculate; refers to both the action of climaxing and ejaculating (cumming)
CUNNILINGUS
Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by mouth and sometimes teeth
– D –
DILDO
An artificial penis made out of rubber, plastic or glass to use for sexual stimulation of vagina and/or anus
DISCIPLINE
Discipline can also be called "behavior correction" and can involve the DOMINANT using sadist activities, bondage, or psychological domination with the SUBMISSIVE.
DISCREET/DISCRETION
Exercising caution in communication as to hide any indication to swinging activities
DOCILE
Like a submissive willing to receive bondage and/or discipline
DOMESTIC TRAINING
Submissive obedience with a focus to intimate and/or humiliating household chores
DOMINANT
Dominance can be physical and/or psychological. This is done by the Dominant (aka Dom or Master or Top) to the SUBMISSIVE (aka Sub or Slave or Bottom). It can involve everything from verbal commands (e.g. "you're mine") to physical commands ("get on your knees"). Dominance and SUBMISSION (also called D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can also be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. See BDSM for more info.
DP
Double Penetration occurs when both the vagina and anus are penetrated during sex; DVP is Double Vaginal Penetration, and DAP is Double Anal Penetration; see also AIRTIGHT
DUNGEON
A room or area with BDSM equipment and/or play space
DUNGEON MASTER
Supervisor who enforces house rules at a play party or dungeon
– E –
ED
Erectile Dysfunction
EDGE PLAY
SM play that involves the possibility of physical or emotional harm; not to be confused with EDGING, which involves denying and delaying orgasm
EDGING
A BDSM technique involving denying and delaying someone of their orgasm; bringing a person close to climax but not allowing them to orgasm; not to be confused with EDGE PLAY
ELECTRIC PLAY
Refers to exploring the mysterious effects of applying electric pulses for excitement and sexual gratification; alluring for a submissive
ELECTROSEX
Refers to using specially designed machines to apply electrical stimulation to the genitals for sexual pleasure
ELLIS
Ellis is code for L.S. aka Lifestyle. The question “Are you a friend of Ellis?” can help identify those in the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality.
ENGLISH CULTURE
Sexual stimulation
ENTERTAIN
Person or couple open to receiving others in their home for sexual activities
EXHIBITIONIST
Someone who enjoys being watched during sexual activity. Includes sharing erotic and explicit photos and videos.
– F –
F
Female
FACE SLAPPING
BDSM play where moderate slapping the face is used for humiliation and/or control
FANTASY ABANDONMENT
BDSM play where a submissive is left in a certain area to exert control and/or as a form of punishment
FELCHING
A sexual activity that involves the act of orally sucking semen out of the anus
FELLATIO
Sexual stimulation of the penis by moth, tongue, lips and teeth
FETISH
Sexual arousal through the use of non-sexual objects, clothing, actions, or non-genital anatomy
FIGGING
A BDSM practice where a piece of peeled ginger root is inserted into the anus or vagina
FISTING
Anal or vaginal play involving placing the entire hand into the rectum or vagina; extremely dangerous if not performed correctly
FLAGGELLATION
Sexual stimulation through pain, usually whipping or spanking
FLOGGER
A BDSM whip device with many "tails" used on buttocks, back, and/or genital areas
FLOGGING HORSE
A bench-like device used to secure someone in a mounted position for the BDSM activity FLOGGING
FOREPLAY
Sexual activities performed between sexual partners before sex that leads to arousal. For example, fingering, handjobs, oral sex, touching, caressing, erotic massage, kissing, etc.
FRENCH CULTURE
Oral-genital sexual activity; aka Fellatio, Cunnilingus
FULL SWAP
A swinger term for when a couple exchanges partners for (typically penetrative) sexual activity
FUN GAMES
Euphemism or sexual activity
– G –
GAG
Form of BDSM play where the use of the mouth is restricted by inserting a gag (i.e., cloth, leather, ballgag, etc.)
GANGBANG
A gangbang is a situation in which several people engage in physical sexual activity with one specific individual sequentially or at the same time. That specific individual is the central focus of the sexual activity; for example, it could be one woman surrounded by several men or a man with multiple women. See also BUKKAKE.
