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The Hard Truth: In Defense of Men Sending Nudes
I have a collection of pictures featuring my cock, with me at this very moment.
Not Polaroids or anything, what is this, 1996?
I have a collection of the hated, reviled, cock shots. You know the ones. Big dick in frame (not an explanabrag), occasionally a hand, not much else. Seriously.
Why?
No One Ever Wants to See Dick Pics, Right?
Reading the multitude of comments on twitter and Facebook and in the blogosphere presents a unified front that no one would ever want to see these. There is never a reason anyone wants to see a picture of just a cock, right? Never. Not no one, not no how.
Aesthetically it’s like a picture of a bratwurst. Who wants a fucking picture of a fucking bratwurst? You want to eat a bratwurst, sure, especially if you’re on the shores of Lake Michigan with a beer during the beautiful city of Milwaukee’s epic Summerfest, but you don’t want a picture of it.
Except you do want a picture of it. Not a picture of a bratwurst, a picture of a cock. (Not necessarily my cock, though a lot of you want that too. [There’s that explanabrag! {And I don’t want you to feel shame if you happen to want a picture of a bratwurst.}]) How do I know this? Because I know a lot of women and a lot of men. My community is vast. I know that a lot of cock pics were sent via 3G and 4G. And I know many of them were solicited.
Is that the thing? The solicitation part? Have guys sent so unbelievably many unsolicited cock pictures to people that they’ve turned everyone (outwardly) against the very idea of cock pics? That’s shitty. Really, really shitty.
I’m serious. To anyone who’s ever received an unsolicited cock pic, I apologize. That sucks. Especially when it’s from someone so incredibly dense or socially awkward that they truly believe that’s the way to get anywhere with you.
But on behalf of all the penis-havers who would only send a picture of their member when it’s asked for, and then would jump at the opportunity to send one, I ask that you not make broad sweeping statements about #1, the attractiveness of penises, and #2 the fact that you’d never ever for any reason want to see that.
As a person who likes both penises and vulvas and who thinks that human genitals are amazingly diverse and beautiful things that I could look at for hours…aroused, flaccid, doing things...sorry, got distracted there.
I am taking a stand.
People DO Like Cock Shots. But Ask First. Please.
Let me be perfectly clear. No one should ever send a picture of their genitals without at least asking if the recipient wants to see them. I’d be shocked, shocked, to open a text on my phone and be staring directly into that.
But I firmly believe that all the venom spewed toward pictures of dicks has a large bearing on the lack of pictures of men on swing dating sites, as well as size concerns, and other body issues.
Yeah, I’m blaming you (the metaphorical you) for the very thing that is one of the biggest complaints about swinger dating site profiles. The lack of pictures of men. The overwhelming perceived hatred of pictures of our cocks makes us far less likely to put any picture of our bodies on there.
“Listen Cooper, you jerk,” you say, perhaps remembering how much I irritate you, “I’m not saying that penises aren’t attractive, I’m just saying I want more to a picture than a close-up.”
Fair enough. And I agree. Most pictures should be more than just that close-up of a cock that I have several of my own in my phone on the table next to the iPad where I’m typing this incredible run-on sentence that I don’t really want to end because I’m curious how far I can take it. Oh.
But let’s talk seriously here for a sec. It’s just you and I. Cock pics can be pretty cool sometimes, can’t they? And I can make a sweeping generalization (because that’s how I roll) about them due to the fact that I’d say 80% (that’s most to those of you playing the home game) of the people I’ve ever played with have requested, at some point, a picture of my cock. Some out of the blue, some before we’ve played, most after, some in a photo exchange, some by sending a picture of their own. Tit for tat. Quid pro quo.
Hence, they’re on my phone. ‘Cuz then if I’m in, say Barnes & Noble, I have something to send.
And while you should never come to definitive statistical conclusions based solely on personal observations...I choose to do so anyway.
So, let’s not hate on the cock pics. Let’s hate on the unsolicited cock pics. Let’s also not hate on the lack of creativity. You want to see something new and different and sexy and fun, make a request. Requests are sexy.
Meanwhile, I’ll continue to enjoy the bounty of genitals that the human race has to offer.
This article is an excerpt from my book, My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory.
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