Should You Use Condoms for Blowjobs?

SDC Cooper Beckett Life on the Swingset Oral Sex Health STI STD
SDC Cooper Beckett Life on the Swingset Oral Sex Health STI STD
Well, “Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea of the Throat” is a real thing.

The email read, “So, what are your thoughts on couples, or people in general for that matter, that abide by safe sex via proper use of condoms for PIV intercourse but then go ahead with bareback oral (fellatio or cunnilingus) and may even swallow with fellatio? This seems a very common paradigm yet seems so horribly hypocritical. Are people really just not thinking this through fully?” I leaped to answer it.


The Other Penetrative Sex


Okay, so first, confession time. Up until about two years ago, I was one of these swingers. 100% condom usage for penetrative sex (penis-in-vagina, penis-in-anus), but not for blowjobs (the other penetrative sex). Is this a big confession? Not really. Am I alone in this practice? I’d say the vast majority of the world (behold, as Coop makes sweeping generalizations with his bare hands!) practices what they term “safe sex” this way.

Are they wrong? Hypocrites? Are they calling down the wrath of some Elder God to punish them for their misdeeds?

No.

‘Cuz Cthulhu cares not for cunnilingus.


What Changed My Mind?


Anyway. So what happened? Why’d I change? Well, used to be I’d wait around the week after playtime for the telltale signs of one or more STIs to start showing up. Often feeling those telltale signs because I’m a major hypochondriac and could feel absolutely anything WebMD said I might feel. This was with partners who were careful and tested, and I had no reason to believe that they might have anything. But I was certain I had caught something.

Eventually, this feeling was so prevalent, I started to beg off of playdates.


Is it Different?


I was asked very recently, “Doesn’t oral sex suck with condoms and dental dams?”

To which I confidently replied, “A little.”

“What? Coop! You’re blowing the sex-positive cover here!” you say, assuring me that I should tow the company line that says it’s not different at all.

But it is different. Without question. Does a blowjob while wearing a condom suck a little bit? Did ya like that turn of phrase?

To wit, there’s a certain amount of awesome inherent in a blowjob. Does a condom reduce it? Yeah, a little. Doesn’t wearing a condom reduce the awesome during penetrative (see above) sex? Yeah, a little. Does a dental dam detract from the glory that is pussy licking? Yeah, for both parties, a little.

Does it keep you from getting diseases that may literally kill you? Yeah, a lot.


Because “Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea of the Throat” Is a Real Thing


And here’s my obligatory disclaimer that condoms and dental dams only prevent skin-to-skin infections like HPV and HSV for the areas that are covered by them. But HSV and the vast majority of HPV won’t even try to kill you. The rest of HPV is a sneaky little bastard. Get PAP smears regularly. The more you know!

Then I answered the above question (about oral sex sucking with condoms and dental dams) by laying down one of the massive Glyde dental dams (my personal favorite) atop her pussy and going to town. Having had my cock sucked while clad in a condom, I fully admit that it does cut down on the sensation slightly, but no more than it cuts down on the sensation during penetration.

And I know I don’t have to say the words “Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea of the Throat” to remind you that a slight reduction in sensation can be a huge boost in survivability.

But maybe I’m just a wacko.

And my friend who experienced my tongue behind a barrier? She said, “It’s distracting at first, and a little bizarre, but with the right combination of skill and enthusiasm you forget it’s there.”

Yes she did.


This article is an excerpt from my book, My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory.


