Swinging, Open Relationships, Kink & Sex Terms

When you enter the lifestyle, there might be some terminology you’re unfamiliar with. This is a list of words and descriptions that you may encounter and are meant to help you navigate swinger relationships, open relationships, polyamory, other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, as well as BDSM, kink and fetish scenes.

– A –

ABRASION 
Stimulation of the skin causing friction by rubbing, grinding, or using materials like leather, brushes, rough fabrics, etc.

AC/DC 
Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual

ADULT 
Euphemism for 21+ (or 18+ where applicable) and used to indicate sexual or pornographic content

AFTERCARE 
In BDSM circles, aftercare involves the Dominant caring for the submissive, emotionally and/or physically following a BDSM scene. This is usually done to help ease the intensity of the submissive's experience and soothe them. Aftercare can be different for different people and is usually dependent on the submissive's individual needs, and can be of varying durations (from minutes to hours or days afterwards). For example, caressing the hair, saying comforting things, wrapping in a blanket, getting the submissive something to eat/drink, cuddling, etc.

AGE PLAY 
Within the fetish / kink community, age play refers to consensual roleplay that involves the nurturing aspects of a relationship with a significant age difference. This might not necessarily mean that the individuals participating in age play do have a significant age difference. In age play, participants might use names such as "little", "little girl", "little boy", to signify the younger participant; "Daddy", "Mommy" or other terms may be used for the older participant. Age play might include non-sexual activities such as playtime, bedtime, homework, etc.

AIRTIGHT 
A consensual group sex or gangbang activity wherein a person with a vagina is simultaneously penetrated in their mouth, vagina, and anus.

ALL 
Person or couple up for all fetishes and sexual activities

AMERICAN 
A term used to describe a sexual position that traditionally has the female underneath and the man on top; also known as missionary position.

ANAL 
Refers to anal sex or anal play; play where the anus may be rimmed and/or penetrated with fingers, penis, or sex toys.

ANAL BEADS 
A set of beads, usually made of body-safe plastic, silicone, metal, glass, or other materials, which can be of varying sizes, and are strung together and used to insert into the anus for anal pleasure.

ANAL PLUG 
A sex toy shaped for use in the anus; also used for "ass training" to stretch out the anus; a.k.a., butt plug or just "plug". In anal training, people often begin with smaller anal plugs and gradually increase the size of the plug as their comfort level increases and their body acclimates to the new toy. Importantly, anal plugs have a flared base that prevents the toy from getting lost within the anal cavity and ensures safe removal. Decorative anal plugs can have a jewel or tail at the base.

ANAL TORTURE 
BDSM practice of inflicting pain on a person's anus in a way that may give them sexual pleasure.

ANILINGUS 
Refers to the use of a person's mouth to orally stimulate another person's anus by kissing, licking, sucking, or rimming, for the purpose of sexual pleasure.

ARTS 
Within the kink community, this can be used as a euphemism for fetishes.

– B –

B&D 
Refers to the "B" and "D" within the term BDSM: "Bondage" and "Discipline". Within BDSM, participants, usually a "Dominant" and a "submissive", might use a variety of sexual and non-sexual activities such as bondage and discipline to stimulate arousal. In bondage scenarios within BDSM, a Dominant might tie up or otherwise restrain a submissive's body parts, as a form of control, and may then perform other acts on the submissive while they are restrained. The bondage may also be an end to itself, such as in the case of Shibari art, for the submissive's pleasure of being bound.

BALL STRETCHING 
An activity which can be done during BDSM play which involves the Dominant using constraints and weights to provide a variety of sensations while stretching their submissive's scrotum.

BAREBACKING 
A sexual act referring to a person with a penis penetrating someone's vagina or anus without the use of a condom, hence, "bare".

BBW 
Often a term or genre referred to in pornography or erotica, Big Beautiful Woman means a female who is confidently voluptuous.

BDSM 
BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. This encompasses the themes of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. This can involve the psychological as well as the physical aspects of BDSM, and can be softcore to hardcore. BDSM is always done CONSENSUALLY. This means that the Submissive gives permission to their Dominant to do these activities to them, and both partners are aware of the boundaries and agree to them before play. Refers to the "B" and "D" within the term BDSM: "Bondage" and "Discipline". Within BDSM, participants, usually a "Dominant" and a "submissive", might use a variety of sexual and non-sexual activities such as bondage and discipline to stimulate arousal. In bondage scenarios within BDSM, a Dominant might tie up or otherwise restrain a submissive's body parts, as a form of control, and may then perform other acts on the submissive while they are restrained. The bondage may also be an end to itself, such as in the case of Shibari art, for the submissive's pleasure of being bound.

