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Your New Year Sexual Resolutions

Feeding our sexual energy is vital to our self-improvement and well-being, so having sexual resolutions is the best way to go!

It’s a brand new year and you know what that means! That means it’s time to recharge our sexual selves so that we can manifest all the things we want in the world. Feeding our sexual energy is vital to our self-improvement and well-being, so having sexual resolutions is the best way to go!

While I encourage you to think of your own resolutions, here are a few that I think should definitely be implemented in your life and the reasons why.

Have Frequent Sex

If you are partnered or you have a consistent lover or dating partner, make it a priority to have sex 3 to 4 times a week. We all know the benefits of sex, so it makes sense to make this a top priority in your life. There are way too many health benefits not to engage in sex. If you are single and haven’t had sex in a while, I would suggest masturbating 3 to 4 times a week. If you use a vibrator, I’d limit that to 1 to 2 times a week just in case you come across a sexual partner in the future.

Add Some Dirty Talk

Learn dirty talk or learn a new dirty talk phrase. There’s nothing more fun than surprising your partner in the bedroom with a new dirty talk phrase. Get their mind buzzing and ready for the next encounter. Mystery is sexy, so keeping those phrases in your back pocket will do you a world of good.


Try something new. Some of us love to be adventurous and try something new in (and out) of the bedroom; but some of us stay pretty conservative and don’t want to venture out too far for whatever reason. However, when we try something new, not only can it increase your confidence in specific endeavors, but it can help you get out of a rut if you’re in one. There are always times when we start doing the same old things in bed, but when we try something new, we venture on a new frontier that’s waiting for us to expand on our experiences.

Revisit the Past

Try something old. As we get older, our bodies change. Our minds change. Even our allergies change. Has there been a food in your past that you didn’t like, but after years of remembering that you don’t like it, you try it again…and lo and behold! You actually end up liking it! Sometimes it’s like that way during sex! Maybe there was a position that you didn’t like before or a toy that you didn’t care for; but try it again. See if it’s a different fit now. Maybe that yoga you’ve been doing helped you to be more flexible and do things that you thought weren’t possible sexually. Maybe that vibrator that was too strong actually feels amazing. The possibilities are endless when we try to find “new” sexual things from our past.

Sexually Educate Yourself

Take a sexuality class or workshop. Not to toot my own horn, but taking a sexual class or workshop changes your life. You will find out so much about yourself and this alone helps to foster your creativity with your sexual self. There’s plenty of access to this information out and about, so it’s up to you to try to find what you want to learn about. At the Sex Down South Conference, I learned so much about fire play, sexuality in mixed-class relationships, and strap-on play.  There are so many great presenters in the world, so it only benefits you to see what they have to say and implement the tools they give you into your life. It’s an investment in your future, so you might as well be a student of your own sexual self.

I hope these resolutions set you in the right direction for the New Year. I look forward to hearing your stories about how you used these resolutions in your life! Cheers to your sexual success!

Marla Stewart

Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a professional sex, intimacy and relationship coach and sex educator. Not only is she a lecturer at Clayton State University, she is also the co-founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective. Gaining her reputation for being "The Sex Architect", she created Velvet Lips to empower people of all ages to embrace, educate and enjoy their sexuality and their sexual lives. She has studied human sexuality for more than 16 years at San Francisco State University and Georgia State University, respectively, and has expert knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. She has published academic articles and continues to do sexuality research. She has conducted workshops at conferences, not-for-profit and private organizations, as well as universities in the Atlanta area. She has been featured on many radio shows, documentaries, books, magazines and has been invited to speak at Universities around the country. She also sits on the board for the Atlanta Harm Reduction Coalition and SPARK Reproductive Justice Now!
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