Cooper S Beckett

Author of funny, filthy, and frightening fiction and non-fiction, Cooper co-founded the Life on the Swingset Podcast over a decade ago, and since then has endeavored to bring his perspective as a queer, polyamorous, swinger to the sexy world, reminding them that we are all more alike than different, and getting along can lead to awesome sexy times.
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63 Comments
  • Anonymous
JPMD
Apr 02, 2020
Yes, thank you
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TWOBOOS
Mar 08, 2020
No she did not
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HAPPYCOUPLE6867
Mar 03, 2020
Thanks for posting!
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SCARLETKNIGHT29
Feb 29, 2020
Safer is better.
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LAKERS18
Jan 05, 2020
Good article.
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NCOUPLE760
Jan 03, 2020
Have not had blowjob with condom. Def will when playing with new partners.
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JST4FN
Jan 03, 2020
Definitely an eye opener after reading this. Will have to think twice and take necessary precautions while playing.
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LUV2PLAY5
Jan 02, 2020
I have had a blow job with a condom. It is not the worst experience I have ever had. It was still pleasurable and still resulted in and orgasm.
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SIRHIGHHUNTER
Dec 30, 2019
Not using oral dam for lady. Barrier is not real for her
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FLORAJAI
Dec 26, 2019
We also use condoms for blowjobs when playing with others, but just realized never use anything for oral on the ladies. Good food for thought.
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NORCALGENT
Dec 26, 2019
Antibiotic resistant is a pair of scary words!
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EMPSRUDEBOY
Dec 21, 2019
better safe than sorry...
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ASHNDUSTY0422
Dec 18, 2019
I have worried about it, but did not realize that was a real disease. Thanks
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STUDDUCKLIONBUG
Dec 17, 2019
Good info, definitely should be given thought if partner history is unknown.
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ASHNJOSH
Dec 16, 2019
Thanks for the insight
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MAXCANDELA
Dec 13, 2019
I believe it is a real issue since in this lifestyle you get to practice and receive a lot of oral sex, condoms would be the best
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SHARE73
Dec 11, 2019
Good to know! Also good - antiseptic after sex or after anal sex.
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CURIOUS2CPH
Dec 10, 2019
Remember, kissing is also a risk..
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FREE2PLAYALLCALI
Dec 09, 2019
Up until about 6 months ago we played without condoms
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EZPEPINO
Dec 08, 2019
Have gotten blowjobs with condom, depending on skill it is not a problem, unsure as have never used a dental dam while going down on partner.
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JINRENO
Dec 05, 2019
Sure, the experience without protection feels better. However, I imagine that the experience of giving is less enjoyable as well. I am exactly as the article described: condom with PIV/PIA, but I have never performed cunnilingis. This has definitely made me re-think that practice.
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FMYWIFE
Dec 03, 2019
Of course it’s going to suck and not feel the same as without wearing a condom but it’s definitely worth not getting a disease.
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SEXYLATIN310
Dec 02, 2019
It does feel better without a piece of latex in the way.... but at the same time, feels safer because you know the chances of catching something are slimmer. For I, safe sex is the better route for me.
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KINKYCALICOUPLE
Nov 30, 2019
Great read. Using protection for oral sex is certainly a dilemma. Ourselves, we are VERY selective in play partners, and are okay with bareback oral sex, but use protection for vaginal or anal intercourse.
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TALLATXFUN
Nov 27, 2019
Damn fun police. But he’s right. Sigh.
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ALEXANON515
Nov 26, 2019
I’ve found that women and couples usually aren’t receptive when I request to use condoms for oral sex. Maybe they should read this article lol
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ALEX197
Nov 26, 2019
Condoms provide security for new partners who aren't fully aware of each other's backgrounds yet.
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NORCALCOUPLE916
Nov 26, 2019
We love Cooper from his podcast, and he always has great information. “Thanks Coop, for adding something else for us to have to consider...” lol
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HYRULEBRO
Nov 26, 2019
The parties I have gone to, many don't use condoms but I do know that they select their partners a stricter. But it is always better to be safe than sorry. Keep the party going.
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TREYJ5
Nov 25, 2019
Condoms are definitely a must the first time due to not knowing who or what the other party has. Diseases don’t pick and choose simple as that!
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CALISEXYCPL4U
Nov 25, 2019
Good info
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OCFILOCOUPLE
Nov 24, 2019
It’s just different feeling.. But it’s alway better to be safe than sorry
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NAUGHTYLILSECRET
Nov 24, 2019
So, as bad as it sounds to say it should be common sense. Articles like this are a gentle reminder of how important these precautions are. We do this on a case by case basis. And you can never be careful enough when playing with anyone, without these precautions. But good luck to you all, play safe!
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QUIETSTORM2
Nov 24, 2019
Well written article that really gets you to thinking. We have always had a strict condom usage policy with new play partners and singles but never for oral. We tried it but once and I didn’t like how it felt in my mouth even though the guy seemed to enjoy it a great deal. We are tested regularly and require the same of our play partners but we’ve began to stick with current long term couples and friends, as opposed to meeting new friends because of the trust factor involved. Thank you for such and informative article.