BI-CURIOUS 
Typically refers to a heterosexual person who has an interest or "curiosity" to explore sexual activities with someone of the same gender. Within the open lifestyle, people who are "situationally bisexual", meaning that given a certain scenario or person may be interested in playing with someone of the same gender, can also fall into this category of bi-curious.

BISEXUAL 
Bisexual, bi; a person with physical and/or emotional attraction to their own and other genders

BIZARRE 
Indication for unusual sexual desires

BJ 
Also known as "fellatio", a "blow job" means oral sex performed on a person with a penis, but can also be used to describe oral sex done on someone wearing a strap-on dildo.

BLACK SHEET PARTY 
A slang term used for an orgy involving people who are into BDSM.

BONDAGE 
Bondage is known as restrictive play and involves tying or strapping a SUBMISSIVE, with rope, cuffs, etc in a manner that prevents them from moving. This can be done with the intention of performing sexual acts on the Submissive, but sometimes bondage can be an end in itself (because the Submissive enjoys being bound) or as an art form (e.g., Shibari bondage).

BOOT WORSHIP 
Within the BDSM / kink community, boot worship is known as a fetish revolving around the Dominant's boots or footwear, in which the submissive might kiss, lick, caress, or otherwise idolize their Dominant's boots to show reverence, devotion, or humility; may also be used as a disciplinary tactic on behalf of the Dominant who commands that their submissive worship their boots as a form of humiliation.

BREATH PLAY 
a.k.a., Erotic asphyxiation, Breath Play is an activity where a person experiences temporary euphoria due to the oxygen deprivation and lack of blood flow to their brain. This can be done within the context of BDSM or kink play, but may also be used outside of those scenarios. Typically, the Dominant, or the person who is asphyxiating the breathless individual or submissive, will carefully cover the person's mouth and nose and suffocate them, or choke them by applying pressure to the carotid artery in their neck. Because asphyxiation is inherently dangerous, breath play is done with the utmost caution and requires understanding the limits of a person's physical and psychological well-being to ensure that it is done safely. Breath play can also be practiced solo, without a partner, and this is termed "auto-erotic asphyxiation".

BUKKAKE 
Bukkake is the Japanese word for splash. In a sexual context, bukkake refers to the act of multiple men ejaculating on one person's body at the same time, typically in the context of group sex or gangbang scenarios.

BULL 
The male who takes sexual "ownership" over another man's female partner at their invitation; in short, the male who services the HOTWIFE or VIXEN

BYOB 
Bring Your Own Booze

BYOC 
Bring Your Own Condoms

BYOL 
Bring Your Own Lube

– C –

CAN ENTERTAIN 
Used within the context of party or event descriptions, refers to a person, couple or people open to hosting others in their home for the purpose of sexual activities.

CAN TRAVEL 
Person, couple, or people who are able and willing to travel a distance to meet others for sexual activities.

CANING 
Within the context of BDSM, caning is a fetish used in impact play that involves the Dominant spanking, hitting, or tapping a submissive's body parts. Caning is usually used for discipline purposes but can also be done as a warm-up to more intense impact play using other implements.

CHEATING 
Engaging in sexual activity with others without consent of spouse

CISGENDER 
A term used to describe when a person's gender matches the gender with which they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned a female when they were born (i.e. by a medical practitioner on their birth certificate) continues to feel like and identify as a female as they grow up, is considered cisgendered. Gender is a fluid concept and can change over time.

CLEAN 
Free of STD’s

CLOSED DOOR/CLOSED SWINGING 
Within the context of swinging or open relationships, "closed" often refers to open couples who feel comfortable engaging in separate sexual activities in different rooms or locations from their primary partners.

CLOSET SWINGER 
Person hiding the fact that they are a swinger. This can be the case for people who are high-profile or whose professional reputation, culture, religion, or social group do not permit them to be open about their lifestyle.

COCK RING 
A sex toy in an O shape or ring shape designed to wrap around the base of a person's penis and/or balls, which is used to increase and/or concentrate blood flow during self-stimulation and sex, potentially leading to longer-lasting erections. Some cock rings may also feature a shape that simultaneously stimulates the perineum and/or the anus for added pleasure. Some cock rings also have an attachment, for instance, "rabbit ears" designed to provide extra stimulation to their partner's clitoris during sex. Vibrating cock rings and remote-controlled cock rings can be helpful tools for couples to increase intimacy in their sex lives. Note: cock rings must be put on while the wearer's penis is not erect.