GATES OF HELL
A type of BDSM cock ring used to restrict blood flow; usually made out of metal with several rings attached together ranging from larger at the base to smaller toward the tip of the penis
GAY
A person with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender, typically used to indicate two males; a.k.a., homosexual
GBM
Gay Black Male
GENEROUS
Refers to money in exchange for sex
GENITORTURE
Form of BSDM play where pain is inflicted to the genitals for sexual gratification
GOKKUN
A Japanese term meaning "gulp" used to describe a sexual activity involving the consumption of semen from one or more partners, often from a serving vessel; generally performed at the end of BUKKAKE
GROUP ROOM
Room dedicated to group sex, usually furnished with mattresses or mats
GROUP SEX
Group sex usually involves four or more people, even if not everyone is sexually involved with each of the partners
GWM
Gay White Male
– H –
HARD CORE
A swingers party or gathering where sexual interaction is expected
HARD LIMIT
A non-negotiable sexual act that someone will not do
HEAD
Oral-genital sexual stimulation of a male penis
HEDONIST
Someone who lives for sensual pleasure
HETEROSEXUAL
A person who is attracted to the opposite sex
HOGTIE
A method of tying up wrists and ankles of a submissive with ropes or cuffs
HOMOSEXUAL
Person attracted to members of the same sex
HORNY
Sexually aroused
HOTWIFE/HOTWIFING
A roleplay fetish involving a woman who has sexual play sessions outside of her relationship with full consent, permission, and encouragement from her husband/partner
HUNG
Refers to having a large penis
HWP
Height-Weight Proportionate: indicates an ideal body weight
– I –
ICE PLAY
Use of ice cubes on genital areas, nipples, and other erogenous zones
IMMOBILIZATION
Any form of bondage to immobilize someone, usually used for extreme bondage practices
IMPACT PLAY
BDSM sensation play that deals with impact on the body such as the use of whips, crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
INDOOR SPORTS
General indication for swinging activities
INTERESTED
Person seeking a relationship that includes swinging for emotion and recreational purposes
IRL
In Real Life; used in ads or online chat
ISO
In Search Of; used in ads
– K –
KINBAKU
(a.k.a., Shibari) A Japanese style of bondage of creating visually-intricate patterns with rope
– L –
LEATHER
A fetish; sexual arousal by wearing or touching leather or leather garments
LESBIAN
A female with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender
LGBTQIA+
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. The plus indicates that there are more identities, and the current full acronym is LGBTQQIAAP (the remaining letters are: Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, and Pansexual, with even more identities that fall under the Gender and Sexuality Minorities umbrella.
LOVER
A sexual partner. Could be an individual who is single or already in a relationship, engaging with multiple partners and relationships.
LTR
Long Term Relationship
– M –
MARITAL
Devices used for sexual stimulation of self and others
MASOCHISM
Masochism or to be a "masochist" is to get sexual pleasure from receiving physical or psychological pain that is inflicted by another person (usually the DOMINANT). Typically the SUBMISSIVE/Slave/Bottom is the person receiving pain from the Master/DOMINANT/Top.
MASTER/SLAVE
Participants in a sexual relationship that includes bondage and discipline
MASTURBATION
Self-pleasure performed on your own body, often (but not always) to orgasm
MATROOM
Room dedicated to group sex
MBC
Married Black Couple
MBIC
Married Bisexual Couple
MEET FOR PLEASURE
Person willing to meet for sex; without any further social or emotional interest
MENAGE A TROIS
Three people having sex
MENTAL HEALTH
All non-physical health topics. Emotional and behavioral (psychological) aspects of life and self-care.
MORESOME
More than three persons having sex
MUNCH
A code word for a group of people into BDSM to meet at vanilla places in street clothes
MWC
Married White Couple
– N –
NASCA
North American Swing Club Association
NEWBIE
New persons entering the swinger scene
NIPPLE CLAMPS
Clamp-type devices placed on the nipples to stimulate and stop blood flow to the nipples
NIPPLE RINGS
Rings pierced through the nipple to stimulate sensation
NON-SMOKER
Does not smoke. If mentioned in ad, person is looking for sexual encounter with a person or couple who are non-smokers.
NYOTAIMORI
"body sushi" or sushi displayed on a woman's naked body; nantaimori is the male equivalent
– O –
OFF-PREMISE
No sexual activity takes place; you meet and make your own arrangements elsewhere
OPEN
One or more people maintaining committed or casual relationships with other people (i.e., a couple that consensually dates separately outside of their marriage)
OPEN DOOR/SWINGING
Sexual Activity with another couple in the same room. Several or all participating couples sexually active in the same room
ORAL
Sexual acts performed with the mouth on genitals of any gender. See also ANILINGUS, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, FRENCH CULTURE, and HEAD.
