The Power of Pet Names
Recently, I started thinking about all the nicknames I’ve been given over time.

I never really thought about this before, but recently, I started thinking about all the nicknames I’ve been given over time. From Marls to Marley to Marly-Marl to Mar, all these names are always unique to the individuals who have given them to me. Considering that my name only has five letters, I thought it was always fascinating that people could be so creative when it comes to my name!

The Power of a Pet Name

With my past serious lovers, all of them had pet names for me that were always unique, as well. I wish I could remember them all, but I know those terms of endearment always made me feel great. Pet names have always made me feel desired, loved and adored, which are qualities that I surely appreciate. Pet names are useful and I love the fact that they can be as unique as the person you’re adoring at the time. Here are some useful tips on manifesting a great pet name for a lover.

Think about the features of your lover.

What is particularly different about your lover? Is it the color of their skin? Is it the curves of their body? Is it their muscular physique? Think about a particular feature that they have (that you really enjoy) and hone in on it. And you don’t only have to think about one, think about a few, and then later on, you can try them on and see which one you like the best.

Think about the descriptive qualities of your lover.

Are they sweet? Are they sexy? What are some adjectives that you could use to describe them? Think about everything from colors to textures to sizes to landscapes. There’s such a vast array of adjectives that you could really find the perfect one to go with the perfect body part… Which brings us to the next bit of advice.

Combine your adjective and your body part to form the ultimate pet name.

Now, it doesn’t have to be totally an adjective and totally a body part. For instance, one pet name a lover gave me was “sugar butt” and I thought it was fantastic. Do I have a sweet butt? Maybe… But the pet name sure eludes to it, right? One pet name I gave to my last lover was “chocolate drop” because he had beautiful dark chocolate skin and I loved kissing his lips -- just like a Hershey’s kiss. I think using this combination of an adjective and a body part is useful, but it’s best to be creative and figure out what you adore about your lover.

Did you come up with a good one?

Even though creating a pet name can be fun, it’s even more fun to hear the new pet name for your lover. If your pet name suits your lover right, then you will know because of their response. If they smile and respond in a loving way, then you know you got a good one.

If you’ve come up with more than one, then it’s good to have the others in your arsenal in case you need you need to pull them out. For instance, if you want their delicious lips at a particular point in time, then you give them that pet name when you want to kiss them or have them kiss you. For example, even though it was similar, when a lover told me that she wanted my “sugar lips”, I knew exactly what she meant – and it was the same when she called me “sugar butt”…

Regardless, I think pet names are fun and you can definitely use them to your advantage to influence a lover to being in your favor. I would love to hear the pet names that you have given lovers, so give ‘em to me! Cheers to your sexual success!

Marla Stewart

Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a professional sex, intimacy and relationship coach and sex educator. Not only is she a lecturer at Clayton State University, she is also the co-founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective. Gaining her reputation for being "The Sex Architect", she created Velvet Lips to empower people of all ages to embrace, educate and enjoy their sexuality and their sexual lives. She has studied human sexuality for more than 16 years at San Francisco State University and Georgia State University, respectively, and has expert knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. She has published academic articles and continues to do sexuality research. She has conducted workshops at conferences, not-for-profit and private organizations, as well as universities in the Atlanta area. She has been featured on many radio shows, documentaries, books, magazines and has been invited to speak at Universities around the country. She also sits on the board for the Atlanta Harm Reduction Coalition and SPARK Reproductive Justice Now!
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