Swinging Myths and Concerns
If we were to compare how different life feels before and after swinging — we would say it’s a bit like having a baby! No matter what you learn or think, you really can’t know until you go through the change and experience it for yourself. Only then can you really know how your life can change for the better. And, like any change to your lifestyle, you have to take it seriously to give it a proper chance of succeeding. But we are all anything to go by; you won’t wish to go back!
Before you make the decision to start, you’ll hear all the reasons why you shouldn’t — often from people that have no clue what they’re talking about. You know, those ‘know it all,’ perhaps closed-minded people who are really only voicing their own concerns. They may have a point, though, because there will be some people like them in the swinging world for sure. But it’s not the norm.
Here are the seven most common myths you’ll probably hear — then we’ll give you our seven most common benefits you actually get from it. Quite the opposite!
The 7 Common Swinging Myths
1. Oh dear, you must have a bad marriage.
Swingers tend to have great relationships — and it's certainly necessary to have a good relationship if you want swinging to work for you. If you have a rocky relationship, no, swinging will not fix it. If you have a strong one, it will go from strong to stronger!
2. Oh dear, your partner will fall in love with someone else.
Just like you, everyone is happy with their own partner. It’s all about you two and that little extra gift you are giving each other on top. No one else is looking to acquire another partner either, so you don’t need to worry!
3. Oh dear, you're doing it with your secretary!
It is possible that someone can take a f**k buddy to a party when they don’t have a partner or choose not to take one. It is rarer than you think, and people usually declare their relationship easily. But it’s up to you if it’s important to you to know if your swinging couple is real or not (and to some of us, it is vital!).
4. Oh dear, you just want it for guaranteed sex.
A real myth is that it’s easy to succeed (sex, we mean) in this world. Actually, there are more misses than hits, but you realise as you go how it all is a fabulous exploration, and it all makes sex better and better. Just remember, this is meant to be an extra, not the main event. It helps, it is exciting, it can even be better than your own partner’s sex sometimes, but that’s the gift. Live it, learn from it, want more of it, bring it back to your own relationship, and life will be eternally rosy!
5. Oh dear, it's all about the man.
Actually, like most things… it’s not! Men do tend to get this ball rolling, but ladies — we do like to make it spin!
6. Oh dear, you're forced to take someone you don't like.
The old '60s keys in the bowl / '70s swing-with-anyone, wife-swapping myths are simply not true! In this world, more than anywhere, there is an openness and respect. No means no — always has, and always will.
The most important thing is that you communicate as a partnership and have your rules or boundaries or signals that help you through. These will help you enormously. If you do make mistakes, just follow the same guideline and communicate and fix it. We are all human, adult, and, most of all, developing in a way that will be great for us.
7. Oh dear, it's all about models and mansions.
More often than not, it's ordinary people in ordinary places… but doing extraordinary things! There are some dream-like fantasy parties, and we will write about these for you. The dream and fantasies are in finding clubs, private, or semi-private parties that fill your fantasy boots. All is not always what it seems, but we can help you find your way.
HOW IT REALLY IS...
The 7 Common Benefits of Swinging
1. Better relationship
It’s OK because, without a doubt, you will have a better relationship simply because of better communication.
In swinging, you have to communicate well to make it work. However, if you have an unstable relationship, to begin with, swinging is not a good way to make it better. It will make a rocky relationship collapse, but swinging can make a rock-solid relationship blossom and develop. All of us behind this blog are more in love than ever!
2. Take it or leave it
It’s OK — many people don’t swing all the time; it’s not a weekly hobby. You will find people start and stop, especially at the beginning, as you find what works for you. The point is to get to a place where you are relaxed enough to take it or leave it depending on your mood and what else might be going on in your life. If you’re not sure where you stand at the moment, watch for our “how you know you're a swinger” blog to see how that pans out!
3. Great friends
It’s more than OK. You’ll still make great friendships along the way. However, not everyone wants or needs new friends. Swinging, for a lot of people, is sexual pleasure or fantasies played out. However, for many others, particularly those in more mature relationships — swinging can also bring new friends into your life. Given that these couples have been intimate with each other makes for a very easy, open, and understanding friendships. Many have social dinners with old swinger friends.
It’s OK because swinging increases your sexual confidence (especially for women).
And sexy has nothing to do with body shape and size — it’s a state of mind. Having the chance to explore, be adored, and played with gives a certain confidence in your body. Knowing what you like and what you want gives your mind a boost.
It’s an ever-developing hobby, as you learn more about yourself and your needs — and then to be able to have them satisfied. The more open you are, the more you discover, and you might even surprise yourself with what you like. We take ourselves less seriously these days, and we’re all genuinely having more fun.
You get to see and appreciate all types of bodies and minds and surprise yourself with what appeals to you. It’s certainly true that outward beauty can only be skin deep and that the size of a cock has nothing to do with being a great lover!
7. Your thrilling little secret
Finally, you get to have your own little secret, and it's a thrill. You’ve elevated yourself out of the humdrum of ‘normal’ life to be one of those especially happy, relaxed people. You’ll discover that more people than you could have imagined are already in this place, too. SDC has millions of members — see what we at Me Time You Time (independent SDC experts) think about SDC. The friends close to you will wonder what makes you so contented and confident. They’ll be asking you for the secret of your new happiness!
Will you share your little secret?
We are members of several swinging sites, and we have written a whole page on the Me Time You Time swinging website about SDC. It's an independent, expert review about what we think — the benefits of joining, why you should listen to us, pricing, why full membership is so important, and so much more.