COCK WORSHIP 
When a person spends a lot of time and attention stimulating someone's penis or dildo to give them pleasure and show devotion. This often involves oral sex and/or manual stimulation, and may be included as part of BDSM play by the submissive on their Dominant.

COLLAR 
Within the BDSM community, a submissive may wear a collar or necklace around their neck to signify that they are "owned" by, dedicated to, or under the control of a Dominant. In BDSM, collaring a submissive can be very ceremonial and significant.

COMPERSION 
Within open relationships, especially polyamory, compersion is the opposite of jealousy, and refers to a person's emotional satisfaction of knowing and/or seeing the joy that their partner experiences with other people romantically, platonically, and/or sexually. Compersion is not necessary for open relationships to work. A person might experience feelings of compersion for their partner in some scenarios and with some partners, but may experience jealousy at other times.

CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY 
Relationships and/or intimacy with more than one partner. Consensual or ethical non-monogamy means that all the partners involved are aware that their relationships are not exclusive, and there are other partners involved. Includes POLYAMORY and SWINGERS. This is not the same as cheating, in which one partner is not aware of their partner's activities.

CONSENT 
The explicit permission for any sexual activity, it can be retracted before and during sexual activity

COUGAR 
A slang term for a female who has a sexual and/or romantic preference for significantly younger partners.

COUPLE / CPL 
A couple is defined as two people who are in a sexual and/or romantic relationship. This includes couples who are dating, married, cohabiting, or who commonly play together in certain scenarios (e.g. two single individuals). Being a couple does not necessitate a monogamous relationship; couples can also be open and in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship which may involve other partners.

CROSSDRESSER 
Formerly known as transvestite, a crossdresser is an individual who wears clothes of the opposite gender they were assigned at birth

CUCKOLD 
Cuckolding is the practice of a couple in which the male partner wants to watch his partner have sexual relations with another individual (or several individuals), without his direct sexual involvement. In this case, the male "cuckold" acts as a VOYEUR and is often (but not always) present to witness his partner engaging in sexual acts with the third person (or more people). Often (but not always), the cuckold takes on a SUBMISSIVE role and may also want his partner to humiliate him verbally (and/or physically) during this time with the third partner present (e.g. "He's more of a man than you are," etc.). This is done with the male's consent (not the same as a man witnessing his wife cheating without his consent). The female version of this is called "CUCKQUEANING" or "Cuckqueanry," in which the female plays the role of the Submissive who is witnessing their partner engaging in these acts with another person (or several people).

CUCKOLDRESS 
A woman who cuckolds her husband/boyfriend; an adulterous woman who cuckolds her male partner

CUCKQUEAN 
The female in a relationship consensually watches or is forced to watch her husband play with others

CUFFS 
Often used within BDSM scenarios, cuffs fasten and/or lock around a submissive's wrists and/or ankles to restrict their movement. Cuffs can be attached to tables, beds, poles, etc. or to themselves. In a hogtie, a person's ankles and wrists are bound together behind their backs.

CULTURE 
Euphemism for fetish or arts

CUM 
A commonly-used slang term for a person's ejaculate or sexual fluids. Cumming may refer to either or both the action of climaxing as well as ejaculating. Fluid play can often involve cum.

CUNNILINGUS 
Oral sex performed on a person with a vagina to stimulate their vulva and/or clitoris. Oral sex may include penetration with a person's tongue and/or fingers and/or sex toys to increase pleasure. Often known as a form of foreplay prior to penetrative sex, cunnilingus can help increase a person's sexual arousal to make it more likely for them to have an orgasm during penetrative sex. Cunnilingus can (and should) be performed as an end to itself for the receiver's sexual pleasure.

– D –

DILDO 
A sex toy that may resemble a phallus, made out of silicone, rubber, plastic, metal, or glass that can be used for sexual stimulation, often for the purposes of penetration. Some dildos vibrate. Dildos can be shaped to stimulate the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the G-spot, and/or the anus. A double-ended dildo can be used to achieve dual stimulation to penetrate two individuals simultaneously. A strap-on dildo can be worn with a harness by someone with or without a penis for the purpose of penetrating another person.

