Foreplay is important for both men and women. It's often important for women to build desire, which leads to arousal and helps them better prepare for intercourse or other sexual activities. Also for men, and women, any type of foreplay that involves touch and shows shared caring intimacy can help with the release of oxytocin and other "love" hormones. These hormones can both enhance the sexual experience and increase bonding/intimacy, as well as help reduce the effects of cortisol and other stress hormones.
Follow the Goose Bumps
One foreplay technique that I recommend is a game I call "Follow the Goose Bumps" and it's part of a larger method I named "Intimacy Massage," but it can be wonderful by itself.
The Giver and the Receiver
Each partner takes turns doing the following:
One partner "receives" while the other "gives."
The receiver lays (preferably without clothing) on one side while the giver begins to softly kiss, stroke and lick the receiver’s neck and ear. Pay particular attention to the front inside part of the ear because that's where the vagus nerve surfaces. This nerve works its way from the back of the neck, through the chest, heart, digestive system and finally to the genital area.
As the giver stimulates the receiver's neck and ears, they need to pay careful attention to see where goose bumps form on the receiver’s body. Once they see (or feel) the goose bumps, they gently stroke or tickle the goose bump area. When they find the right spot it will often create new goosebumps on the receiver's neck. This causes a very interesting "feedback loop" in the nerves and tends to cause most people to get aroused, quickly. Even if they don't find the exact spot, it's really arousing.
Once the giver has created goose bumps up and down one side of the receiver's body, the receiver rolls over to have the process repeated on the other side. Some people also enjoy laying on their back and having the front of their throat kissed and licked the same way.
Have Fun with Foreplay
A few fun things to try with this technique: See how hard you can make your partner’s nipples just from kissing their neck or stroking the sides of their chest. Men enjoy this as well.
Also see if gently tickling their genitals, buttocks, and anus cause goose bumps anywhere else. Make a note when you find a spot that does, because if you tickle that spot on their body in the future, odds are it's sending an interesting message to their erotic areas.
Once this is done, the couple can switch places. Usually, though it gets both people so aroused they move on to other things. If that happens just have them switch places the next time they make love.
Listen and Explore
The only important thing to note is that there is a very fine line between arousing and stimulating, and tickling too much. If the receiver says it tickles too much, stop and move to another area of the body.
Also, the receiver should focus just on feeling and breathing. Many people find this technique allows them to enhance how intense the feeling of touch is for them, which pays many benefits later. If they want, blindfold the receiver. You can also have the receiver stand nude in the bedroom or another part of the house while the giver does this process.
For the giver, the process of watching how their partner's body reacts to their touch and then adjusting it to increase the response will quickly help them learn how to be a more sensual lover.
Dr. Steve McGough, D.H.S is the Director of R&D, CTO hi® Master Level instructor and Director of R&D at Women and Couples Wellness, LLC, Associate Professor of Clinical Sexology, Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Steve is regularly interviewed by outlets such as Prevention, Redbook, CNBC, MSN, Women’s Health, Medical Daily, Glamour, Ask Men, etc. Steve McGough discovered the technology behind “hi” when trying to help Wendy (his wife) recover from a tragedy.