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S is for Sex and Spirituality

Physically orgasming with another is blissful. And to connect deeply with another while making love takes it that one step further.

In my A-to-Z of Sex, of course the main focus is on sex and how to increase our enjoyment of it, and satisfaction from it. Sex is an important foundation in any relationship. Without it, in my opinion, the relationship is not satisfying. We can find sexual satisfaction on our own, but to share that sexual energy with another is so much more satisfying. Great sex is awesome. Physically orgasming with another is blissful. And to connect deeply with another while making love takes it that one step further.

Go beyond the Physical Sexual Act

Another way of describing a spiritual sexual connection would be to see it as a deeper energy connection when making love. For it to go beyond the physical sexual act to an expansive energetic orgasmic connection. For lovemaking to be not only physically amazing but also to shift that awareness to our ability to connect beyond the physical into the energetic realms. To lie there in orgasmic bliss after making love and feel the body, heart and soul connect, merge and expand…

More on that in U for Universe…


In my workshops, I love to start with activating the sexual body then moving the energy up to the heart and culminating in an energetic expansion that connects us all with the more that is, realizing that we are powerful sexual beings that can make a positive difference in this world by making love with consciousness and awareness.

Sexercise is a great way to physicalize the sexual energy. I like to encourage couples to bring the workout home and incorporate some sexual positions that increase the heart rate, build strength in the body and legs, stretch and open the cellular structure. The healthier and more free-flowing the body is, the easier it will be for the sexual energy to flow. So, have fun exploring different sexual positions and how you can bring cardio and limberness into your lovemaking. (Stay tuned for an educational sexercise video series I am working on in collaboration with some other sex educators.)

Some positions you can experiment with are: pelvic thrusts to increase the strength of the lower back; crouching cowgirl to work the thighs; press-ups for the guys with their legs straight whilst doing missionary; chair dances; working the hips in circles; doggie style with variations of pace to increase cardio; back and leg stretches whilst receiving and giving…

Make that Phsyical and Spiritual Connection

Massage is also a great way to focus the energy on the physical, incorporating erotic touch and internal massage as well as external! In my sexual massage workshop, I share different techniques that work particularly well. You can read more about that in E for Eroticism.

I like to focus on the physical first, then incorporate the sensual sexual energy through touch, then increase the passion and intensity with some full-on lovemaking to increase the heart rate. Anything that makes your heart beat hard and fast; it’s a sure way to know where your heart center is so that when you shift the energy to the heart, you will definitely feel it!

To connect the heart with your loved one by focusing on the breath can help raise sexual energy. The heart energy is a powerful force and when two hearts beat as one, the possibility of enhanced sexual healing is exponentially increased. Shifting the awareness then to your body, heart and soul merging as one, realizing we are more than just physical and that we have the ability to make a difference in this world by making love with consciousness and expanding that heart energy on out into the world, into our communities, and to our loved ones.

The combination of sex and spirituality shifts the whole sexual experience to one of sexual expansion, which adds a whole new dimension to lovemaking beyond “just sex” to a far greater, more satisfying sexual reality. I encourage you to explore this spiritual sexual connection more. Attend one of my workshops or book a private session with me! Next is T for Tenderness…

Dr. Shelley

Originally from New Zealand, now based in Las Vegas, Dr Shelley has a PhD specializing in human sexuality and in particular open relationships and polyamory. She is the author of Soul Sex, and the Anti-Aging & Health Benefits of Sex. Dr Shelley teaches small group intensives, workshops and has been working with couples and individuals for 20 years focusing on making the world more sexually joyful. She is excited to share her latest writings Dr Shelley's A-Z of Sex.
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