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The More The Merrier: The Ménage à Trois

Thinking about having a threesome? Here are some things you should know.

Having a threesome is a common request among many males, but many women are also interested in this activity.


Consent and Communication


The first thing when considering a threesome is consent. You should never try to force, coerce, bribe or guilt your partner into having a threesome. This is where honesty and communication come in. Make sure that this is something your partner wants to do and if you’ve got consent all around, you’re golden.


Finding a Third


Now your next question may be “how can I find someone to do this with?”

There are plenty of options you can explore to find a third. Consider a close friend who both you and your partner know! The benefit is that you already have a pre-existing relationship.

If looking within your friend pool isn’t an option, try some personal sites. Make sure you exercise caution when trying to find someone online. I suggest talking to them and agreeing to meet before you ask them to join you in the bedroom.


The Club Scene


A club is a great place to meet someone too. This is something that you can do with your partner and find someone you both find mutually appealing. And one of the best locations to find someone to add to your play party is an adult vacation club. Many open-minded couples will be in attendance and you should be able to find some prospects there, or at the very least, some great friends.


The Rules


So now you all have consent and a third party. What is the next step?

Now is the time to discuss the rules. This is a very important step in negotiating a threesome.

The conversation should include what behavior is ok and what is not. For instance, is kissing on the mouth ok with your third, or is that something that is going to upset your partner? Discuss different acts and “what if” scenarios and ensure you have agreement all around before embarking on your sexual adventure together.


Breaking The Ice


So once your threesome checklist is complete: consent, a third playmate, and the rules, now the play can commence!

There are many different configurations you can be in when having a threesome, but breaking the ice can be the toughest.

I think one of the easiest ways to break the ice is with a triple kiss. It is something light, and can let you gauge each partner's willingness. From there, you can ease up or go in for more. And this advice can go for all sorts of configurations whether it is FMF (two females and a male), MFM (two males and one female), MMM, FFF, a foursome, or a moresome.

Don’t be afraid to try different things. You won’t be a pro at first. Your body is a sexual playground, so never leave your hands or mouths idle.




Have fun playing and when it comes to sex and threesomes, everything is OK here.

Dr. Megan Stubbs

Holding degrees in Human Sexuality and Biology, Dr. Megan Stubbs is an energetic multi-media savvy Sexologist. She has been building a brand that has sexual wellness, education, and pleasure at the forefront. With her respective degrees, she is able to combine two of her favorite things, science and sex, into a cohesive platform to impact her audience. She offers presentations on a wide variety of topics ranging from positive body image to sexual assault prevention. She is mindful of inclusion and brings a sensitivity to ethnic diversity rooted in her own complex heritage. Her programming is designed to entertain and educate with actionable steps and information the participants can use as soon as they leave. Her advice is frequently quoted in national media outlets, she writes for many online and print publications, appears on television, speaks on radio, and presents at public and private events.
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