Love Yourself
Celebrate yourself. There is so much about you to love.

A loved woman is made powerful by her own convictions as held by the women who inspire her. I’ve been surrounded by powerful women my entire life. Women in the entirety of my family at one point were outnumbering men at a solid rate of 4:1. A lot of my academic teachers were women, and most of my friends were women, too. Did that mean that I was able to see myself as a powerful woman because of their influence? At times, but the cumulative voices of our unhealthy media exposure seemed to drain them out.

I feel like sometimes, it can be hard to remember to love yourself. There’s so much pressure to always be the best, show up on point and be nervous about revealing our insecurities.

You have to have the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfectly groomed pussy, and be funny. Both women and men experience a lot of pressure from society, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We can choose differently. We can choose to remove the pressure and love ourselves first, wholly.

Goddess, walk as a woman first, before anything else. You are a phenomenal woman. Yes, you are a sister, a mother, an aunt, and maybe even a grandmother, but before you are anything else in this world, you are a woman, whether you were born that way or came into realizing her. Claiming that title can be challenging or even foreign to you. That’s okay. Take a breath. If you’re struggling to recognize your power as a woman, why don’t we start with identifying your power as the person you are fully first. How we see and celebrate the wholeness of who we are is where we flow into our love for ourselves. Celebrate yourself and love yourself for all that you are. When we are mindful about how we talk to ourselves through practices such as positive self-talk, we are saying, yes, I am a source of power that deserves to be loved.


Exercise: 10 Things I Love About Me


Celebrate yourself. There is so much about you to love. 

In your journal or on a piece of paper, list out ten things you absolutely love about yourself; if you come up with more, just keep on celebrating your delicious Goddess-self.

For example, mine are:

  1. I love the way I giggle like Betty Rubble when I’m being coy
  2. I love that my ass looks like a heart when I stick it out while wearing Brazilian cut panties 
  3. I love my conviction and advocate heart 
  4. I love that I’m a great cook and master in my kitchen 
  5. I love that I have no hesitation to talk to new people 
  6. I love that I can speak more than one language 
  7. I love my cabbage patch toes 
  8. I love that I am loyal AF 
  9. I love that I can play the piano and read sheet music 
  10. I love that my honest and unapologetic self has led me to break generational patterns of trauma

Now it’s your turn.


  1. I love...

  2. I love...

  3. I love...

  4. I love...

  5. I love...

  6. I love...

  7. I love...

  8. I love...

  9. I love...

  10. I love...

This article is an excerpt from the publication Love: The Women’s Guide to Not F*cking Settling by Carlen Costa and is republished here on SDC.com with permission and distribution by the author.


Carlen Costa

"Carlen Costa, DHS, MPH, RSSW, ACS, is a clinical sexologist, OCSWSSW-registered psychotherapist, and cannabis educator based out of London, Ontario. She empowers women in the sacred science perspective through her integrated transformational services that have enriched thousands to shift their mindsets and love their living process, so hard. Carlen is also the founder of the Everyday Goddess lifestyle brand, which empowers women to embody an unapologetically passionate lifestyle in the areas of intimacy, sexuality, sensuality, self-worth, body image, and relationships. Carlen encourages us to become sassy, sexy, and switched on through a holistic approach in private practice, speaking nationwide about women’s health, cannabis, and relationships in her women-focused Goddess Glow Up! program and in her growing women’s only Facebook group, the Everyday Goddess Gang. #YESGoddess Carlen is also the founder of the Goddess Foundation, which seeks to fund initiatives by women, for women, across Canada."
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