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Don’t Try Hotwifing at the Onset of Your Lifestyle Journey

SDC SeXXXperience Taylor Gabe Mann Hotwife Swinger Open Lifestyle
SDC SeXXXperience Taylor Gabe Mann Hotwife Swinger Open Lifestyle
This isn’t a race, it’s a marathon, and the worst thing you can do is dive in too deep, unknowingly unprepared.

Hello again, I‘m Hotwife Taylor! Thanks to all the hot, naughty DIY Hotwives-in-Training (and your significant sexy other) for tuning in again! I truly love sharing my experiences in hopes of possibly preventing you from making the mistakes I/we did, and also offer some practical advice to enhance your journey. Please enjoy Part 2 of 4 of my Hotwifing How-To Tip series, and, because it’s a sequence, make sure to read Part 1 prior to reading Part 2.

My husband Gabe and I have so much more in store for you here on SDC, including videos about hotwifing gone wrong, what we call the ‘Little Things’ (read Chapter 4 of SeXXXperience™), and also a visualization series for all you horny Hotwife husbands, so keep checking back! For now, let’s focus on the first tip for your journey to a Hotwife Lifestyle.

Essential Reading for Newbie Lifestyle Couples

Are you currently in the swinging Lifestyle? How does a newbie couple enlist in the Lifestyle? That’s easy — join, check out the heaping plethora of fantastic resources, and, of course, read more than just the previous excerpt from our book, SeXXXperience™ (See Part 1: Our First Hotwife Experience from our 4-Part Series: A DIY Guide to Hotwifing).

Between these awesomely educational offerings, you should have the basics on the how-to of getting your swinger sexy on. Then it’s just a matter of formulating the courage to dive into the consensual non-monogamy pool (and that may be literally — I love Lifestyle venues with clothing-optional pools). Here we go!

Tip #1: I Don’t Advise Entertaining Hotwifing at the Onset of Your Lifestyle Journey

We clearly weren’t ready for that large and complex of a step upon entry. Take your time. This isn’t a race, it’s a marathon, and the worst thing you can do is dive in too deep, unknowingly unprepared. We had to work through issues from our pasts and learn how to talk EVERYTHING to death. In fact, we had to mix and match fantasies before even deriving at the conclusion that I love being with other men (with or without him) and that Gabe thought me doing that was super HOT! Working through the communication and trust issues are two of the biggest challenges you’ll face. Beyond that, you’ll continue to test the waters and eventually figure out what works for you: full swap, soft swap, BBC, BDSM, group play, gang bangs, MFM, FFM, MFFM, polyamory, fetishes, etc., etc. Another challenge that most swingers have is finding compatibility with the right couple. We share a couple of hilarious vignettes in our book about that — believe it or not, people aren’t always honest in their profiles. Awkward. Prepare to be discouraged and possibly even have what we call engaging in a ‘swinger fight’ along the way. I’m positive there’s something I’ve missed, but keep in mind that it all may happen, and the important part is that you both understand that starting in the Lifestyle is a learning process. An extremely sexy one!

Hotwife 101

As a couple, have you had an encounter in which you (the wife) has had sex with another man while you (the husband) have watched? What about without the husband present? Get this experience under your belt prior to the big event. The typical definition of a Hotwife is a married woman (or domestic partner) who has the freedom in her marriage (relationship) to pursue sexual relationships with men (or even women) other than her husband (partner). Her husband (partner) has full knowledge of her activities and consents to them. I included domestic partnerships because we’ve had some controversy in the past about the term “Hotwife.” By nature, Hotwifing implies that it takes place within a marriage, but there is no alternative term for non-married couples. I also would like to clarify that this can apply to a same-sex marriage. Typical Lifestyle demographics show most couples are a female and male, but everyone is included. So, that all sounds quite arousing and titillating, right? Stay with me as I share how we tried to educate ourselves, our first Hotwife outing, and also as I offer some practical advice for those wanting to learn the true realities from a proud and experienced Hotwife!