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COUPLEUP4FUN36
Nov 24, 2019
Very informative!
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S7LA
Nov 24, 2019
Thank you for sharing this. I think the last paragraph is extremely important. Might be weird at first worth it in the long run.
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JAYNLIS
Nov 22, 2019
Yes because there’s no cure for herpes
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ABSCND
Nov 22, 2019
A full course of Guardsil will prevent HPV. What prices have people over 20 or 25 seen for this treatment around the US?
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ESQXXX
Nov 22, 2019
I am going to have to look into a dental dam.
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KINKYCOUPLE702246
Nov 22, 2019
As much as no condoms feel amazing, we only really let trusted couples/ people we played with for some time go without!
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Anonymous
Nov 22, 2019
I have been thinking of this for a while and still not quit sure as how blowjob without condom could be safe. I know it’s common for many not to use condom. I have searched and yet not convinced this is free of risk.
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ZFORYOU
Nov 22, 2019
Such great points and such a hard thing to do girl on girl once things get rolling...ugh!!
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SHTUPHARD
Nov 22, 2019
Really informative information. I don't like to indulge with dam for oral, but perhaps i need to rethink my approach
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TOTALYFABULOUS
Nov 21, 2019
Thank you for your insight
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KIRKLANDCPL
Nov 21, 2019
Great Information. We normally only play with long term friends that will be honest about their status.
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FATTHICKDICK
Nov 21, 2019
Good information
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DAMIENB
Nov 21, 2019
I would prefer to skip bj than do it with condom lol Just choose your partners right and you will not get anything
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RNKCOUPLE
Nov 21, 2019
Great info. Thanks for posting! More of this stuff please.
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LATINBULL167
Nov 21, 2019
Very well written and informative article. It helps to be selective with your lifestyle partners and play safe.
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HRNYCPLL
Nov 21, 2019
This was an eye opener for us. As a couple who is relatively new to the lifestyle - we didn't have any idea that oral can lead to trouble - we always assumed it to be safe. Another reason why I love this site, educational, and busts all myths that have been continuing forever. Thank you SDC!
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MILO9
Nov 21, 2019
Have to agree it’s all about how much risk you’re willing to take. But damn does it feel way better without a condom!!!
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TYPICAL1978
Nov 21, 2019
Great article, thank you for this!
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HANK1222
Nov 20, 2019
I have practice this and honestly the sensation isnt the same but it's still a great experience. Having your partner use lip and through squeezing is just as great! As for the dental gap I have not tried but will imply this in my next experience. Safety is very important and if you want to keep having fun in this lifestyle assure you this is something we should apply
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PLEASERMILAN
Nov 20, 2019
Great article. I try to get tested every month and at the most every other month depending on how sexually active I am just to make sure I am clean. I would hope the same is reciprocated from those I choose to play with, too. With that said, it's still risky.
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CHALBRI
Nov 20, 2019
Wow! Thank you for this, I had no idea!!! Good to know
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DOMINIKPAYNE
Nov 20, 2019
With a condom, your partner needs to be a lot more aggressive in sucking, nibbling. If taste is a turn off, buy one of those flavored ones. They still taste a little plasticky but at least it's not the nasty rubber taste of the lubricant. For myself, being uncircumsized (read extremely sensitive in the head), it actually feels better as it's not as intense. But again, it's skills more than anything so it adds an extra level of skill to give a proper blowjob with a condom as one would have to adjust technique and be a little more aggressive/intense with hand, tongue and lip movements. For partners that don't tend to give sloppy blowjobs (i.e a little dry and not as much saliva) it also feels better since the condom is lubricated
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COUPLETOFUCKASAP
Nov 20, 2019
Yes as well as all the other comments on this article skin on skin is quite and experience however safety should always come first and remember to always get checked to ensure you are safe.
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CURIOUS4MORE282
Nov 20, 2019
We agree, it can be very dangerous world so best to know who you are doing what with, get tested regularly, and always use protection.
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SEXYCPLNWYO
Nov 20, 2019
Great article and food for thought. Plain and simple, nothing compares to the sensation of skin on skin, but safety for all involved should definitely outweigh pleasure.
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SCANOVA
Nov 20, 2019
I think communication is the key. If you’re with somebody your comfortable with just talk. If you’re with a stranger talk and use precautions. It’s always about comfort.
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VEGASKIDS
Nov 20, 2019
I do ask my partner if i just met him or if i don't know them very well to put a condom on for a blow job.I know it's a hassle and doesn't feel the same but its better to be safe then sorry.play safe
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HOLLYWOODMAX
Nov 20, 2019
It’s about how much risk you’re willing to take for fun, so knowing about the risk is good!
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Anonymous
Nov 12, 2019
Doubt she did
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