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Do You Pay Your Sex Bill?

You’re probably thinking: “What the hell are you talking about, woman?”

You’re probably thinking: “What the hell are you talking about, woman?”

I’m talking about investing in your sex life. What are you doing today to invest in your sex life?


Sex Toys Aren't Enough


Some folks go to the sex shop to buy new sex toys that they could implement in their relationship, but after you get the new toy, you play with it and then it sits in the drawer waiting to be seen again. Some kinky folks usually have the opportunity to play with it more than non-kinky folks, but the fact of the matter is, toys can eventually lose their luster. So, then what do you do?


Bills, Bills, Bills


We all have bills to pay. We have our rent or mortgage. We have our cell phone bill. We have the electricity, the gas, and the water. We have the car note, the pet needs, groceries. We have the cable bill, streaming video bills, and gym memberships. We have to take care of the people in our homes, and most of all we have our own self-care.

Self-care is not only about getting a massage or treating yourself to a fancy dinner and a movie. Self-care is also about investing in your sex life. The fact of the matter is, if you enhance your sex life, your life in general will get better.


Invest in Sex


So, why do we not invest in our sex lives? Why do we continue to be bored with our sex lives and put up with not having orgasms? Why do we turn to porn to short-circuit our brains to get one (or more) off?

We have to pay our sex bill regularly. Whether it’s buying a new toy, watching an education video or hiring a sex coach to learn some new tricks and get educated about various aspects of sex, you need to regularly pay your sex bill.




The first step is understanding what makes you satisfied sexually. The second step is amping up your sexual desires with toys, videos or tricks. The third step is to continually invest in yourself and learn new things about yourself. The more you know about yourself, the better sex life you will have and the better life you will have! It’s an amazing cyclical force that you definitely want to find yourself in. Cheers to your sexual success!

Marla Stewart

Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a professional sex, intimacy and relationship coach and sex educator. Not only is she a lecturer at Clayton State University, she is also the co-founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective. Gaining her reputation for being "The Sex Architect", she created Velvet Lips to empower people of all ages to embrace, educate and enjoy their sexuality and their sexual lives. She has studied human sexuality for more than 16 years at San Francisco State University and Georgia State University, respectively, and has expert knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. She has published academic articles and continues to do sexuality research. She has conducted workshops at conferences, not-for-profit and private organizations, as well as universities in the Atlanta area. She has been featured on many radio shows, documentaries, books, magazines and has been invited to speak at Universities around the country. She also sits on the board for the Atlanta Harm Reduction Coalition and SPARK Reproductive Justice Now!
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