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Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide

SDC Openlove 101 Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide Swingers Open NonMonogamy Nightlife
SDC Openlove 101 Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide Swingers Open NonMonogamy Nightlife
If you're curious about clubbing in the world of non-monogamy, consider this series of tips and tricks your new best friend.

Openlove 101 SDC Newbie Lifestyle Guide ManualAre you in an open relationship?

Consider yourself poly?

New to the swinger lifestyle scene?

First time to a swingers lifestyle club?

Well, then this guide is for you!


Who We Are


We are John & Jackie Melfi, and we are the owners of colette clubs and Openlove101.com. We have over 20 years of combined experience in open relationships, have coached thousands of couples, and continue to operate our lifestyle clubs every week.

Based on what we’ve seen (and experienced), we’ve put together this guide so you can know what to expect when starting out in the lifestyle and going to a club for the first time, which can be a little unnerving.

I (Jackie) remember my first time going to a “sex” club. Just trying to pick out my outfit for the night triggered so much fear and doubt. Could I really pull off wearing something like this? What did this dress say about me? Was I trying too hard? Who am I kidding in these platform heels and this short dress? You’re far too refined and respectable to allow yourself such silly frivolity. Thanks, ego! I really appreciate those self-defeating comments. Now I feel dumb. Now I don’t want to go. Now I’m scared of what people will think of me. 

Cue the mini breakdown.

Thank goodness I had John, such a loving, understanding, and patient partner. John stopped what he was doing and reassured me that everything was going to be okay, I didn’t look ridiculous… I looked beautiful, and nothing was going to happen that I couldn’t handle. 

Looking back on that experience, I wish I’d had some formal guide or checklist I could have followed to help prepare me for the evening. And thus, what you’re reading now is what I wish I had back then! So, let’s get started!


In This Guide


There are four parts to our Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide here on SDC. You can find all the links below:

1. What a Lifestyle Club Is — & Isn't

2. The Pre-Club Talk & Prep

3. Lifestyle Club Etiquette

4. You're at the Club. Now What?

By taking these steps in this guide, you can have an incredible first time (or anytime) experience at a lifestyle club that will keep you cumming back for more! (I couldn’t resist!)

Happy swinging!

Love,

Openlove 101 SDC Newbie Lifestyle Club Guide


See our links in the bio below for more about us and Openlove 101.