ORGASMS
Sexual climaxes and methods to achieve them
ORGY
Sexual activity by several people in the same room; see also GROUP SEX, MORESOME
OTK
Over The Knee (spanking)
– P –
P/P
Photo and phone number
PANSEXUAL
The ability and potential to feel sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender; sometimes conflated with bisexuality and omnisexuality, but the distinction of labels is common in the LGBTQIA+ community
PARTY
Any gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging; see also SOCIAL
PARTY CLOTHES
Clothing meant as sexy party wear to show off the body for erotic courting and play
PARTY HOUSE
A non-membership swinger club offering a regular schedule for on-premise swingers parties
PASSIVE
Quiet and submissive person, willing to receive corrective training
PEARL NECKLACE
Sexual act in which a male ejaculates semen on or near the neck, chest, or breasts
PEGGING
A sexual practice where a person without a penis penetrates a partner's anus with a strap-on dildo
PHOTO
Nude or sexually explicit photos
PHOTOGRAPHY
Interested in exchanging or creating nude or sexually explicit photographs
PHYSICAL HEALTH
All non-psychological health topics. Physiological, of the body.
PIV/PIA
Penis in Vagina / Penis in Anus acronyms for non-oral penile penetrative sex
POLYAMORY
Emotional and/or physical relationships with more than one partner at the same time
PRO
Professional; in other words prostitutes or escorts
PUSSY WORSHIP
A form of erotic play involving cleaning, licking, shaving, etc. of the vagina
– Q –
QUEEF/QUEEFING
An audible, involuntary release of air from the vagina
– R –
RACK
Short for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, meaning that participants in the BDSM scene agree to and acknowledge the associated risks
RAVAGEMENT FANTASY
a.k.a., Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy; Ravagement Fantasy is a type of Risk Aware Consensual Kink BDSM scene involving roleplaying as a victim who is consensually forced into sex by an aggressor or a group of aggressors. There is often an element of capture where the victim is taken away. Once captured, they can be bound, forcefully penetrated, and/or any other desired acts such as physically harmed, blindfolded, etc. The aggressor(s) develop the scene based on previously agreed-upon themes by and with the victim.
RECREATIONAL
A person or couple practicing swinging for recreational purposes and not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment
RESTRAINT
Mild bondage used in the enactment of sexual fantasies
RIMMING
Form of anal play; see also ANILINGUS
RISK AWARE SEX
Common among HSV and other STI/STD positive people, Risk Aware Sex involves consensual participation in sexual activity upon disclosure of STI/STD status
ROLEPLAY
Act out a different persona dressed in sexy themed outfits
ROMAN
Group sex, orgies, party scene
ROMAN CULTURE
Sexual orgies
RUBBER
Condom; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, associated with Bondage & Discipline
– S –
S&M
Sadism and Masochism
SADISM
Sadism is a term derived from the Marquis de Sade. To be a "sadist" is to get sexual pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain on another person (usually the SUBMISSIVE). Typically the DOMINANT/Master/Top is the person inflicting pain upon the Submissive/Slave/Bottom.
SAFE
Sterile person
SAFE WORD
A specific word agreed upon in BDSM settings that indicates consent is per immediate withdrawn
SAFER SEX
Refers to the practice of mindful, protected sex; there is no such thing as safe sex, as there is always at least some risk of infection, disease, pregnancy, etc.
SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS
a.k.a., BDSM cross, bondage cross, crux decussata, saltire, X-cross, X-frame, this piece of restraint equipment is common in BDSM dungeons
SAPIOSEXUAL
Erotic attraction to intelligent people; sexual stimulation experienced during intellectual conversation or other displays of knowledge
SBF
Single Black Female
SBIF
Single Bisexual Female
SBM
Single Black Male
SENSATION PLAY
Play where the intent is to explore and push a person's sensory limits
SEX TOYS
Sexual devices, a.k.a. pleasure products
SEXUAL HEALTH
Topics regarding safer sex practices (contraception, STI/STD prevention) and the well-being of the body in relation to sexual activity and sexual confidence
SGL/SINGLE
Single, a swinger without a partner
SHIBARI
a.k.a., KINBAKU; a form of intricate Japanese rope bondage
SNOWBALLING
Sexual practice where semen is passed on from mouth to mouth
SOCIAL
A party or gathering organized by a swingers club or others for swinger to meet and socialize
SOCIAL SWING CLUB
A swingers club, usually membership-based for on-premise swinger activities
SODOMY
Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation
SOFT LIMIT
A sexual act someone is hesitant to do or try
SOFT SWAP
A swinger term for when a couple performs non-penetrative sexual activity with each others' partners, i.e., kissing, oral, sensual massage, etc.