DISCIPLINARIAN 
An authority role represented in the "D" in "BDSM." A type of DOMINANT or TOP, a Disciplinarian focuses on punishment as their form of Domination for their SUBMISSIVE or BOTTOM.

DISCIPLINE 
Discipline can also be called "behavior correction" and can involve the DOMINANT using sadist activities, bondage, or psychological domination with the SUBMISSIVE.

DISCREET / DISCRETION 
Refers to an individual who is exercising and seeking caution when it comes to communication and shared media to keep them secret, often because they do not want their activities known by others. Anyone might seek discretion, but this might be more common in the contexts of kink and/or open communities.

DOCILE 
Within the kink community, docile refers to a submissive individual who is willing to receive bondage and/or discipline from a Dominant.

DOMESTIC TRAINING 
Submissive obedience with a focus to intimate and/or humiliating household chores

DOMINANT 
Dominance can be physical and/or psychological. This is done by the Dominant (aka Dom or Master or Top) to the SUBMISSIVE (aka Sub or Slave or Bottom). It can involve everything from verbal commands (e.g. "you're mine") to physical commands ("get on your knees"). Dominance and SUBMISSION (also called D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can also be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. See BDSM for more info.

DP 
Double penetration means that both the vagina and anus are penetrated during sexual play. DVP refers to Double Vaginal Penetration, which means that two phalluses are penetrating the vagina simultaneously, while DAP (a.k.a. Double Anal Penetration) refers to two phalluses penetrating the anus at the same time. In an "airtight", double penetration is involved as well as simultaneous oral penetration and often happens in group sex or orgy scenarios.

DRAG QUEEN / DRAG KING 
A Drag Queen is typically a male-presenting person who dresses head-to-toe in a hyper-femme aesthetic. When dressed for entertainment purposes, a Drag Queen also assumes their character's identity during their act. A Drag King is a typically female-presenting person assuming a masculine aesthetic.

DUNGEON 
A room or area with BDSM equipment and/or play space.

DUNGEON MASTER 
Within the BDSM community and kink play, a Dungeon Master (a.k.a. a DM) is a supervisor who enforces house rules at a play party or dungeon to ensure that consent and safety are respected.

– E –

ED 
Erectile Dysfunction

EDGE PLAY 
SM play that involves the possibility of physical or emotional harm; not to be confused with EDGING, which involves denying and delaying orgasm

EDGING 
A BDSM technique involving denying and delaying someone of their orgasm; bringing a person close to climax but not allowing them to orgasm; not to be confused with EDGE PLAY

ELECTRIC PLAY 
Refers to exploring the mysterious effects of applying electric pulses for excitement and sexual gratification; alluring for a submissive

ELECTROSEX 
Refers to using specially designed machines to apply electrical stimulation to the genitals for sexual pleasure

ELLIS 
Ellis is code for L.S. aka Lifestyle. The question “Are you a friend of Ellis?” can help identify those in the lifestyle without compromising confidentiality.

ENGLISH CULTURE 
Sexual stimulation

ENTERTAIN 
Person or couple open to receiving others in their home for sexual activities

EXHIBITIONIST 
Someone who enjoys being watched during sexual activity. Includes sharing erotic and explicit photos and videos.

– F –

F 
Female

FACE SLAPPING 
BDSM play where moderate slapping the face is used for humiliation and/or control

FANTASY ABANDONMENT 
BDSM play where a submissive is left in a certain area to exert control and/or as a form of punishment

FELCHING 
A sexual activity that involves the act of orally sucking semen out of the anus

FELLATIO 
Sexual stimulation of the penis by moth, tongue, lips and teeth

FETISH 
Sexual arousal through the use of non-sexual objects, clothing, actions, or non-genital anatomy

FIGGING 
A BDSM practice where a piece of peeled ginger root is inserted into the anus or vagina

FISTING 
Anal or vaginal play involving placing the entire hand into the rectum or vagina; extremely dangerous if not performed correctly

FLAGGELLATION 
Sexual stimulation through pain, usually whipping or spanking

FLOGGER 
A BDSM whip device with many "tails" used on buttocks, back, and/or genital areas

FLOGGING HORSE 
A bench-like device used to secure someone in a mounted position for the BDSM activity FLOGGING

FOREPLAY 
Sexual activities performed between sexual partners before sex that leads to arousal. For example, fingering, handjobs, oral sex, touching, caressing, erotic massage, kissing, etc.