Openlove 101

John and Jackie Melfi are swingers in an open relationship. Together they are the driving force behind coletteclubs.com, a swingers' club brand with locations in Dallas, New Orleans, Houston, and Austin. John has been in the swinger club industry for 20 years, and when he and Jackie met, they expanded the business in order to reach and educate more couples and singles curious about the lifestyle. Their first venture together was the award winning lifestyle blog, Openlove101.com. Today this swinging powerhouse coach couples on the lifestyle, provide video content, blog weekly on the topic and have been the recipients of numerous industry awards. Visit openlove101.com to sign up for their FREE newsletter and receive updates on their videos and articles.
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43 Comments
  • Anonymous
SOFLA8763
Dec 25, 2019
Interesting and informative. Thanks,
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CCCOUPLE4FUN
Dec 18, 2019
Great read! Can't wait to see where this goes!
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CCCOUPLE4FUN
Dec 18, 2019
Thanks for this helpful article it really helps with the transition into this new lifestyle and figuring out the best way to approach it! Can't wait to read more!
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PLUSSIZEBROWNIN19
Dec 12, 2019
This article was pretty helpful for a newbie like myself. It helped me grasp a better understanding of the whole lifestyle and the expectations. Thanks for this. Keep them coming.
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LOVETOLIFT
Dec 04, 2019
This article is excellently written. Definitely a must read for newbies and so many tips for those who are headed out to the clubs for the first time. Thanks for all the great advice! Have fun!!
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MUSCLEMATT469
Dec 02, 2019
wish they had a location in Orlando would def join
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CHARLEMAGNE593
Nov 27, 2019
Appreciate you taking the time to write it. Really enjoyed the part about setting boundaries as a couple...lots of things get assumed to the detriment of the person/relationship when it does become an "oops" moment.
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BEACHCPLE45
Nov 25, 2019
Great information to share!
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SINGLEHOT69
Nov 23, 2019
Excellent article
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DOUBLEDARE1321
Nov 22, 2019
Excellent...answered many things for us
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SHORTTIME2PLAY
Nov 20, 2019
Great read for anyone starting out or just timid about it, thanks
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CHRISNKAT
Nov 19, 2019
Great information in this article!
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METEORJ
Nov 19, 2019
Excellent article
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SMS16
Nov 19, 2019
Great article. Thank you
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HERE4URPLEASURE20
Nov 19, 2019
I am in an open relationship and my wife no longer wants to swing per se with guys. She is very Bi and only wants to be with women. She is okay if I join others is a cuckquean. But how do I tell a regular girl I am in an open relationship and interested. Should I wear my wedding ring?
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JENSEXY240
Nov 18, 2019
So i like a girl, do i say hi and compliment her? Are most bi?
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JLOPEZZIE
Nov 18, 2019
Great article! I have been to Collette in New Orleans and it was my favorite swingers club thus far.
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LOVETOPLAY6121
Nov 18, 2019
Thank you thank you thank you for this article!! We are brand new and I am anxious about what to expect or what people think of me. Now with this guide I can feel more confident in our new adventure!
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TANDB27
Nov 18, 2019
Great read very informative thanks
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HOTCHICK1967
Nov 18, 2019
Great article, thanks for sharing.
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JOEMAN27
Nov 18, 2019
The article was very informative and an easy read
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CURIOUSMIND3018
Nov 17, 2019
Thank you for this insight. I’ve been very curious about the clubs and these materials gave great insight on what to expect.
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MOCKPARKER
Nov 17, 2019
Awesome article! That was spot on
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FUNCOUPLE33578
Nov 17, 2019
Great article! Very well written.
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READYFORFUN69477
Nov 17, 2019
Being new to the lifestyle we found this community very essential to us exploring our needs
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WEFAST
Nov 17, 2019
Love reading this kind of stuff thanks for all the good information
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DARULERY
Nov 17, 2019
When attending the club as a single, I just hang at the bar and many of the interested parties come to me. Just be cool, approachable, and join the bar conversations.
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TALLATXFUN
Nov 16, 2019
Fantastic articles. A great read.
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HARDCPU
Nov 16, 2019
Nice articule I would like see more like thatone
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SEXYINDYCOUPLE78
Nov 16, 2019
Good article, we have been skeptical about going to a swingers club or private party for a while now and if others have read the etiquette portion i believe we will be a lot more comfortable then we originally thought. Happy Hunting everyone.
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PLEASUREZONE
Nov 16, 2019
Great information. There are so many facets to the lifestyle, it’s Greta to have this kind of resource!
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BROWNSUGAR1
Nov 16, 2019
Great tips! This guide is definitely an excellent reference for newbies.
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JUSTUS8189
Nov 16, 2019
As Swingers in an open marriage, we find the club scene to be a place of freedom. I mean where else can you go and tell someone you want to hook up with their husband/wife and not get into a fight? Also a great place to just meet new friends who won't judge you. Some places are a bit too pricey but most are reasonable.
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ANTICIPATEME
Nov 16, 2019
Good to know, I think we all experienced some anxiety initially coming into the lifestyle that’s why it’s good to have a support group or others to help you get accustomed to the lifestyle.
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ML38
Nov 16, 2019
Really good articules. It help me to understand correctly the LS.
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LETSHAVEFUN2020
Nov 16, 2019
I think this is very helpful, knowing what to expect and how to react. As a newbie we've been open to learning from more experience people on how to handle one self in the swinger clubs or private parties. This article was very helpful
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CLINTASHLEY
Nov 16, 2019
I learned a little more from the article thanks
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SEXYTHERAPIST31
Nov 16, 2019
As a single male who still hasn't gone in a club yet, this was very helpful and I may finally go and try out a club
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JAY2900
Nov 15, 2019
As someone just starting out in the lifestyle. I find this article very insightful especially the part where putting too much pressure to fulfill goals leading to disappointment.
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CRAVINGACONNECTI
Nov 15, 2019
Helpful. I hope my future birdy is up for some swinging.. viewing some clubs no expectations.. who knows
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LASALCHICHA29
Nov 15, 2019
Great articles. I think this it is a good read for folks who are either a couple or single in the lifestyle. Everyone has some kind of worry when they go to their first "swinger or club" party. It is a shame that we have to feel that way in the beginning and at other parties because some folks want to weed out the "good" people vs the "bad" people.
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TRUCHA217
Nov 15, 2019
Ive been married for 23 years. I love my wife dearly but I feel like we need a spark. On my 40th birthday, my wife asked me what/where I wanted to go/do. I mentioned going to a local swingers club. She immediately and without hesitation said no. I thought how unfair is this..I feel like if my wife asked me to do something she was interested in I would at7 least think about it. How is this gonna work. Im still, if not more curious about the lifestyle.
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LUCKYHAPPYCOUPLE
Nov 15, 2019
Enjoyed the article
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