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What is Hotwifing REALLY Like?

Many people question why a couple would choose to play apart, and sometimes even assume that they do so because they just want to have sex with someone besides each other. In truth, the exact opposite is true.

Brian and I have so thoroughly enjoyed our hotwifing adventures (for the most part). It has been a bonding opportunity for us — something that has continued to bring us closer together as a couple. One of the only downsides of participating in hotwifing, however, is that many others — including others in the lifestyle — don’t seem to get it! They question why we would choose to play apart, and sometimes even assume that we do so because we just want to have sex with someone besides each other. In truth, the exact opposite is true: We participate in the hotwifing dynamic because it unites us on a level most people will never understand. In this post, we hope to shed some light on what it means to be a hotwife while debunking some of the most common myths.

My First Hotwife Experience

The first time I played away from Brian is still to this day one of the most poignant moments I have personally experienced in the lifestyle. I went to my play partner’s house, we took turns flogging and teasing each other, before having mind-blowing sex. As much as I was enjoying the physicality of that interaction, Brian was on my mind the entire time. I was taking mental notes to share with him when I returned home. I was having my play partner take naughty pictures to exhibit to Brian. I was wondering what he would be thinking if he was there, watching from the bench in the room we were playing in. It didn’t distract me from my play; Rather, it fueled it. I imagined myself putting on a show for Brian, which enhanced my desire and enthusiasm for my partner.

All of it felt very positive, as if our decision to participate in a “hall pass” situation was spot on. That was until I left my play partner’s house and got into my car. I remember vividly sitting outside his house, my phone in my hand with Brian’s contact info pulled up, but not quite having the courage to call Brian yet. I was supposed to let him know when I was on my way home, but for a reason I didn’t understand at the time, I wasn’t ready to hear his voice. Now, I understand why: I felt guilty. I felt as if I had done something wrong, something that would negatively impact my relationship. I finally gathered the gumption to call Brian, and he was cool as a cucumber, no hint in his voice of remorse. That settled me slightly, but I still spent the 20 minutes driving home feeling as I was some sort of a slut (in a bad way).

After what felt like the longest 20 minutes of my life, I arrived home, went into the house, and up the stairs to our bedroom. I opened the door to find Brian, stroking his cock on the bed. He said to me, “Get naked, I need you to come over here and tell me everything.” As soon as I saw the look in his eyes, the perfect mixture of love and passion, all of my concerns were washed away. Sexual hunger replaced my shame. I had a revelation, as I removed my clothes and moved toward my soulmate: This wasn’t about my play partner, or about having sex with anyone else for that matter; it was about us. It was about the heightened pleasure, about having new experiences together that fueled both our sex and our connection to one another. It was one of the most freeing and eye-opening nights of my life. In that moment, I stopped caring as much what others had told me for so long I should want out of my relationship, and instead shifted that energy toward building a mutually-beneficial sexual dynamic with my man.

The Adventure Continues...

Since then, I have played with several other single guys away from Brian, all with his enthusiast consent. I’ve played several states away, I’ve been topped by a dominant man, and so much more. While those experiences have been incredibly sexy and physically satiating, my hotwife adventure is never complete until I have been reclaimed by Brian, until he has taken back control of my body and shown me that I am his. Every new interaction brings a fresh, fun opportunity to share with my man, tell him of my slutty adventures, and know that in return, I will receive nothing but unconditional love and trust. And this is why I truly love being my man’s hotwife!

Front Porch Swingers

We are Brian and Brenna, hosts of a weekly swinger and hotwife podcast called Front Porch Swingers! Through our podcast, we have been offered opportunities to connect with lifestylers from around the world, understanding non-monogamy and all its facets on a deeper level. Now, we're taking the show on the road! We're currently traveling throughout Florida, both to explore deeper our non-monogamous lives, as well as to enjoy the beautiful beaches Florida has to offer. If you see we will be in your town and are interested in meeting, don't hesitate to reach out! On a more personal note, we are open to many different variations of swinging, including same room, separate room, separate dates (Brenna loves a good threesome), and more! Very versatile and willing to go with the flow based on the interests of others. Aside from the podcast, we are sexually adventurous people who love to connect with others via sex. We won't get naked unless there is chemistry, so the random hookups usually aren't our thing. We prefer separate play, either with couples in separate rooms or with singles. That being said, that damn elusive 4-way connection is certainly not off the table for us. We love to travel, hike, go to live music shows, go to the beach, cook, and camp, and we'd love to connect with people who share some of those interests.
  • Anonymous
Jun 19, 2021
I hope I will find a woman like you, who understands exactly what you explained. One day. I still have some hope.
Mar 23, 2020
That’s sooooo much like my own experience with my man I didn’t understand at first but enjoy all the fun even more when I get back to him!!!!! Nice to know there are others like us!!!!