FRENCH CULTURE 
Oral-genital sexual activity; aka Fellatio, Cunnilingus

FULL SWAP 
A swinger term for when a couple exchanges partners for (typically penetrative) sexual activity

FUN GAMES 
Euphemism or sexual activity

– G –

GAG 
Form of BDSM play where the use of the mouth is restricted by inserting a gag (i.e., cloth, leather, ballgag, etc.)

GANGBANG 
A gangbang is a situation in which several people engage in physical sexual activity with one specific individual sequentially or at the same time. That specific individual is the central focus of the sexual activity; for example, it could be one woman surrounded by several men or a man with multiple women. See also BUKKAKE.

GATES OF HELL 
A type of BDSM cock ring used to restrict blood flow; usually made out of metal with several rings attached together ranging from larger at the base to smaller toward the tip of the penis

GAY 
A person with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender, typically used to indicate two males; a.k.a., homosexual

GBM 
Gay Black Male

GENEROUS 
Refers to money in exchange for sex

GENITORTURE 
Form of BSDM play where pain is inflicted to the genitals for sexual gratification

GOKKUN 
A Japanese term meaning "gulp" used to describe a sexual activity involving the consumption of semen from one or more partners, often from a serving vessel; generally performed at the end of BUKKAKE

GROUP ROOM 
Room dedicated to group sex, usually furnished with mattresses or mats

GROUP SEX 
Group sex usually involves four or more people, even if not everyone is sexually involved with each of the partners

GWM 
Gay White Male

– H –

HANDLER 
A DOMINANT role in a PET PLAY dynamic of BDSM, a Handler assumes full responsibility for their SUB or BOTTOM, known as their PET.

HARD CORE 
A swingers party or gathering where sexual interaction is expected

HARD LIMIT 
A non-negotiable sexual act that someone will not do

HEAD 
Oral-genital sexual stimulation of a male penis

HEDONIST 
Someone who lives for sensual pleasure

HETEROSEXUAL 
A person who is attracted to the opposite sex

HOGTIE 
A method of tying up wrists and ankles of a submissive with ropes or cuffs

HOMOSEXUAL 
Person attracted to members of the same sex

HORNY 
Sexually aroused

HOT HUSBANDRY 
The male equivalent of the HOTWIFING scenario

HOTWIFE/HOTWIFING 
A roleplay fetish involving a woman who has sexual play sessions outside of her relationship with full consent, permission, and encouragement from her husband/partner

HUNG 
Refers to having a large penis

HWP 
Height-Weight Proportionate: indicates an ideal body weight

– I –

ICE PLAY 
Use of ice cubes on genital areas, nipples, and other erogenous zones

IMMOBILIZATION 
Any form of bondage to immobilize someone, usually used for extreme bondage practices

IMPACT PLAY 
BDSM sensation play that deals with impact on the body such as the use of whips, crops, paddles, floggers, etc.

INDOOR SPORTS 
General indication for swinging activities

INTERESTED 
Person seeking a relationship that includes swinging for emotion and recreational purposes

IRL 
In Real Life; used in ads or online chat

ISO 
In Search Of; used in ads

– K –

KINBAKU 
(a.k.a., Shibari) A Japanese style of bondage of creating visually-intricate patterns with rope

– L –

LEATHER 
A fetish; sexual arousal by wearing or touching leather or leather garments

LEATHER DADDY / MOMMY 
A person of leadership and influence in the LEATHER community of BDSM, a Leather Daddy / Mommy takes on the role and responsibility of a Top and/or Dom(me) in dynamics typically known as Daddy/boy and Mommy/girl.

LESBIAN 
A female with physical and emotional attraction to their own gender

LGBTQIA+ 
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. The plus indicates that there are more identities, and the current full acronym is LGBTQQIAAP (the remaining letters are: Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, and Pansexual, with even more identities that fall under the Gender and Sexuality Minorities umbrella.

LOVER 
A sexual partner. Could be an individual who is single or already in a relationship, engaging with multiple partners and relationships.

LTR 
Long Term Relationship

– M –

MARITAL 
Devices used for sexual stimulation of self and others

MASOCHISM 
Masochism or to be a "masochist" is to get sexual pleasure from receiving physical or psychological pain that is inflicted by another person (usually the DOMINANT). Typically the SUBMISSIVE/Slave/Bottom is the person receiving pain from the Master/DOMINANT/Top.

