What Makes You a Popular Swinger Set?
Maddy V     
Swingers NonMonogamy Open Lifestyle SDC
Swingers NonMonogamy Open Lifestyle SDC
With respect, courtesy, and empathy, you are the ideal guests.

A good profile, some nice pictures... With these, you make a first impression on others. But how do you keep relationships nice, even if you decide that you no longer want to have sex with another couple? The lifestyle is known for understanding, being considerate, and just being polite to others. Treat another person the way you want to be treated yourself, which is actually the rule of thumb for any social interaction.


Useful Tips


Show respect.
Just like in 'daily' life, we also have feelings of uncertainty, fear, and insecurity when we swing. Perhaps even more so because you literally expose yourself to others. Be respectful, understanding, and sensitive and acknowledge the feelings of the other. Which you probably have yourself.

Be nice.
Even if you have no interest whatsoever in having sex with someone, that does not mean that you do not have to be unfriendly. Maybe you share a hobby or have the same profession, or they introduce you to someone with whom you definitely want sex.

Respect the feelings of the other. Especially when a couple has just taken the first steps on the swingers pad, as they can feel very insecure. Respect that feeling, and see what you can do to help them feel better and more secure. If someone really doesn't like something, then that's OK. Don't force anything. Are you interested in another (couple) and is that not mutual? Accept that and do not ask 'why.' So many people, so many wishes. It follows that you do not have to do anything that you do not want to do either. A friendly 'no thank you' is enough.

Kindly say no and accept a no without questions.
That seems easier than it is because, for many people, it is quite difficult to simply say 'no thanks.' They want to exhaust themselves in excuses to not hurt the feelings of the other. That is why it is very important that 'no thanks' is presented in a nice way, without the need for apology or being asked. Just giving a reason why you don't want something, or hearing what the reason is, can be more hurtful than just the friendly 'no.'

Always respond to invitations.
If you get an RSVP, it means 'respond to this invitation,' even if you are NOT planning to go. Nothing is so annoying for a host and hostess to stock up on food and supplies for twenty people, and then only a handful of guests show up. Really, just saying 'unfortunately we won't come' saves a lot of frustration.

Prepare yourself, also physically.
Make sure you have supplies for away from home. In your luggage are at least toiletries (toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant), CONDOMS, etc. If it is the intention that you stay overnight, ask the host / hostess if you have to bring anything for that.

Take something with you.
If you are invited somewhere, bring something yourself. It doesn't always have to be a bottle of wine. Something to eat or a personal gift is always appreciated.

Thank them afterward.
Regardless of whether you had a great night or if it was just 'cozy,' thank the host or hostess for making their house available. You would also like that yourself. And that brings us back to what we started with: treat the other person the way you want to be treated. Happy swinging!


Maddy V

Dutch journalist and editor. Specialized in writing articles about sex, health and relationships.
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