It all started one cold, dark, and rainy November night at a sports bar in Ft. Worth, TX, where we had agreed prior that I would pick up a random, persuade him to ‘go back to my room’, then you know, do the deed. Well, let’s back up a little bit. After all, getting to this point took months of research (yeah, lots of hypothetical erotica out there but not much legit DIY), fantasizing, and dirty talk in bed, talking and trying to figure out how to get comfortable with the idea. Gabe stumbled on the Hotwife concept somewhere and brought it to my attention. There are terms such as cuckolding, a bull, a stag — we detail all of it in our book, but this information is easily accessible on the internet. I have to be honest with you guys: I’m a straight-up chicken when it comes to pushing boundaries and like to guilt myself for letting the flirtatious, little slutty tramp in me come out to play. I prefer the safety of my comfort zone — no changes, and controlled predictability. 

All that from an adult actress, go figure! However, we’d been swinging for a couple years at this point, and it’s a fact that Lifestyle couples enjoy the adrenaline rush that swinging offers. That’s where my alter ego comes into play, and I’m able — without shame — to feel that rush by daring myself to explore my fantasies. I need to give credit where credit is due, though; my husband has the patience of a saint, however motivated he may be by his shameless and hungry libido. Good thing I understand the male psyche (men simply need to be fed, f$%#ed, and complimented — it’s all in the book), and that I appreciate being desired. As long as we learn and grow together, that’s all that matters.

A DIY Guide to Hotwifing Series

Part 1 – Our First Hotwife Experience
Part 2 – Hotwifing How-To Tip 1: Don’t Try Hotwifing at the Onset of Your Lifestyle Journey (you’re here)
Part 3 – Hotwifing How-To Tip 2: Never Do Anything You Don’t Want to Do — No Matter What
Part 4 – Hotwifing How-To Tip 3: Safety First

Check Back for More SeXXXperience™ Here on SDC!

Thanks again for checking us out. We like to think that we’re simply the couple next door who are passionate about educating other couples on how to enhance their marriages. If you’re in search for more juicy content, have no fear — there’s obviously more to come! In the meantime, be sure to grab a copy of SeXXXperience. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy of it all, and reality can be a real downer. Especially if you don’t have your rules, boundaries, and expectations established. There’s nothing wrong with learning from experience, but our MO is to prevent you from making the same mistakes we did. Watch for more Hotwife tips, more SeXXXperiencepassages, and always, true-to-life stories from a real couple.

  • Anonymous
Jan 28, 2022
Very well written articles . They give a great insight in to your journey !!
May 11, 2020
I'm surprised there aren't more comments in these blog articles. They are well written, great info and a good foundation to get conversations started. As a single male that has been the lucky guy chosen to be several couples first MFM experience, I offer a view from the other side.... the guy that the Hot Wife gets to play with. First I agree the term "hot wife" is fluid and has a different meaning to some couples. I've been watched with the wife in cuck play and that hubby would say they were doing a hot wife scenario BUT the same could apply for full-on MFM threesomes OR the rare situations where the wife had a hall pass and could play alone. That scenario specifically is where I want to make a comment on for couples considering a hot wife that is going to go play alone. Be careful! For some relationships that go down that path, I have found that they have in the past (or currently are) experiencing marital issues and felt giving this freedom was going to perform some type of miracle marriage counseling. It is also sometimes an excuse for a spouse to go do their thing since they were so happily willing to issue a hall pass to the other. In one situation, I met a couple for drinks. It went well and she wanted to come home that night alone with me. That proceeded to be a one year 'relationship' in which she inevitably developed feelings (and he dived deeper into porn addiction and contacting women and couples without her knowing). I won't get into the complete evolution and end of that romance but bottom line, a woman can not continually hot wife 1-on-1 with the same sexual partner and not develop emotions. This ends no where good for the long term health of the marriage.