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7 Ways to Cherish Your Vagina

I realize that it’s even more important for us to cherish our vulvas and vaginas.

When I was growing up, my mom called it my “kitty kat.” I had to make sure that I took good care of my “kitty kat” and that I had to protect my “kitty kat” from any strangers who tried to come near her. If there was anyone who touched my “kitty kat,” it was to be immediately reported to my mom, no matter who it was. I loved my mom for this because she helped me to cherish my vulva and vagina and taught me that I had to love my “kitty kat” by taking good care of her.

Now that I’m older, I realize that it’s even more important for us to cherish our vulvas and vaginas. We are plagued with many more stresses than we had as kids and our bodies constantly go through changes that adversely affect our vaginas and vulvas. At times, our vaginas may become more sensitive. We might be more susceptible to Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) and Yeast Infections because our PH balances may become off. Our vaginas become sensitive to the touch when we’re ovulating or on our period, which helps us ignite our sexual energy.

With that said, I think it’s very important for us to cherish our genitals all the time. and there are several ways to do this:


KNOW her


Make sure you know all the parts of her. She will appreciate it. Be able to look at and point out your inner and outer lips, clitoris, urethral opening, G-spot, perineum, and anus. The more you know about her, the better you will be at exploring her.


PERSONIFY her


You can give her a name or just refer to her as she/her. I encourage you to say “my vagina,” “my pussy,” “my va-jay-jay,” “my yoni” or anything else you want to call her, as long as it’s preceded by “my.” Stay away from names like “it,” “down there” or anything that keeps you from connecting to your genitals. You want to be one with them because the better you treat her, the better she will be to you!


LOOK at her


At least once a week, you should look at your vulva to see what’s happening with her. Is her hair growing too wildly and need grooming? Does she have any idiosyncrasies like pimples, ingrown hairs or symptoms of infections? Check her out often to make sure she’s taken care of. If she looks good, she feels good, and she will treat you good.


CLEANSE her


I know this seems obvious, but sometimes it’s not. Although “ho baths” and baby wipes help to clean her, she really needs to have a bath or shower at least once a day. Make sure you get in all the little crevices between the lips and under the clitoral hood on the vulva. Your vagina cleanses herself naturally, so no need for douches (unless there’s an idiosyncrasy that requires it). Women’s clean, natural scents can be erotic and smells trigger memories; so make sure she smells wonderful!


STIMULATE her


You can stimulate her in a few ways: 1) Purposefully masturbate and/or bring her to orgasm; 2) read or visualize something sexual that wakes her up; 3) Kegel exercises; and/or 4) have someone else touch her and cherish her. Stimulating her helps you to relieve stress and releases pheromones, which allows you to feel good and attract people.


DISCIPLINE her


I know this sounds harsh, but your vagina will thank you for disciplining her. Sometimes she likes to be greedy, but remember that over-stimulation and acidic environments (too many acidic foods) are bad for her. However, don’t discipline her so much that you become neglectful. She needs to be loved and taken care of to the fullest of your capabilities.


PROTECT her


With your vagina, you want to always make sure that you protect her from sexually transmitted diseases/infections, by using condoms, latex gloves and open communication with your lover(s). With your vulva, you always want to make sure you protect her by using latex barriers for oral or vagina-vagina contact and use open communication to the best of your ability.




The better you take care of your vagina, the better she will be to you and not cause you any problems. Cherish her and love her and make sure that whoever wants to be near her, love and cherish her, too! xoxo, Marla

Marla Stewart

Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a professional sex, intimacy and relationship coach and sex educator. Not only is she a lecturer at Clayton State University, she is also the co-founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective. Gaining her reputation for being "The Sex Architect", she created Velvet Lips to empower people of all ages to embrace, educate and enjoy their sexuality and their sexual lives. She has studied human sexuality for more than 16 years at San Francisco State University and Georgia State University, respectively, and has expert knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. She has published academic articles and continues to do sexuality research. She has conducted workshops at conferences, not-for-profit and private organizations, as well as universities in the Atlanta area. She has been featured on many radio shows, documentaries, books, magazines and has been invited to speak at Universities around the country. She also sits on the board for the Atlanta Harm Reduction Coalition and SPARK Reproductive Justice Now!
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