By Taara Rose for ASN Lifestyle Magazine
Women Wanna Know: Answering Questions from Women Surrounding Consensual Non-Monogamy
In light of what is going on across the globe related to COVID-19, I wanted to write an article for those in the Lifestyle who have made the choice to stay in and flatten the curve. It's not an easy choice for many in our community as it's largely made up of people who enjoy and thrive on going out, social interaction, and being up close and personal with each other. It can be pretty stressful for everyone right now. Not to mention we are facing health worries of loved ones, financial worries, and travel implications. This is a strange time, my friends.
Personally, James and I have been impacted. As I write this, I am thinking about where I was supposed to be at this moment — waving goodbye to the snow falling outside as I fly south to Hedonism for Young Swingers Week. Many do not know, but I’ve had a respiratory disease my entire life. It often compromises my health, and because of this, we are practicing social distancing and basically staying home for the time being. I know I am not alone in this!
So, with 2020 pretty much being cancelled, what can couples and singles do instead? If you can't go out to the sexy, how do you bring the sexy to you? Here are some racy suggestions for all my kinky peeps out there:
Most Lifestylers are exhibitionists, and camming is a great way to feed this fix! Stick to well-known/reputable companies and do a bit of research. I suggest opening up a separate email for it, too. Some camming companies also give options to "block" certain areas from seeing you, which is awesome if you don't want particular people to find you.
Do a Sexy Photoshoot
Photos are a big part of the Lifestyle — from profile pictures to sharing them in sexy chat groups or with friends — so why not take this time to get dolled up and take some pictures! LS Tip: take a variety of photos from PG/clothed to nakie! That way you have different pics to use for different things!
Sexify Your Bedroom
This is a great time to give your bedroom a sexified makeover! I know ours was looking like a hurricane went through it because of prepping for Young Swingers Week. It's not the best environment to encourage sexiness or calmness, so I am making that change. I have some fairy lights I want to put up and plan on de-cluttering and heading to Pinterest for ideas to set the mood!
Read Some Sexy Erotica
All it takes is a simple search, and you can uncover a fantasy that you can take turns reading together. I had a HUGE thing for literotica.com a few years back, and know I will be hitting the site soon for some sexy reading materials to distract me from the news and social media...
Declutter Your Sexy Toy Chest
Toss the things that are old and overused, clean and reorganize, take stock of what you got! Every time we do this (bi-monthly, usually) we get inspired to try new things — maybe you will, too? And hey — if you have a small toy collection, hop online and start creating a wish list! You can use it for gift buying on birthdays or anniversaries!
What to Do if You Aren't Feeling Sexy
What happens on the flip side, though? What happens if you aren't, you know, feeling sexy during these times??? First, it's important to remember that it is normal and OK. There are a lot of extra stresses right now, and when you experience stress and trauma, your sexuality goes out the window fast.
My body decided to use the stress I was experiencing and give me thrush on day five of our social distancing (aka yeast infection), so I am REALLY not feeling sexy. Of course, we had all the sexy plans I mentioned above in the works and boom! Change of plans! (is it me or is that a theme right now?...)
So, what can we do if we aren't feeling sexy and practicing social distancing? Here are some things I've been doing since my vagina turned on me — hopefully, they can help you guys, too!
Video Calls with Groups and Friends
Facetime/video calls have been a lifesaver for me! I am pretty used to doing this for my work already, but just to see a familiar face is really nice! We did a Ladies of the Lifestyle admin Facetime meeting the other night, and I know all our souls were thankful for our chat together.
Explore a New Routine
Right now, we have the opportunity to change things up. Your early morning get ready ritual and commute can be replaced with making tea, journaling, and yoga. Right now, we are being called to change everything we know about ourselves and our routine... what is your soul craving during this?
Host a Watch Party
Host a Netflix Watch Party with some friends! We hosted a Netflix Watch Party for our Facebook group and really want to plan more! It's helping my mental health by having something exciting to look forward to with people from the community. It was really fun picking out a movie and you can even chat with each other in a chat group while the movie is playing!
These are extraordinary times, people, and we have to do what we can to keep a clear head and our mental health safe, too. I believe that sex and sexuality are healers, but sometimes even that can be difficult for some in times like this. Remember, I am always here if you need ANYTHING. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM me on my social media below. I am with you on this, and I know this can create a sense of fear in the unknown, but I ask for you to have patience and trust in your heart.
Twitter: @sxuninterrupted | Instagram: @taarajames
This article originally appeared in the April 2020 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.