MASOCHISTIC CUCKOLD 
A man who experiences sexual pleasure from humiliation and degradation by his female partner (CUCKOLDRESS) and BULL.

MASTER/SLAVE 
Participants in a sexual relationship that includes bondage and discipline

MASTURBATION 
Self-pleasure performed on your own body, often (but not always) to orgasm

MATROOM 
Room dedicated to group sex

MBC 
Married Black Couple

MBIC 
Married Bisexual Couple

MEET FOR PLEASURE 
Person willing to meet for sex; without any further social or emotional interest

MENAGE A TROIS 
Three people having sex

MENTAL HEALTH 
All non-physical health topics. Emotional and behavioral (psychological) aspects of life and self-care.

MORESOME 
More than three persons having sex

MUNCH 
A code word for a group of people into BDSM to meet at vanilla places in street clothes

MWC 
Married White Couple

– N –

NASCA 
North American Swing Club Association

NEWBIE 
New persons entering the swinger scene

NIPPLE CLAMPS 
Clamp-type devices placed on the nipples to stimulate and stop blood flow to the nipples

NIPPLE RINGS 
Rings pierced through the nipple to stimulate sensation

NON-SMOKER 
Does not smoke. If mentioned in ad, person is looking for sexual encounter with a person or couple who are non-smokers.

NYOTAIMORI 
"body sushi" or sushi displayed on a woman's naked body; nantaimori is the male equivalent

– O –

OFF-PREMISE 
No sexual activity takes place; you meet and make your own arrangements elsewhere

OPEN 
One or more people maintaining committed or casual relationships with other people (i.e., a couple that consensually dates separately outside of their marriage)

OPEN DOOR/SWINGING 
Sexual Activity with another couple in the same room. Several or all participating couples sexually active in the same room

ORAL 
Sexual acts performed with the mouth on genitals of any gender. See also ANILINGUS, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, FRENCH CULTURE, and HEAD.

ORGASMS 
Sexual climaxes and methods to achieve them

ORGY 
Sexual activity by several people in the same room; see also GROUP SEX, MORESOME

OTK 
Over The Knee (spanking)

– P –

P/P 
Photo and phone number

PANSEXUAL 
The ability and potential to feel sexual attraction to anyone regardless of gender; sometimes conflated with bisexuality and omnisexuality, but the distinction of labels is common in the LGBTQIA+ community

PARTY 
Any gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging; see also SOCIAL

PARTY CLOTHES 
Clothing meant as sexy party wear to show off the body for erotic courting and play

PARTY HOUSE 
A non-membership swinger club offering a regular schedule for on-premise swingers parties

PASSIVE 
Quiet and submissive person, willing to receive corrective training

PEARL NECKLACE 
Sexual act in which a male ejaculates semen on or near the neck, chest, or breasts

PEGGING 
A sexual practice where a person without a penis penetrates a partner's anus with a strap-on dildo

PHOTO 
Nude or sexually explicit photos

PHOTOGRAPHY 
Interested in exchanging or creating nude or sexually explicit photographs

PHYSICAL HEALTH 
All non-psychological health topics. Physiological, of the body.

PIV/PIA 
Penis in Vagina / Penis in Anus acronyms for non-oral penile penetrative sex

POLYAMORY 
Emotional and/or physical relationships with more than one partner at the same time

POWER EXCHANGE 
The relinquishing and assumption of control as part of or within a BDSM kink dynamic (Domination/submission).

PRIMAL 
A form of BDSM, primal play is practiced by "primals" who express their raw, animalistic side during sexual activity. Stronger vocalizations, such as growling, and physical behaviors like scratching and wresting, are common. Some primals also emulate specific non-human animals during sessions.

PRO 
Professional; in other words prostitutes or escorts

PUSSY WORSHIP 
A form of erotic play involving cleaning, licking, shaving, etc. of the vagina

– Q –

QUEEF/QUEEFING 
An audible, involuntary release of air from the vagina

QUEER 
The Q in LGBTQIA+, queer folx don't identify with conventional labels and instead use individualized, often fluid (ever-changing) gender and sexuality expressions.

– R –

RACK 
Short for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, meaning that participants in the BDSM scene agree to and acknowledge the associated risks

RAVAGEMENT FANTASY 
a.k.a., Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy; Ravagement Fantasy is a type of Risk Aware Consensual Kink BDSM scene involving roleplaying as a victim who is consensually forced into sex by an aggressor or a group of aggressors. There is often an element of capture where the victim is taken away. Once captured, they can be bound, forcefully penetrated, and/or any other desired acts such as physically harmed, blindfolded, etc. The aggressor(s) develop the scene based on previously agreed-upon themes by and with the victim.

