Women Wanna Know: What is Tantra & Neo-Tantra?
By Taara Rose & Kristen for ASN Lifestyle Magazine
I have been receiving a lot of questions about Tantra and Neo-Tantra, and recently our very close girlfriend and fellow collaborator wrote an article for our member-only community surrounding the topic! She beautifully described her understanding of Neo-Tantra and her experience exploring it. I felt that it was necessary to share this and, with her permission, submitted it to ASN for my monthly contribution to Women Wanna Know.
Enjoy the words shared by Kristen (@independentunicorn1111), and if you resonate with her, please consider pledging to her guest tier on our member-only community. Visit patreon.com/sexuninterrupted.
What is neo-tantra? “Neo” means new and Neo-tantra is a combination of both new age and modern Western tantric practices. An example of how Neo-tantra is being practiced in the 20th century is that yoni and pussy are interchangeable, just as penis and lingam are. Tantra is a conscious way of living that uses sexual energy to charge your life. In essence, live every day like it’s foreplay.
Recently, I partook in a 21-day tantra challenge that is hosted by TNT — The New Tantra. The overall objective is to remap the brain and body for pleasure. A peak orgasm is the spasming women experience in a clitoral orgasm and for men, it’s ejaculation. Both were to be avoided during the challenge while still engaging in all sorts of sexual activity. An added layer of the challenge is that women were to avoid vibrators and direct clitoral stimulation. This was particularly challenging for me as vibrators are my go-to; my favourite toy is the We-Vibe “Touch” and I’m currently saving up for my fourth.
During the challenge, I had sex once and engaged in self-pleasure almost every day. Speaking honestly, I wasn’t quite sure where to start once I knew that vibrators and direct clitoral stimulation were off the table. I reached out to two fellow practitioners, Gessica and Tim McDonald, for their advice. Setting the mood/intention for your (self) love sesh is essential. Gessica recommended cultivating horniness in my whole body before even going near my yoni. I grabbed some of my favourite bath bombs and went for a long sensual bubble bath. I started by admiring my toes, legs, arms, hands, face, playing with my hair and massaging my breasts. When you rub your belly, especially around the pelvis, you activate the womb and cervical energy. The clit will naturally start to throb and as it does you can focus on sending that sexual energy inside your pussy. Using your fingers or a dildo you can play with the entrance of your pussy and physically send the clit energy inward. When your pussy is ready to be penetrated, whether by fingers, a dildo or cock, it will literally suck the object inside of you. As you enter the pussy notice the g-spot and gently caress it. By going deeper to the cervix and uterus, the whole pelvic floor is activated; the pelvic floor is the muscle that divides the womb and colon. I really enjoy anal play so massaging/activating my pelvic floor is a very pleasurable sensation in my body. To get around cumming, if I felt close to the clit orgasm, I stopped and repeated the process. Rinse and repeat baby!
My energy was impacted during the tantra challenge. The first few days, I felt very light and happy, however, the following week was rather frustrating. Your body rewards an orgasm with dopamine. Dopamine is the chemical in your body that lets you know you’re feeling good; it’s the reward from the brain. I enjoy edge play but not being able to have an orgasm started getting annoying. I realized that not having an orgasm was like detoxing my body of them. Once I was able to get past this hump things were looking up again! I found myself extremely horny almost all the time. I did have an opportunity to have sex with an amazing couple and let me tell you, it took so much willpower not to orgasm. Feeling his and her hands massage oil into my body was riveting and tantalizing on so many levels!
I’ve had three Tantra massages since getting into the practice and each of them was unique in their own way.
The first one, I demoed in a workshop. In front of seven other couples, I received a full body massage as well as a yoni massage. Having not had any previous knowledge of how I would feel, I expected it to be more sexual than energetic, boy was I wrong. When she was touching my pussy, my crown chakra was more tingly than I’d ever experienced, as well, my arms/hands were very hot with reiki energy. I was laying on my back playing with energy balls between my hands while she gently de-armored my yoni.
The second massage I received was with Tim in my home. This experience was very spiritual. We chatted for about 45 minutes about life and he walked me through what we would be doing. The body massage itself is meant to open your energy channels; it isn’t like the relaxing massages I typically book at the spa. He performed skin pulling and stretching all down my back to my feet, next, he put pressure on different acupuncture points as well as bone bending. On the pain scale, you’re supposed to have enough pressure applied so that you’re a 7 out of 10 on the scale. Next stop was belly and pussy de-armoring. Our organs hold onto different trauma energies and the purpose of the belly de-armoring is to release these, like how you apply pressure to a knot in your shoulder. Tim told me about his experience with being belly de-armored and had warned me that I would likely cry during this part of the massage. When he was applying pressure to the first spot, I found myself fighting the release. He picked up on this, so we stopped for a few minutes, chatted about what was going on and then tried again on a different spot. There’s something to be said about owning your shit so I went with it and verbalized what feelings were coming up for me. Not going to lie, I started sobbing. Crying is such a cathartic process and it felt really, really good to acknowledge what I had been holding onto. Once I was finished, he put me in the recovery position, this is laying in the fetal position. Immediately after, I was absolutely starving and ordered a burger.
The third massage I received was with Gessica in her studio in Cochrane. I absolutely loved the ambiance of her zen den. She had lots of candles lit and I could feel that she had recently smudged. She and I chatted about what my expectations were of the massage. I really had more of an expectation of myself to show up fully and own whatever came up. She practiced the same techniques as Tim had however it was a lot more sensual and feminine. I used the Ujjayi (“ooh-JAI-yee”) breathing technique to relax myself and almost fell asleep at one point. An Ujjayi breath is created by raising your tongue to the roof of your mouth and slightly restricting your throat; it sounds like your breathing like Darth Vadar. Like with Tim, I had an intense reaction to the belly de-armoring. After I had collected myself, we dove into the pussy massage. The methodology is similar in that pressure is applied with a finger to the inside of your pussy to release tension. I found this sensation to be quite enjoyable with Gessica. There was a point in the massage where I could feel my clit throbbing, we both had a giggle over that.
My plan is to continue to see both Gessica and Tim for tantric massages so that I can experience both the masculine and feminine energy they bring to the table. My intention is to take Tantra training to help empower other people. Levels 1 and 2 of the TNT program will be available in Calgary come May 2020!
Keep it sexy!
This article originally appeared in the December 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.