SOFT SWINGERS
Couples who choose to have intercourse exclusively with their own partner
SOFT SWINGING
Term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched or any sexual activity not including intercourse
SOP
Swinger Open Poly; another lifestyle acronym for consensual non-monogamy
SPANKING
The BDSM practice of spanking someone for sexual arousal or gratification; a form of IMPACT PLAY involving hands or toys for erotic pleasure
SQUIRTING
Female ejaculation. The act of a female ejaculating during a sexual act
SRS
Same Room Sex
STAG
A man who encourages his female partner, known as a VIXEN, to have sex with other men; he may or may not engage in GROUP SEX with his Vixen
STD/STI
Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection; STDs: Sexually-transmitted diseases that affect the reproductive system. (e.g., HPV, Herpes, HIV/AIDS); STIs: Sexually-transmitted infections. Distinct from diseases, as these are treatable and usually temporary. (e.g., Chlamydia)
STEALTHING
The act of removing a condom during or right before sexual intercourse without consent
STR/STRAIGHT
Not homosexual person. Describes a person who does not do drugs. Used by swingers to denote non-swingers
SUBMISSIVE
Submission can be physical and/or psychological. A Submissive is a.k.a. Sub, Slave, or Bottom. This is done by the DOMINANT (aka Dom, Master, or Top). It can involve everything from following verbal commands and performing commanded actions.
SWAFFLE/SWAFFLING
The intentional slapping the penis against something or someone for sexual arousal and gratification
SWAPPING
Couples exchanging partners for sexual activity
SWEDISH CULTURE
Use of hands in massage to sexually stimulate
SWF
Single White Female
SWINGING
The consensual pursuit of sexual partnerships with other couples. This can also involve individuals who are open-minded and navigate the swinger lifestyle individually (not necessarily only with their partner), and can be called unicorns, rhinos, stallions, etc.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE
Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life and intimate relationships
SWINGING MARRIAGE
A marriage that is open to swinging
SWM
Single White Male
– T –
TAN
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus
TANTRA/TANTRIC SEX
Specific acts and positions that synchronize partners into a meditative state. A form of SACRED sex and intimacy. See also SPIRITUAL.
TEABAGGING
Sexual act in which someone uses their mouth to suck on a scrotum
TEASING
The act of playfully teasing a partner to stimulate sexual pleasure
THREESOME
Three people engaging in sexual activity with each other
TICKET
A person, usually a female solely for the purpose to enable a male to gain entrance
TICKLERS
Sex toys like feathers and rods with floggers attached
TNG
Short for The Next Generation, usually involving younger people from ages 18 to 35
TPE
Short for Total Power Exchange; usually a relationship where the Dominant makes all the decisions for a submissive
TRANSGENDER
A person that does not feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned to at birth. This may or may not involve a physical transition to become the gender they feel psychologically. This can denote someone who has physically transitioned into having the opposite reproductive organs and hormones than those with which they were born (i.e., a person with male genitals would undergo reassignment surgery to have a vagina and vulva and many receive breast implants and use hormone therapy to give them more feminine features).
TRIAD
Three people, in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome
TRIOLISM
Used in profiles to indicate desire for “threesomes”
– U –
UNICORN
Single females or female-identified individuals who are ideally bisexual and open to playing with couples for threesomes and others within a swinging or open relationship.
UNICORN HUNTING
The act of searching for a Unicorn, like when a couple is looking for a unicorn for a threesome or group sex experience. This can include using dating websites or apps, and meeting unicorns in person at erotic events and sex / swingers' clubs.
UNIFORM
A form of roleplay where uniforms are worn
UTOPIAN SWINGER
A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals
– V –
VAGINISMUS
A condition involving muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause painful, difficult or even impossible to have sexual intercourse, undergo a gynecological exam or insert a tampon
VAGINITIS
Inflammation of the vagina that can result in discharge, itching and pain
VALIDATION
The action of proving the validity of a profile or person to be real
VANILLA
Someone who is not into the open swinging lifestyle
VERSATILE
Bisexual
VIBRATOR
Battery run vibrating device for sexual stimulation
VIOLET WAND
A device used in electrical play which produces electrical sparks when it touches the body
VIXEN
Another word for HOTWIFE; a woman who has sex with people besides her primary partner at the encouragement of her primary partner, known as a STAG
VOLUPTUOUS
Fullness of beauty and form
VOYEUR
A person who enjoys watching others having sex; engages in VOYEURISM
VOYEURISM
Sexual gratification by watching others having sex; practiced by a VOYEUR. Includes viewing erotic and explicit photos and videos.
– W –
WATER SPORTS
Sexual activity in which urine is involved
WAY-OUTS/WEIRDOS
People interested in activities considered bizarre, kinky, highly unusual or unconventional
WHIP
A device usually made out of leather and used for striking in sexual BDSM play
WHIPPING POST
A tall post with tethers used to position a person for ease of whipping in BDSM play