RECREATIONAL 
A person or couple practicing swinging for recreational purposes and not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment

RESTRAINT 
Mild bondage used in the enactment of sexual fantasies

RIGGER 
A person who practices a specific form of BONDAGE, typically with rope, on a ROPE BUNNY or ROPE BOTTOM.

RIMMING 
Form of anal play; see also ANILINGUS

RISK AWARE SEX 
Common among HSV and other STI/STD positive people, Risk Aware Sex involves consensual participation in sexual activity upon disclosure of STI/STD status

ROLEPLAY 
Act out a different persona dressed in sexy themed outfits

ROMAN  
Group sex, orgies, party scene

ROMAN CULTURE 
Sexual orgies

ROPE BUNNY / BOTTOM 
The receiving partner to the RIGGER in a BDSM dynamic, a Rope Bunny or Rope Bottom experiences psychological and/or sexual pleasure from being bound with rope or other forms of tied BONDAGE.

RUBBER 
Condom; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, associated with Bondage & Discipline

– S –

S&M 
Sadism and Masochism

SADISM 
Sadism is a term derived from the Marquis de Sade. To be a "sadist" is to get sexual pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain on another person (usually the SUBMISSIVE). Typically the DOMINANT/Master/Top is the person inflicting pain upon the Submissive/Slave/Bottom.

SAFE 
Sterile person

SAFE WORD 
A specific word agreed upon in BDSM settings that indicates consent is per immediate withdrawn

SAFER SEX 
Refers to the practice of mindful, protected sex; there is no such thing as safe sex, as there is always at least some risk of infection, disease, pregnancy, etc.

SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS 
a.k.a., BDSM cross, bondage cross, crux decussata, saltire, X-cross, X-frame, this piece of restraint equipment is common in BDSM dungeons

SAPIOSEXUAL 
Erotic attraction to intelligent people; sexual stimulation experienced during intellectual conversation or other displays of knowledge

SBF 
Single Black Female

SBIF 
Single Bisexual Female

SBM 
Single Black Male

SENSATION PLAY 
Play where the intent is to explore and push a person's sensory limits

SEX TOYS 
Sexual devices, a.k.a. pleasure products

SEXUAL HEALTH 
Topics regarding safer sex practices (contraception, STI/STD prevention) and the well-being of the body in relation to sexual activity and sexual confidence

SGL/SINGLE 
Single, a swinger without a partner

SHIBARI 
a.k.a., KINBAKU; a form of intricate Japanese rope bondage

SNOWBALLING 
Sexual practice where semen is passed on from mouth to mouth

SOCIAL 
A party or gathering organized by a swingers club or others for swinger to meet and socialize

SOCIAL SWING CLUB 
A swingers club, usually membership-based for on-premise swinger activities

SODOMY 
Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation

SOFT LIMIT 
A sexual act someone is hesitant to do or try

SOFT SWAP 
A swinger term for when a couple performs non-penetrative sexual activity with each others' partners, i.e., kissing, oral, sensual massage, etc.

SOFT SWINGERS 
Couples who choose to have intercourse exclusively with their own partner

SOFT SWINGING 
Term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched or any sexual activity not including intercourse

SOP 
Swinger Open Poly; another lifestyle acronym for consensual non-monogamy

SPANKING 
The BDSM practice of spanking someone for sexual arousal or gratification; a form of IMPACT PLAY involving hands or toys for erotic pleasure

SQUIRTING 
Female ejaculation. The act of a female ejaculating during a sexual act

SRS 
Same Room Sex

STAG 
A man who encourages his female partner, known as a VIXEN, to have sex with other men; he may or may not engage in GROUP SEX with his Vixen

STD/STI 
Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection; STDs: Sexually-transmitted diseases that affect the reproductive system. (e.g., HPV, Herpes, HIV/AIDS); STIs: Sexually-transmitted infections. Distinct from diseases, as these are treatable and usually temporary. (e.g., Chlamydia)

STEALTHING 
The act of removing a condom during or right before sexual intercourse without consent

STR/STRAIGHT 
Not homosexual person. Describes a person who does not do drugs. Used by swingers to denote non-swingers

SUBMISSIVE 
Submission can be physical and/or psychological. A Submissive is a.k.a. Sub, Slave, or Bottom. This is done by the DOMINANT (aka Dom, Master, or Top). It can involve everything from following verbal commands and performing commanded actions.

