M is for Music

I wanted to demonstrate how music can affect the way we make love.

I remember at the Erotica Show in New Zealand where I was presenting, I wanted to demonstrate how music can affect the way we make love. I went around the audience and asked people what music they liked to make love to. I got responses from various attendees including an older gent. The young one liked AC/DC, the sexy Maori guy liked Silk “Let me Lick you up and Down” and the older guy said he liked the Righteous Brothers.

So, I got the DJ to pull out the three songs and proceeded to demonstrate with the volunteers how each type of music changed the way you can make love. The AC/DC was full on, power, porn sex. The slower Silk song inspired sexy, sensuous, slower, more erotic moves and the Righteous Brothers encouraged a slow, close, sexy dance…

Believe it or not, the old guy got a raging woody on, just dancing close and slow. He sat down in the audience after we finished our dance, next to some young girls who couldn’t stop giggling as it was very evident that he was aroused!


Music is Powerful


Choose your music wisely. Understand how different types of music can change our mood, inspire us to move differently, contain different messages…

I love having music to make love to and change it up depending on my mood. Sometimes I like the hard-core, porn-style, rock 'n' roll music for really active sex. At other times, I like sexy Marvin Gay type R&B, soul music to slow things down and really feel the moment. Other times, I like romantic heartfelt songs with mushy words of love to bring me into my heart so I can connect on a deeper level with my loved one. At other times I just like quiet classical music or new age music to bliss out to and surf the universe after orgasming.

Play around with how different music can affect your lovemaking.

Create some playlists of different music to make love to.


Musical Workshop


One of my workshops I do on lifestyle cruises at resorts and at conferences is “Music to Make Love To” where I guide people through their sexual energy centers with different music that inspires different sexual connections. I usually start with grounding African drum style music to get us connected to our bodies, and it can be used to earth the sexual energy. Then focus on bringing the energy up to the sexual reproductive center by playing salsa, reggae, old school rock 'n' roll music to get the hips moving. Followed by raising the energy up with full on dance music to really get the fire going in the body, heart and soul. Then shifting the energy to the heart with slower more romantic music. Followed by some music to get the throat chakra/energy center activated -- usually something everyone can sing along to.

Culminating with more quiet yet powerful music to help tune in to the third eye and crown chakras/energy centers, resulting in a blissful sexually satisfied orgasmic state of being, and merging with all there is. All with a guided musical sexual journey.




Have fun playing with music. As they say, “Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” There’s a reason why people go out dancing to find someone to take home to bed! If you click on the dance floor then you are more than likely to click in bed! Next is N for Naughtiness…

Dr. Shelley

Originally from New Zealand, now based in Las Vegas, Dr Shelley has a PhD specializing in human sexuality and in particular open relationships and polyamory. She is the author of Soul Sex, and the Anti-Aging & Health Benefits of Sex. Dr Shelley teaches small group intensives, workshops and has been working with couples and individuals for 20 years focusing on making the world more sexually joyful. She is excited to share her latest writings Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex.
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