Description

The Great Tudor House Horticultural Society is pleased to announce that we have once again subdued the sentient venus fly traps, and we are now open to party. (Assuming, of course, that they do not somehow gain the ability to use tools… In which case we will be sidetracked with the very necessary task of acquiring flamethrowers to deal with this issue).

We’re turning the house into an overgrown Victorian conservatory for a night of flowers, foliage, competitive gardening, and sexy botanical displays. Grab a plant, lace up your corset, and come get pollinated! That’s right! This is a plant swap combo play party!

If you’re new to The Tudor House, please make sure to complete the vetting process at www.thetudorhouse.org before RSVPing.

✨ What to Expect:

🪴The Plant Exchange and Potting Station:

Bring a plant to swap!

Houseplants, propagated cuttings, rooted starts, succulents, herbs, seeds, intere... Read More

The Great Tudor House Horticultural Society is pleased to announce that we have once again subdued the sentient venus fly traps, and we are now open to party. (Assuming, of course, that they do not somehow gain the ability to use tools… In which case we will be sidetracked with the very necessary task of acquiring flamethrowers to deal with this issue).

We’re turning the house into an overgrown Victorian conservatory for a night of flowers, foliage, competitive gardening, and sexy botanical displays. Grab a plant, lace up your corset, and come get pollinated! That’s right! This is a plant swap combo play party!

If you’re new to The Tudor House, please make sure to complete the vetting process at www.thetudorhouse.org before RSVPing.

✨ What to Expect:

🪴The Plant Exchange and Potting Station:

Bring a plant to swap!

Houseplants, propagated cuttings, rooted starts, succulents, herbs, seeds, interesting pots, and other portable botanical accoutrement are all welcome. We’ll have a dedicated plant exchange area with labels so you can include the plant name, basic care information, and anything else its new caretaker ought to know. (Including whether they should sleep with one eye open around the plant). We’ll also have pots and generic potting soil, but feel free to bring your own as well!

You do not have to bring a plant to attend or to take plants home with you.

🏺 The Great Hothouse “Flower” Arranging Contest:

No proper horticultural society would gather without an opportunity to admire everyone else’s specimens.

Anyone who chooses to participate in the flower arranging contest will be given flowers and… other items to arrange into a breathtaking display. Feel free to use items that you have brought, or to arrange your flowers as a team. (Or to arrange your team’s flowers.) Come design a masterpiece that Georgia O’Keefe would be proud to paint. Actual horticultural expertise is not required and may, in fact, be a disadvantage.

🌿Name That Herb:

How confident are you in your ability to identify herbs? Could you identify any herb, even if you were stripped naked and blindfolded, and then sprigs of said herb were traced across your body?

If so, this is the contest for you! No one ever has to get more naked than they’re comfortable with.

🥀Garden Confessional:

How many monstera have you killed? Have you ever fucked behind the azaleas in a botanical garden? Enter your plant crimes into the garden confessional, and we’ll read a handful of the best ones for everyone’s amusement.

🖤 The Play Space & Dungeon:

The play space and dungeon will be open throughout the night for all of your “caught alone with the gardener in the orchid house” needs.

Equipment includes:

St. Andrew’s Cross & spanking bench
Chain spiderweb
Liberator
Reverse & coffin glory holes
Massage table
Over 300sqft of beds



The hothouse is warm and the orchids are blooming.
Come admire the specimens. Come exchange a few.
And if someone invites you to meet them behind the palms after dark, well—
This hothouse has survived worse scandals.
-Ash, Ivy, and Jess
Read Less