SWAFFLE/SWAFFLING 
The intentional slapping of the penis against something or someone for sexual arousal and gratification

SWAPPING 
Couples exchanging partners for sexual activity

SWEDISH CULTURE 
Use of hands in massage to sexually stimulate

SWF 
Single White Female

SWINGING 
The consensual pursuit of sexual partnerships with other couples. This can also involve individuals who are open-minded and navigate the swinger lifestyle individually (not necessarily only with their partner), and can be called unicorns, rhinos, stallions, etc.

SWINGING LIFESTYLE 
Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life and intimate relationships

SWINGING MARRIAGE 
A marriage that is open to swinging

SWM 
Single White Male

– T –

TAN 
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus

TANTRA/TANTRIC SEX 
Specific acts and positions that synchronize partners into a meditative state. A form of SACRED sex and intimacy. See also SPIRITUAL.

TEABAGGING 
Sexual act in which someone uses their mouth to suck on a scrotum

TEASING 
The act of playfully teasing a partner to stimulate sexual pleasure

THREESOME 
Three people engaging in sexual activity with each other

TICKET 
A person, usually a female solely for the purpose to enable a male to gain entrance

TICKLERS 
Sex toys like feathers and rods with floggers attached

TNG 
Short for The Next Generation, usually involving younger people from ages 18 to 35

TOY 
Someone who becomes a Toy in a BDSM ROLEPLAY scene is no longer treated as a person but rather as a purely sexual object for the sole purpose of pleasuring someone else.

TPE 
Short for Total Power Exchange; usually a relationship where the Dominant makes all the decisions for a submissive

TPE 
Total Power Exchange. The relinquishing and assumption of control as part of or within a BDSM kink dynamic (Domination/submission). "Total" here meaning that the giving up of control extends into everyday life — everything from what and when to eat, when to go to bed — in addition to the sexual dynamic.

TRANSGENDER 
A person that does not feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned to at birth. This may or may not involve a physical transition to become the gender they feel psychologically. This can denote someone who has physically transitioned into having the opposite reproductive organs and hormones than those with which they were born (i.e., a person with male genitals would undergo reassignment surgery to have a vagina and vulva and many receive breast implants and use hormone therapy to give them more feminine features).

TRIAD 
Three people, in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome

TRIOLISM 
Used in profiles to indicate desire for “threesomes”

– U –

UNICORN 
Single females or female-identified individuals who are ideally bisexual and open to playing with couples for threesomes and others within a swinging or open relationship.

UNICORN HUNTING 
The act of searching for a Unicorn, like when a couple is looking for a unicorn for a threesome or group sex experience. This can include using dating websites or apps, and meeting unicorns in person at erotic events and sex / swingers' clubs.

UNIFORM 
A form of roleplay where uniforms are worn

UTOPIAN SWINGER 
A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals

– V –

VAGINISMUS 
A condition involving muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles, which can cause painful, difficult or even impossible to have sexual intercourse, undergo a gynecological exam or insert a tampon

VAGINITIS 
Inflammation of the vagina that can result in discharge, itching and pain

VALIDATION 
The action of proving the validity of a profile or person to be real

VANILLA 
Someone who is not into the open swinging lifestyle

VERSATILE 
Bisexual

VIBRATOR 
Battery run vibrating device for sexual stimulation

VIOLET WAND 
A device used in electrical play which produces electrical sparks when it touches the body

VIXEN 
Another word for HOTWIFE; a woman who has sex with people besides her primary partner at the encouragement of her primary partner, known as a STAG

VOLUPTUOUS 
Fullness of beauty and form

VOYEUR 
A person who enjoys watching others having sex; engages in VOYEURISM

VOYEURISM 
Sexual gratification by watching others having sex; practiced by a VOYEUR. Includes viewing erotic and explicit photos and videos.

– W –

WATER SPORTS 
Sexual activity in which urine is involved

WAY-OUTS/WEIRDOS 
People interested in activities considered bizarre, kinky, highly unusual or unconventional

WHIP 
A device usually made out of leather and used for striking in sexual BDSM play

WHIPPING POST 
A tall post with tethers used to position a person for ease of whipping in BDSM play

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© Copyright 2021 SDC www.sdc.com. All rights reserved