W is for Women
The mothers, the lovers, the incredibly empowered successful professional women, the sexual goddesses, the givers of life and love…

Ah! Women! We can’t live with them, we can’t live without them! The mothers, the lovers, the incredibly empowered successful professional women, the sexual goddesses, the givers of life and love…

Women are complex beings with very complex bodies, including monthly cycles and hormones that if they are not in balance can affect every aspect of their lives, including their sexual experiences.

And throughout her life, a woman’s body will change, her desires will shift, her moods may alter, her libido will go up and down…


From Monthly Cycles to Life Cycles


To accept your woman for who she is, in any particular moment in her life is a gift she will always cherish. And to accept yourself and where you are in any moment, an equal gift.

As women, we go from sexual awakening in our teens to exploration, sometimes settling down with one person, to opening up to expanding the relationship to keep it alive and sexually stimulating.

A women’s sexual drive can differ dramatically depending on her cycle, and the time of the month. And also, where she is in her life cycle, too. Whether she is young and sexually exploratory or a busy mum/wife/professional to those who are more advanced in years, who have finished their periods and gone through the hormonal change, each woman is in a unique life stage/cycle.

Each woman is completely different and experiences their bodies and hormones differently. Some women have no issues with their periods. Others bleed profusely and are out of action for a week or more. Some women go through menopause without it affecting their libido, others notice a dramatic decrease in sex drive and ability to enjoy sex.

Life changes and different life cycles may affect our enjoyment of sex and ability to have a sexually satisfying life.

Acceptance and understanding of how complex we are is super important. Honoring ourselves as the amazingly complex beings we are, is necessary. However there are also factors that can affect our sexual enjoyment and ability for sexually satisfying connections.


Female Hormones and Nutritional Balance


Hormones play a big role in our sexual lives. For men, too (more on that is Z for Zest…), but women even more so. As a teenager waking up sexually can be scary. There is very little education about sex and very little geared towards encouraging young sexual beings to explore and discover what is sexually satisfying for them. There are some great books and videos out there nowadays, and I highly recommend searching them out and sharing them with the young people in your life. Periods can be horrendous. Body image, tough.  

Hormonal balance is directly affected by what we eat, too. If young women are having painful periods and bad break outs, pimples etc. then it is essential that they look at what they are eating and to avoid food that lowers the energy such as sugar and carbs. Cut out bread, pasta, cereals, and sugary drinks, and increase good quality protein and red meats that contain necessary iron, B group vitamins and essential amino acids that can help balance the body and hormones. Added mineralization is also important as we do not get certain necessary minerals from our diet and a lack can add to period cramps and mental imbalance.

Similarly, for women as we age, what we eat directly affects our libido and sex drive, body shape and emotional state. I highly recommend watching The Magic Pill, a documentary on Netflix. The body is a very delicate hormonal matrix, and to keep it balanced and in harmony takes work! Also I recommend a book that I co-wrote called, Electrical Nutrition.

There are also tests available now that can measure your hormonal balance. Sometimes, it is simply an adjustment in what you eat and perhaps some hormonal support that can make all the difference emotionally and sexually. If you find that your sex drive has decreased then get tested and see where you are at hormonally. Bio-identical hormone treatment is popular these days. And the brain chemistry can also be measured. I highly recommend the DutchTest.com as a comprehensive summary of hormonal balance. 

Another product I recommend for women going through hormonal changes who sometimes dry up and find sex painful is the award-winning personal cream from TheCream.com. It contains zero chemicals or preservatives and consists of healthy active ingredients designed to nourish the cells internally.




Show the women in your life, and yourself, some respect, love and honor for the tough job it can be, being a woman! Give yourself time and honor yourself if you are feeling exhausted, have a bath, take time for you, replenish with good foods, a pedicure, a walk in the park… Think about the women in your life and show them some love. Offer to cook them dinner, give them a massage, rub their feet, show compassion and understanding… be of service. What can you do to help them feel more loved? Next is X for X-factor…

Dr. Shelley

Originally from New Zealand, now based in Las Vegas, Dr Shelley has a PhD specializing in human sexuality and in particular open relationships and polyamory. She is the author of Soul Sex, and the Anti-Aging & Health Benefits of Sex. Dr Shelley teaches small group intensives, workshops and has been working with couples and individuals for 20 years focusing on making the world more sexually joyful. She is excited to share her latest writings Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex.
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