Michael Bell's Lifestyle Language for ASN

This is for you to make sure you are not just walking the walk — you’re talking the talk.

There are many terms, words, and acronyms you will come across as you dip your toes into the Swinging pool or jump in headfirst. We have met many experienced Swingers still unsure about what means what and when to use an acronym.

This is for you to make sure you are not just walking the walk — you’re talking the talk. What you see here is not an all-encompassing list; it’s a “starter kit” and meant to provide a foundation.


Lifestyle Lexicon


  • AC/DC: Bisexual
  • Anal: Anal Intercourse
  • B&D: Bondage and Discipline
  • BBC: Big Black Cock
  • BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
  • Bi: Bisexual
  • Blow Job (BJ): Oral sex on a male
  • Bondage: Involving ropes or other materials to tie someone up. This is seen often in a Dominant/submissive relationship or with fantasy fulfillment
  • Boundaries: Rules you and your partner have set up beforehand to make sure the Swinging experience is always mutually enjoyable
  • Can Travel: Someone who can travel
  • Cheating: Bet you can guess what this means…just know it’s always unacceptable
  • Clean: Disease and drug-free; also known as DDF
  • Couple: Male and female couple
  • Cunnilingus: Oral sex on a female
  • Dildo: Penis shaped toy made from silicone, rubber, glass, or other materials. Also considered a sex toy
  • Discipline: Fetish where one partner dominates the other
  • Discretion: People who, for many reasons, don’t share their Lifestyle involvement with others; they remain private about their play
  • Dominant: Person in control of a submissive, also seen as Dom on some profiles
  • Endowed: Generous proportion, usually referring to a penis. At times can refer to breasts
  • Exhibitionist: Those who like to be watched, people who receive pleasure out of having sex in front of others
  • Fetish: A form of sexual desire in which gratification depends on an object or item of clothing or part of the body; excessive devotion to some activity
  • Gang Bangs: Multiple men having sex, typically, with one woman
  • Gay: Homosexual, usually referring to men sexually attracted to men
  • Group Sex: Sex between four or more people
  • Greek: Into anal activity
  • Hall Pass: When one or both members of the couple allow the other to play without them present; i.e., if one goes on vacation or for a night out with friends, they may receive a hall pass
  • Hand Job: Masturbation of a male
  • Hard Swap: Where sexual activity is presumed however rules and boundaries are still respected
  • Hedonist: A person whose purpose is to experience pleasure
  • Heterosexual: When you are attracted to members of the opposite sex
  • Homosexual: When you are attracted to members of the same sex
  • Horny: Sexual desire
  • Host: The person whose home is being used to have a party or the person organizing the event
  • Hung: Generally used to describe a man with a large penis
  • Lesbian: Refers to women sexually attracted to women
  • Lifestyle: A newer term used to describe Swingers. This term does not have the same “negative” perception Swingers does in main society
  • LivingSexy™: An attitude not an action. A term you can use when you do not desire one event or a series of events to label who you are
  • Masochist/Masochism: Someone who obtains sexual pleasure from receiving punishment (physical or psychological), seen as S&M in some profiles
  • Ménage a Trios: Three people having sex…it’s a French term, also called a threesome
  • Meet and Greet: In the Lifestyle, this is a place for like-minded couples (at times singles too) to meet
  • Newbies: People/Couples who are new to the Swinger Lifestyle
  • NSA: No strings attached
  • Off-Premise: Event is being held at a location where you cannot have any sexual activity
  • On-Premise: Event is being held at a location where you can have sexual activity
  • Orgy: Group sex
  • Passive: Tends to refer to someone who is submissive, not Dominant
  • Restraint: Any type of mild bondage
  • Roman: Into orgies and group sex
  • Rubber: Condoms…great idea to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases as well as unwanted pregnancies
  • Sadist/Sadism: Someone who obtains sexual pleasure from inflicting pain (physical or psychological) on others, seen as S&M in some profiles
  • Safe Sex: Those who insist on using protection during sexual intercourse/penetration
  • Safe Word: A word(s) couples use to excuse themselves from uncomfortable situations or to let their partner know they need to talk privately
  • Same Room: When a couple plays; however, only in the same room as each other
  • Silver Swinger: Refers to a specific group of Swingers typically over the age of 55. Silver comes from the color of hair most have as they get older, grey/silver
  • Soft Swap: Engaging in sexual activity that does not include penetration from the penis into the vagina, including a third person, making you no longer physically monogamous
  • STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease(s)
  • STI: Sexually Transmitted Infection(s)
  • Straight: Heterosexual
  • Swapping: Couples who exchange their partners for some type of sexual activity
  • Swinger(s): An individual or couple who believes in an open relationship (mentally and/or physically)
  • Submissive: Tends to refer to someone who is passive
  • Threesome: Also known as a Ménage a Trios, three people having sexual activity together
  • Toys: Sexual aids such as but not limited to; floggers, vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, whips, and many more.
  • Unicock: A single man in the Lifestyle (also known as a Bull). There are many more single men than single women in the Lifestyle. The term was created and became popular thanks to Holli Pockets
  • Unicorn: A single woman in the Lifestyle. Named this because they used to be rare. They’re not as rare these days; however, they’re always great to find and play with
  • Vanilla: A generic term for individuals and/or couples who are not Swingers living in the Lifestyle
  • Voluptuous: A curvy, well-proportioned woman
  • Voyeur: Those who enjoy watching others, deriving sexual pleasure watching others
  • VWE: Very Well Endowed
  • Will Travel: People who can travel to an event

By Michael Bell


This article originally appeared in the August 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.


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1 Comments
  • Anonymous
FRISCOFUN
Nov 15, 2019
This is a great article for terms that others may find very confusing at times!
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