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Rules, Boundaries, and Agreements — What’s the Difference?

Many well-intentioned people get confused about the difference between Rules, Boundaries, and Agreements, causing unwanted conflict. Let’s clear that fog away together!

We get to design our own relationships when we practice consensual non-monogamy, but knowing and communicating personal boundaries is an essential step in building agreements that are healthy for everyone involved.

In this video, Kitty Chambliss gives us a glimpse into her Living Without Boundaries courses by sharing some helpful distinctions between these key terms. By understanding our needs and those of our partner(s), we can create more fulfilling agreements together. Defining the structures that comprise healthy relationships will help mitigate conflict, making them integral to any dynamic — regardless of how long or how many people are involved.

Whether you're just beginning to build a new relationship or you've been together for years, understanding the differences between rules, boundaries, and agreements is essential. Kitty is here to help in the video above.


Kitty Chambliss, PCC, CPC

Kitty Chambliss is a #1 Amazon best selling author, relationship coach, keynote speaker, polyamorous and sex-positive advocate, and foundd Loving Without Boundaries (LWB) in 2012. She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) Division 44 Consensual Non-monogamy Task Force, a staff writer for ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) Magazine, as well as an Outreach Representative for the Relationship Equality Foundation (REF). Kitty has been a contributing writer for such publications as Multiamory, Swingtowns, and PostModern Woman, with her advocacy work also featured in the books “Stories From the Polycule” and “It’s Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships.” She has given workshops around the country at conferences such as Beyond The Love, Atlanta Poly Weekend, Southwest Love Fest, the National Sex Educators Conference, the International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-monogamy, and Sex Week at University of North Florida, and is a sought after special guest on broadcast shows and podcasts, such as CNN and PolyWeekly. Kitty is a professional certified relationship coach (PCC, CPC, and ELI-MP) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Lastly Kitty is thrilled to have brought her first book: “Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship” out in the world. Kitty has made it her life’s mission to make thriving relationships – even unconventional ones – attainable to everyone.
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